“Dancing freed me from a prison of suffering”
After a horrifically painful illness almost took her life as a teenager, Michele Rosenthal spent the next 25 years suffering from undiagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). But just when she’d lost all hope of living a happy life, she found joy an
Terrified to move, speak or even swallow, 13-year-old Michele Rosenthal lay frozen in her hospital bed. She had been diagnosed with toxic epidermal necrolysis syndrome, a rare—and often fatal—allergic reaction to an antibiotic that had left her body, mouth and throat covered in large, excruciating blisters.
“Please, stop!” Michele cried, writhing in agony as the nurses applied painful antiseptics to her raw skin three times a day to prevent infection.
After almost three weeks in the hospital, Michele had healed enough to be sent home. But while her blisters were fading and she appeared much better, the intense fear and pain she’d endured day after day had created a deep, lasting emotional wound that no one—not even Michele— realized was there. A wound that would take her decades to heal.
Searching for hope
In the months following her hospital stay, Michele began experiencing insomnia, and when she did sleep, she’d have terrible nightmares. She started having extreme anxiety, feeling sudden bursts of rage, and missed school because of stomach issues.
What’s wrong with me? Michele worried, but she was hesitant to share her concerns because she was terrified she would wind up in the hospital again. So young Michele painted on a smile, telling herself, Just pretend you’re okay. And somehow she managed to fool everyone— even her parents.
Michele pushed through high school and college, then moved to New York City, but her health continued to deteriorate. Throughout her 20s and 30s, she suffered a myriad of illnesses including exhaustion, anorexia, depression and chronic sinus infections. And to make matters worse, she struggled to hold down a steady job or maintain a loving relationship.
“What am I going to do?” she sobbed to her father, all her sadness and frustration pouring out. “I’ve seen doctors, I’ve tried everything—nothing helps.”
“Perhaps it’s time to find a different kind of help,” he replied, and suggested that she start seeing a therapist.
Taking her dad’s advice, Michele found a therapist who made her feel safe, so she slowly began to open up. And as they delved into her past, Michele discovered that toxic epidermal necrolysis syndrome is consistently referred to as “traumatic.” She began reading more about the effects of trauma and came across a line in a book that stopped her cold: Stress that causes long-lasting emotional and physical symptoms plus erratic behavior is clinically called post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
“That’s it!” Michele cried as her heart began to pound. “I think I have PTSD.”
At age 37, with the help of her therapist, Michele began exploring various treatments for PTSD. Although she was thrilled to finally have a diagnosis, she still struggled to free herself from the emotional darkness and physical symptoms that continued to plague her. Will I ever feel happy and whole? she worried. But soon, she found her answer in an unexpected way.
The power of joy
On New Year’s Eve in 2006, Michele went to a party with her family and, on a whim, she grabbed her brother’s hand and pulled him onto the dance floor.
As Michele moved to the music, a strange and wonderful feeling washed over her. She felt her body relax as all her worries completely evaporated.
What’s going on? she puzzled…then it suddenly hit her. After almost three decades of anxiety and despair, Michele realized she was feeling pure…joy. I need to feel more of this! she smiled. So Michelle immediately began taking ballroom dance classes a few times a week where she found bliss and peace in losing herself in the music and movement. And to her amazement, she began sleeping more, crying less and waking up each morning looking forward to the day. By her 40th birthday, her PTSD symptoms had all but disappeared…and for the first time in decades, Michele finally felt happy, healthy and whole. Today, 50-year-old Michele is symptom-free, still dancing up a storm and living a full life—she fell in love with her instructor, John, and they have been dancing together for 11 years. She also wrote a memoir called, Before the World Intruded and helps others with PTSD find their way to freedom. “The joy of dancing set me free, but there are all kinds of ways you can find healing,” Michele beams. “Never give up—there’s hope for everyone who has suffered traumatic stress. I’m proof there’s a beautiful, vibrant life after PTSD!”
“Don’t give up hope— PTSD can be cured!” Alain Brunet, PH.D.