Cate’s autistic son fell into a depression— and crafting brought his smile back!
As Cate Kurowsky watched her teenage son, Andrew, who has autism, retreat into a world of despair and depression, she worried she’d never be able to help him out of the darkness…until she discovered a true miracle in a little bit of paper, scissors and glue
With a heavy heart, Cate Kurowsky gazed at her 16-year-old son, Andrew, as he sat motionless in the living room, staring blankly out the window. He used to love watching his favorite TV show and playing on his computer, but lately he hadn’t been interested in either.
Having nonverbal autism, Andrew couldn’t express what he was thinking or feeling, but the Columbus, New Jersey, mom had always been able to read her son’s heart from the expressions on his face. And that night, Andrew looked… sad. Sadder than Cate had ever seen him. “Andrew, it’s going to be okay,” Cate offered. But as she reached for him, Andrew pulled away and began crying uncontrollably. As Cate helplessly stepped back, a tortured whisper echoed in her heart. You’ve fought for so long, my beautiful boy…please, don’t give up now.
The journey to hope
Already the mother of one little boy when Andrew was born, Cate realized early on that something was different about her second son. Andrew didn’t like to make eye contact or return smiles or kisses. He never began talking, and at the park, while other children played together, Andrew withdrew and watched from the sidelines. When he was 3 years old, tests were run, and Cate and her husband, Geoff, learned that their little boy had autism.
Cate was determined to build a happy life for her son. He’ ll be different, but he’s going to be
loved, and we’ ll make sure he’s okay, she vowed. Every day, Cate worked with Andrew, teaching him basic skills, and when he was 5 years old, she enrolled him in kindergarten.
To Cate’s delight, Andrew loved school. The little boy who’d always shied away from other kids actually smiled during circle time. And with the help of a behaviorist who developed special programs for him, he was able to get through all of elementary school. But in middle school, Andrew began to fall behind. His smile faded, and his face clouded with sadness and frustration.
“He knows other kids can do more and it upsets him,” Cate told Geoff, her heart aching.
In high school, the gap between Andrew and the other kids became even wider. He also developed epilepsy, causing him to feel even more isolated. He grew irritable and developed mood swings that were so severe, he could no longer attend his classes.
“It’s okay. I’ll work with you here at home,” Cate tried to console her son.
But Andrew pushed her away, retreating into a world of sadness and depression. Seeing her son so lost and broken, Cate’s own heart shattered.
I have to find a way to reach him…to remind him that he is valuable and special, Cate thought fiercely.
A new world of joy
Looking online for project ideas, Cate stumbled upon a tutorial for making paper flowers. It looked simple enough, and Cate hoped that the texture of the paper and bright colors would stimulate Andrew’s creativity.
After buying supplies, she set up a crafting studio in their barn. “Here, all you have to do is press down,” Cate explained, guiding her son’s hands on the flower punch. “I know you can do it!”
At first, Andrew sat, staring blankly. But then as he pushed on the puncher and saw the little flower shapes he’d created, Andrew looked at his mother with a sparkle in his eyes and burst into a giant smile—the first she’d seen in months. “Great job!” Cate exclaimed through happy tears. “Those are beautiful!” With newfound hope, Cate began crafting with Andrew every day. And to her joy, he began smiling more and his mood swings diminished. Soon, he was working on his computer again, joining the family on outings and becoming engaged in his homeschool program. As the years passed, Andrew and Cate not only continued crafting together but they started selling their creations at craft fairs and in an Etsy shop called Papercatz (Papercatz.etsy.com). Today with each sale, Andrew, who is now 24, beams with pride. And his story inspires everyone— especially parents of children with autism. “Once school ends, we worry about what our adult child with autism will do,” one mother shared. “But seeing what Andrew has accomplished has given us new hope.” And hope is exactly what Cate wants others to take away from their story. “If you’re a parent or a caregiver and your child becomes wrapped in despair, have faith you’ll find the thing that will restore his or her joy,” Cate encourages. “When you feel like you’re about to step off into darkness, faith is knowing you will either be given something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly… or simply find your smile again, like my sweet Andrew!”
“Crafting produces effortbased rewards that make our brains—and us!— very happy.” —Kelly Lambert, PH.D.