Pen-pricks
• The L.A. Times reports that L.A. plastic surgeons are now touting the health benefits of cosmetic surgery. A new case study that just came out found that breast implants can save your life if you’re shot in the chest. In a related story, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills just joined SEAL Team Six.
• Mayor Pete proposed legalizing drugs in the U.S. and rehabilitating drug users instead of jailing them. Country folk manufacture meth the way they used to make moonshine. I can’t believe I’ve lived long enough to see Sudafed replace Crisco as the number-one ingredient in Southern cooking.
• The Houston Astros’ cheating scandal spread after reports their hitters wore electronic impulse patches. A TV camera-viewing spy would steal the catcher’s signal, then buzz it to the player. If you ever go fishing in Nevada’s Lake Mead, you might catch a blackjack player who tried the same thing.
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and a speaker. His email address is argus@argushamilton.com.
Recently I was watching a friend’s dog while they were away and the dog had a few accidents on my living room carpet. It was just a few days before Christmas and I wanted to get someone over right away to clean the carpet. Being so close to Christmas I was afraid it would be hard to find someone who was available. I called Lockard’s Carpet Cleaning and luckily, he had an opening and came right over. Mr. Lockard took care of the stains and was very professional. His pricing was also very reasonable, considering the short notice and with Christmas fast approaching. If you need your carpet cleaned, I highly recommend Lockards Carpet Cleaning.
I have this friend Jack, who works for a local golf course. Occasionally
Political cartoons usually make someone angry, as they are intended to do being a form of satire, holding persons, events or ideologies up to ridicule. As such they are powerful, and frequently anger me, again as intended. But I can’t recall a time before Jan. 14, 2020 when I was disgusted with one. The Yuma Sun cartoon that day essentially vilified our country and all its citizens, ideals, history and heritage. Disgust is the best I can do, being defined as a sickening distaste, repugnance, repulsion. I suggest to you that it was beyond the confines of cartoon journalism. I recognize there is a segment of our citizens that think we are a terrible people and country. They have been carefully raised up and trained by an education system that generally despises this country. What then should we expect? We can solve our problems but not by denying our amazing history and the ideals that made us who we are. Perhaps we Americans could start a GoFundMe account for the author to help him get out of this country he so despises and go somewhere else.