‘Words matter’
Photography exhibit gives insight into verbal abuse and its scars
Fists damage the body, leaving black eyes, bruises and broken bones, but words, too, can hurt a person - deep in their souls.
Verbal abuse and the damage it can do is something Adele Lopez is only too well aware of, having endured it for 10 years. And it’s a message she is sharing with others through the lens of her camera with a solo photographic exhibition in observance of October not only as Domestic Violence Awareness Month but also Verbal Abuse Awareness Month.
Her exhibition, titled “Words Matter: Abuse Isn’t Always Physical,” opens this evening and will run until the end of the month at Littlewood Fine Art and Community Co-Op, 176 S. Main St.
Her exhibition will include 47 photographs of people holding whiteboards with hurtful words they themselves have experienced, words often expressed by those closest to them. One woman had been told by her now exhusband that Santa should bring her a treadmill, another that her parents died so they didn’t have to be around her, one wheelchairbound woman that she was lazy and the lone man in the exhibit that he was so skinny he looked like a Holocaust survivor.
Lopez said she undertook the project to raise awareness of verbal abuse and the scars it leaves and to give the victims a voice. “They’re so compelling,” she said of the messages and the emotion shown by the models. “I even cried. It hits you hard when you experience something like that. There are so many people dealing with this … who don’t have the strength to stand up for themselves or walk away. If even one person sees it and gains the strength to walk away, I’ll think it’s a success.”
The project is very personal to Lopez, who is from Southern California and was in a long-term abusive relationship. She had been told: “Without me you are nothing” and it was no wonder she was a single mother.
“Mine was hard to do,” she acknowledged. “It was very emotional. It’s hard to recover from it even after you leave. It’s hard to trust other people again. I came out of it a very small and scared person.”
But over time she grew and started to trust again. And she found a new beginning when she moved to Yuma four years ago to continue to pursue her photography career through EMC Photography Studio: “Every Moment Counts.” She specializes in stylized photos such as with models and for special events as weddings.
“I love what I do,” Lopez said. And, she added, “I like Yuma … I like it a lot. It’s not as busy as San Diego and Los Angeles and the best part is the people. People here are so much nicer.”
She said she came up with the idea for the exhibition when she saw someone do something similar a couple years ago and loved the idea as a way to connect with people. However, last year someone had a similar idea and produced a project for survivors of miscarriage. This year she jumped in with her idea about highlighting verbal abuse and “Words Hurt” was born.
“I’m really proud of this project,” she said. “I feel it brings light to people’s lives.”
She considers it interactive as she expects people will be compelled to respond emotionally to the models, their messages and their shared experiences.
“I really hope that someone who was told really horrible things will gain the hope and strength to stand up for themselves and walk away. No one deserves to be talked about like this no matter the situation.”
And if someone comes who has been an abuser, she hopes they gain some understanding of how emotionally damaging their unkind words are.
Lopez said she originally had 75 applicants both locally and out of town for the project. But when they learned their experiences would go public, several declined to participate. That left her with 47 photographs of models who each shared three messages.
The exhibition will feature a large frame with a collage of all 47 photographs and some sayings about verbal abuse. Each individual message will also be framed separately so people can really absorb the words and the emotion they arouse.
In addition, there will be two blank canvases for the public to write on during the time the project is up, with either abusing sayings someone has told them or words of encouragement to those who are suffering.
Tonight’s open house will be held from 7 to 9 p.m., with some of the participants on hand to share their stories. Refreshments will be served. The exhibit will remain up until Oct. 30.
Lopez also intends to post the photographs on her studio’s website at www.emcphotographystudio.com.
“This was a very important project for me,” Lopez concluded. “It was almost like a part of me. Each one felt like I’ve felt and I hurt for them. Words do matter and people need to choose them wisely.”
Joyce Lobeck can be reached at jklobeck@msn.com.