Work is supposed to sustain your life ... not replace it
Acouple of months ago I wrote an article titled, ‘Turn! For every thing, there is a season.’ The focus was on my transition from being a married wife, mother, work colleague, and community member to managing my life after my husband, Jose, passed away. My role as mother, work colleague and community member hasn’t changed, but what has changed is that now I have to go it all alone. This is not to say that I don’t have wonderful support of family and friends at any given moment. I have a strong support system that helps my daughter and me on a daily basis. But I’m talking about those times when work and family obligations come to crossroads and decisions must be made. Recently, doubt and hesitation reared their ugly heads and that got me thinking about life and workplace balance.
Has this ever happened to you? In April, I surprised my daughter, Ariana, with Twenty One Pilots tickets (Phoenix Venue) on her 13th birthday. The concert wasn’t scheduled until November of 2018 so I had nothing to worry about in terms of conflicts, right? Well, here I am October 2018 and guess what happens? There is an important event that my office, along with the Office of the President at AWC, is hosting to commemorate a new venture within my division. The November date is literally the only time the entire team is available at the same time. Everyone, except me. For a few moments, I found myself feeling stressed and guilty as though I was flaking-out on my workplace responsibilities. For a few moments, I found myself contemplating whether to withdraw from attending the concert and sending Ariana with a family member to Phoenix to enjoy the show.
Right at that moment, as I felt guilt and stress about not being available for the work function, I asked myself why am I not asking the same question of myself and my availability to attend this family function with my daughter. Work is supposed to sustain your life, not replace it. This pressure that I was feeling, I put on myself. My workplace, Arizona Western College, has always been adaptable and accommodating before, during and after my husband’s passing. Why is this moment any different in my mind’s eye? After a couple of days, I talked myself into a place of peace. I realized that none of my colleagues, supervisors or the president of the college are going to look at me as a slacker, but rather they will see me as a mother looking to create new memories with her daughter. In fact, this experience reminded me of the fact that I work with a fabulous team of people who totally rock!
I know situations like these may happen again in the future, but until they do, I will continue to work toward achieving a positive work-life balance. My advice to anyone who may see their balance slipping is to ask yourself the following questions: 1) What values and qualities of life are important to me? Take an inventory of what makes you happy and brings joy into your life. 2) Do I really need to stay so connected to my technology? Family and friends are bound to feel ignored if you keep checking your phone every few minutes during dinner, while watching TV, or in the middle of your kid’s baseball game. Technology itself can throw off your sense of peace. 3) What do I want to do more of with my non-working hours? Making space for these things requires being better stewards of your time. Create a priority list of career, relationships, and self. Using a three-category list like this reminds us that, in order to maintain balance in one’s life, there should always be something in all three categories.
What’s my plan for November 9? Needless to say, I will be partaking in the festivities of Twenty One Pilots, spending my hard-earned money on an overpriced concert T-shirt, and creating new memories with my daughter.
Maria E. Aguirre is an associate dean for the Downtown Center Services at Arizona Western College. She can be reached at maria.aguirre@azwestern. edu.