Pen-pricks

• Mercedes-Benz announced it will produce the world’s most luxurious and powerful SUV made. Priced at half a million dollars, it may weigh an extra a ton with all the luxury accessories. They gave this SUV an American name, in fact it’s named after the new EPA Secretary.

• President Trump called Senator Rand Paul from the Oval Office to push for the GOP health care bill. It was just Trump and Senator Paul on the line, plus the CIA, the NSA, Barack and the Russians. Whenever Trump calls Domino’s, it’s like ordering pizza for an entire fraternity house.

• Fox News cited a jobs survey saying 346,000 jobs were created in the U.S. during President Trump’s first month in office. And that excludes paid protestors. Whistling Dixie is when CNN commentators complain it’s going to be a long four years under President Trump.

Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and a speaker. His email address is argus@argushamilton.com.

I did not choose the name of my God. I was born into my faith. As were my parents before me. And theirs before them. And theirs before,

And theirs before, and theirs before.

From toddler to teen I was steeped in my faith, with lessons of right and wrong, with lessons of love and forgiveness. In stories and verse, recited, rehearsed, the lessons of reward and punishment. Preteen, I was taught to avoid those whose faith might be different from mine and my parent’s. For ours is the one true faith. Ours is the one true God. As an adult, through work and circumstance,

I earned your friendship and respect,

though we were from two different worlds. A friend, honest and true, your loyalty was never in question, your faith was never to mention. And now, in my waning years, I wonder, “What if. Just what if The God that I know by this name, Is the same God which you know by another!” You did not choose the name of your God. You were born into your faith. As were your parents before you. And theirs before them. And theirs before,

And theirs before, and theirs before.

From toddler to teen you were steeped in your faith, with lessons of right and wrong, with lessons of love and forgiveness. In stories and verse, recited, rehearsed, the lessons of reward and punishment. Preteen, you were taught to avoid those whose faith might be different from yours and your parent’s. For yours is the one true faith. Yours is the one true God.

You’d best put on your thinking cap and screw it down real tight

That dreaded day will soon be here, it haunts you day and night

You know you can’t avoid that day, it happens every year

There’s one group who will celebrate and never shed a tear

That’s the moguls resting on their butts residing in D.C.

I’m sure that they could ease our pains that they don’t want to see

I wish I could afford to use an offshore bank like they

Just keep my money out of sight, so I don’t have to pay

Parties then I could attend with call girls by the score

Like politicians in D.C., who could ask for more

But I.R.S. can’t go off-shore to audit these accounts

I’m sure they know what games are played, but not in what amounts

But in the meantime, you and I must honor all the rules

And file our tax returns each year, and watch those suckers drool