Weather forecasters disagree; we could see polar bears in the region

NORTHWEST ARKANSAS — According to the long-range forecast released by the National Weather Service on Friday, northwest Arkansas can expect normal temperatures over the next 30 days and slightly above-normal temperatures over the next three-month period. Rainfall predictions show the region between above normal to the north and below normal to the south, meaning it’s anyone’s guess how much rain and snow we can expect in the upcoming months.

A group of elderly farmers who met for coffee in Maysville on Saturday disagree. They are expecting colder than normal temperatures and more snowfall than we’ve seen in the last few years.

“My cows are really starting to put on their winter coats early,” said Tim Jacobs, an area beef producer. “That means winter will be here before we know it and it might be a lot colder than usual, too!”

“I heard it’s already been snowing up in Montana,” said Harvey Walker. “It may take a little bit, but I reckon it’ll be snowing here too, in a month or so.”

Most agreed that, with the unusually mild winter last year, we must be in for an unusually cold and snowy winter this year.

“It’s just the law of averages,” they said.

“We should be in pretty good shape, though,” Walker added. “We’ve got lots of hay put up, so we’ll have plenty to roll out in the pastures when the snow comes.”

Of course, the experts in Washington disagree. They’re forecasting warmer and drier conditions across the mid-south and southwestern regions of the country due to their convictions about global warming, which they have renamed “climate change” in order to accommodate colder-than-usual weather when it comes.

“Temperatures are going to continue to rise, gradually, due to all the carbon emissions,” said professor Harry Hollister of the University of Climatology in eastern Massachusetts. “Even when winters are colder than usual, that’s proof of global warming because we’d have to change all our views and admit we were wrong if we didn’t make colder winters and milder summers fit into our theories.”

Warmer than usual temperatures are forecast for northern Alaska this winter, and there could be some thawing of the polar ice cap, according to NOAA reports. That could force the polar bears, which normally live on the ice cap, to migrate south and into populated regions of North America. When the snows do come, local residents are advised to keep their eyes peeled for any of the great white northern bears and not to put out their garbage or pile up any dead chickens, which could attract the enormous and fearless carnivores.

But, according to the state Fish and Game Department, the polar bear migration could be a good thing for Arkansans. If enough of the bears migrate south to Arkansas, a polar bear season could be added to hunting licenses for the first time since the close of the ice age more than 2,000 years ago. Plans are in place to count the bears as they cross the borders into Arkansas.

We only ask that if our readers see any of the big, white bears, they please send us pictures.

S.A. Tired covers fictitious news from an unrealistic perspective for the Eagle Observer. He may be contacted by email at eagleobserver@nwadg.com. News and views in Spinning the News are claimed by no one else but the author.