pen-pricks

• The Nobel Peace Prize was given to a group dedicated to eliminating nuclear weapons from every country on earth. They were the second choice. The Nobel Peace Prize was first offered to Melania Trump a month ago, but she refused to hide her husband’s phone and change the password.

• Jerry Jones announced any Dallas Cowboys player who doesn’t stand for the National Anthem will be benched. It’s spreading. While in line at the grocery store this morning, I dropped to one knee to tie my shoelace and everyone else in line dropped to one knee and locked arms with me.

• President Trump got in a nasty Twitter battle with GOP Senate Foreign Relations Committee Chairman Bob Corker. It won’t end well. Corker called the White House an adult day care center, prompting President Trump to throw his sippy cup against the French door in the Oval Office. Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and a speaker. His email address is argus@argushamilton.com.