At some point, kids need to fly on their own

Desire to help adult kids shouldn’t mean draining retirement savings

When I graduated from high school, one thing was very clear. I was on my own financially. I was headed off to college, and it was up to me to figure out how to pay for it.

My parents kept one bill, which was my car insurance, which they agreed to cover until I graduated. And for that, I was very thankful. My parents still had three kids at home, and money was always tight.

College tuition, books, dorm housing, health insurance, gas, food, fun … that was all up to me, and paid for by me, with money I earned.

I didn’t always make the smartest financial decisions, and I wish there had been some conversations leading up to that moment. But I did manage without my parents’ assistance.

So I was really surprised by a story from USA Today recently that found at least 50 percent of parents have cut into their retirement savings to help their adult children financially.

The story cites an online survey which asks “At what age do you think a person should start paying for each of the following items on their own?” The results were as follows: cell phone bill: age 19; car payment, car insurance, subscription services, credit card bills, and travel costs: age 20; housing costs, age 21; student loans and health insurance: age 23.

The whole survey fascinates me. If Junior accumulates debt and bills, shouldn’t he be responsible for it?

I understand the desire to help kids out a bit, but ultimately, the responsibility belongs to the young adult. It builds character and helps one appreciate what they have when they really earn it.

Then, I read these reports of politicians who want to cancel student loan debt, which just leaves me flummoxed. Getting a degree can be incredibly overpriced, and I think something needs to be done to rein those costs in. The cost of higher education has skyrocketed.

However, students know this when they go to college — I certainly did.

I worked several jobs in college, kept my grades up, earned grants and scholarships, and defrayed some of the costs. But the balance of student loans took me years to pay off. I didn’t resent it though — that was simply the price tag, and it was my responsibility to handle it.

There are hundreds of students in Yuma County right now getting ready to head off to college.

To those young adults, I would say this: Go get that education. Live your life. But do it on your terms, work hard and earn it. Don’t rely on your parents’ retirement savings or a mythical debt forgiveness somewhere down the road.

At some point, parents have to let their kids fly on their own. Mine did — and somehow, my siblings and I made it out just fine.