What is a healthy relationship?
November is upon us and thankful thoughts come to mind. Along with being thankful come good friendships, healthy relationships and fond living. Still, more often than enough we see divorces and separations happening all around, dysfunctional families trying their best to survive, but in the end may end up with broken hearts. For some, divorce or separation may be the solution to their problems; yet for others there may still be a light at the end of the tunnel. Let’s explore some of the ideas of what a healthy relationship entails.
It is known that communication and honesty is the key to a healthy relationship. When something is troubling you, it is best to talk about it rather then holding it in. Always keeping in mind mutual respect as sometimes things we say may hurt others’ feelings and/or wishes of a relationship. Remember to always look for the middle ground in a situation as it is not what “I want;” rather what “we want,” which will make the difference when solving a conflict.
Never try to change the other person; focus on you first, changing and adjusting to the situation will help in finding a mutual understanding. Compromise with your partner, let them know you care and are willing to work it out. Disagreements are a natural part of a healthy relationship, but it is important to find a way to compromise to solve conflicts in a fair and reasonable way.
Always be of support to your partner, even if what they say, think or do seems irrational to you. Remember you are each other’s cheerleaders, encourage each other to think, say and do according to your mutual agreements with care and respect. Healthy relationships are about bringing each other up in every aspect of your lives, rather then putting each other down. At the same time, you may not always be in tuned with each other due to work, daily activities or life; therefore you must communicate with each other when in need of support or attention in any given situation.
On another note, remember you are not each other’s keeper. Each partner must have their own identity and their own personal time. It is important to maintain space between partners in order to prevent monotony and bareness. You do not have to share everything all the time and be together always. You are still a unique individual with particular hobbies, taste preferences in different things and maybe even different friends. Always being respectful of not going beyond your mutual agreements trusting your partner will be loyal and truthful. A healthy relationship allows you to have your “me” time with friends doing different activities, respecting each other’s individual likes and desires.
Ultimately, a healthy relationship must possess the virtue of being playful with each other. A loving relationship will happen once the partners are willing to be cheerful, looking at the bright side of things, being frisky, easy going, high spirited, sending each other loving notes. Be daring to show your love and fondness for your partner being spontaneous and surprising with things you know your partner likes.
According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, a healthy relationship allows both partners to feel supported and connected but still feel independent; being communication and boundaries the two major components. Overall, mutual respect, followed by trust and honesty will convey the support, fairness and equality of each other’s individual identities; but it will only happen with good communication and a little sense of humor to bring out sparkle of a loving relationship. Without further ado, happy trails to a healthy relationship!
Magnolia Alonzo is the adult education program coordinator for the Somerton School District 11. She can be reached at malonzo@ssd11.org.