Pen-pricks
• The New England Patriots play the Philadelphia Eagles in the Super Bowl in Minnesota’s new state-of-the-art indoor stadium in Minneapolis today. Tickets average over $5,000 apiece. This shows how much Minnesotans are willing to pay to be inside a heated dome in February.
• Men’s Health recommended running as the best exercise to maintain your ability to perceive new information. Last night while jogging through Beverly Hills, I saw three raccoons and an armadillo lying dead along Sunset Boulevard. This opioid crisis is a lot worse than we are being told.
• West Hollywood passed an ordinance forbidding all apartment building owners from banning their tenants from owning pets or banning them from replacing lost ones. Pets are greatly adored in this town. A dog will allow you to put a studded collar around its neck without calling you a pervert.
• California became the latest state to legalize the recreational use of marijuana in January, but people are still getting busted left and right. Last week, I saw a guy getting arrested with a bag of weed at the Promenade in Santa Monica. The weed’s legal, but the plastic baggie is a jail-able offense.
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and a speaker. His email address is argus@argushamilton.com.