The truth about money after marriage, kids

Who remembers being single and having no children? If you were lucky like me, you got to enjoy some of your adult years living on your own and being independent.

I loved traveling, focusing on my passions, giving to the less fortunate and treating myself to what I needed. It’s so easy. No questions asked. You don’t have to worry about the needs of someone who depends on you. Whatever you do, it’s just you. If you want to buy an expensive purse and eat Ramen noodles all week, that’s perfectly fine.

After you get married, you quickly realize that when it comes to money, things change quite a bit. You no longer are focused on only you. Now, you want to make sure you do what is best for both of you, which can be a challenge.

Personally, I value the expertise and advice of great financial leaders, such as Dave Ramsey. If you feel the same way, you already know about the importance of combining finances and having ongoing budget meetings. (If you don’t, and you are tired of the way your family deals with finances, I encourage you to do further research.) These two good practices, along with many others that you can learn from experts like him, can help you set a good foundation for your marriage.

As financial expert Rachel Cruze notes, “No matter what stage your marriage is in, you need to be aware of potential stumbling blocks with money. Because, as you continue to grow your income, that doesn’t mean you won’t have issues.”

Communicating with your spouse about finances and having clear goals can lead you to enjoying financial peace and avoiding future conflict. I encourage you to come together with your spouse and find the direction you both want to take financially. There are great tools available that can help you in the process; it only takes a little bit of research and a lot of desire.

Now, you are married. Maybe you have a great foundation as a couple and perhaps you already bought your first home. You know your monthly budget, you are meeting your financial goals and you feel ready for the next step in building your family: having children.

We don’t know how expensive children are until we become parents. But along with the changes in your budget also come changes in attitude. You went from doing what you want with money, joining forces with your spouse to take control over your money, to what feels like a child taking over all that hard work. Who knew that the average cost of diapers and baby wipes alone is about $1,000 a year, not to mention the annual $6,500 in childcare per child?

It can feel quite overwhelming. However, we learn it is not all about us and, in God’s mercy, he uses this time to really polish who we are as people.

Once your children start getting older, then it’s time to teach them about saving, spending and giving in a way that is responsible and aligns with your family’s values. This is the perfect opportunity to teach your child those lessons you didn’t learn until you were an adult and/or those great lessons your parents taught you during your forming years. Whichever is the case, we have the chance to encourage our children to do better than we did with our finances and make better choices.

Diana Maldonado is a community outreach specialist at Yuma Regional Medical Center. She can be reached at dmaldonado@yumaregional.org.