CHANGING FACE OF OPPOSITION
“Being in opposition does not mean criticising everything that the government does” -Mr Tayali
ZAMBIA’S young democracy is moving towards full maturity following the migration last week by the opposition political parties from the traditional mono criticism to cannibalising themselves as well.
“Being in opposition does not mean criticising everything that the government does,” said chief guest speaker, Mr ChilufyaTayali at the migration launch dubbed the “Awakening of the Opposition Political Parties towards being the Opposition Political Parties of the Opposition Political Parties.”
Mr Tayali, who is president of the opposition Economic and Equity Party (ECP), lashed out at fellow opposition parties for vehemently disparaging government for buying a fleet of new ambulances.
Indeed, the government is fully aware that some opposition parties were already sick and they would get sicker as 2021 approaches.
The government is also aware that blood boils to dangerous levels in body systems of some political party functionaries especially after the announcement of election results.
According to impeccable sources near the corridors of power, the new ambulances would be stationed at each and every centre designated to announce the upcoming 2021election results.
The ambulances would be on hand to deal with the anticipated health emergencies like rising high blood pressure and strokes to be suffered by those who would be vanquished by the victors.
So, why blame the government for this foresight?
See how government suffered a similar bashing from the opposition parties not long ago and yet many Zambians live in grass thatched huts prone to bush fires in villages.
Thanks to Mr Tayali, the opposition would forthwith be subjected to criticism as from fellow periphery sitters.
Ironically, some opposition parties deliberately do not reveal what they stand for and how they intend to administer government business if in power merely to avoid being censured publicly.
Such parties should learn to do so from their counterparts in foreign lands - bizarre as they may.
The goal of the Polish Beer Lovers’ Party is self-explanatory. Registered in 1990, the party engages in political discussions while drinking excellent beer in pubs. Although the party was started as a joke at first, it eventually developed a serious platform.
After a sudden surge in popularity, the Polish Beer Lovers’ Party won 16 seats in the lower house of the Polish parliament in the 1991 elections. The success of the party was largely attributed to its humorous name, which helped to secure votes from those who were disappointed with the Polish political system of the time.
In 1992, the party split into the Big Beer Party and the Little Beer Party. The Big Beer Party eventually changed its name to the Polish Economic Programme and gradually lost its quirkiness.
Founded in 2006, the Pirate Party of Sweden was first seen as a bit of a joke. Questions such as “who would want to vote for such a narrow platform” and “who would want to be associated with pirates” who terrorise sailors in high seas?
However, to the surprise of many, the party gained sudden success by raising questions about Internet-related issues, such as copyright and privacy. No other party had ever asked these questions.
In 2009, the Pirate Party of Sweden won one seat in the European Parliamentary elections.
The Official Monster Raving Loony Party was established in the United Kingdom in 1983 by musician David Sutch (aka Screaming Lord Sutch). The party’s tagline was “Vote for insanity: you know it makes sense.”
Over the years, the party had come up with some extremely bizarre proposals, such as “turn the whole country into a fun park, creating eight million jobs” and “turn Britain into the world’s biggest tax haven by driving the Channel Tunnel through the Channel Islands.”
Nonetheless, some of the party’s suggestions - such as being able to vote at 18 and issuance of passports to pets – have been implemented. Party members have been elected to various town council positions across the country, some of them as mayors.
In 1979, the Danish Union of Conscientiously Work-Shy Elements was founded by Jacob Haugaard, an actor, musician, and comedian. This political party stated that everyone has the right to laziness and argued for eight hours of sleep, eight hours of rest, and eight hours of leisure every day.
This party known for posing questions such as: “If work is healthy, then why not give it to the sick?”
After participating in several unsuccessful elections, Jacob Haugaard won a local seat in the parliamentary election of 1994.
The Independent Royalist Party of Estonia was known for its humorous expression of protest. During the first post-Soviet elections in 1992, the party won eight seats in parliament.
The main proposal of the Independent Royalist Party of Estonia was to establish Estonia as an absolute monarchy. In 1994, the party wrote to Prince Edward of England asking him to become the King of Estonia.
The party’s main incentive was tempting: “Estonian newspapers are a lot nicer and more respectful to the British royal dynasty than the English media.” Unfortunately, it was not tempting enough to persuade Prince Edward.
Die Partei (“The Party”) is a satirical political party that was founded in Germany in 2004 headed by Martin Sonneborn, co-publisher of German satirical magazine The Titanic.
The party was named after its founding general-secretary Thomas Hintner and uses the official greeting “Hi Hintner!”
In 2014, Die Partei won a seat in the European Parliament. Initially, the party campaigned for the rebuilding of the demolished Berlin Wall which separate East and West Germany.
The Best Party was an Icelandic political party founded in 2009 by actor and comedian Jon Gnarr. The party was created as a political satire to critique the previous politicians who caused Iceland’s economic meltdown.
It drew its name from Tita Turner’s famous ‘Simply the Best’ song which was also the party’s campaign anthem.
In the 2010 city council election in Reykjavik, the party won six seats out of 15, and Gnarr became mayor of Reykjavik.
Coordinadora Reusenca Independent (aka Cori) is a Catalonian political party that was founded in 2003. The party is based in Reus and was once led by Ariel Santamaria, known for turning up at council meetings dressed as Elvis Presley, the late American king of Rock and Roll.
Cori participated in the municipal elections of 2003 and 2007 and won its first seat on the Reus city council. The party’s philosophy is Juantxism, which in Reus slang, “Juantxi” refers to either an action or a person that is “grotesque or ridiculous.”
Rapaille Partij (aka Scum Party) was a Dutch political party created in Amsterdam in 1921. The goal of this party was to prove that the political system was a joke. Nelis de Gelder, an alcoholic beggar and occasional street performer known as Hadje-me-maar, was the man chosen to represent the Rapaille Partij.
This party’s proposals included lower prices for brandy, bread and butter.
But the election of Had-je-memaar’s to parliament outraged the principal magistrate of Amsterdam approached the Dutch parliament seeking a solution. Fortunately for the magistrate, the parliament had already prepared an emergency law to disqualify Had-je-me-maar from taking his seat on the city council.
However, their action was unnecessary. Had-je-me-maar was caught drunk a couple of days before the election and was unable to take his seat in a timely manner.
As a result, he was disqualified from serving on council, and the Rapaille Partij was dissolved thereafter.
Back to Zambia, the government has received a barrage of disapproval over the decision to print the 2021 ballot papers at the local government printers.
This means the freezing of free flights to Dubai, free food, free accommodation in a FiveStar hotel, free shopping and returning home with containers filled with various goods for resell in Zambia.
All these coming by courtesy of the Electoral Commission of Zambia who, prior to an election, fly party cadres abroad to oversee the printing of ballot papers.
Folks, let us do something and let God help us to successfully migrate opposition political parties to another level in order to democratize further our young democracy.
Disclaimer: Note that this piece is satire based on real life situations and should be treated as such.