PARENTING ADOLESCENTS IN MODERN ZAMBIA
LAST week, we looked at “Adolescents counsel elders” which entailed shared concerns with parents and community leaders to create a protective and supportive environment for good health outcomes. Today, let’s hear what parents have to say.
Grownups are believed to be individuals with adequate understanding about the world around them and experience to deal with some of life’s difficult situations.
Their decision-making process on any life issue generally stems from appreciating the immediate and future risks, and, benefits of such resolutions.
The same cannot be said about adolescents whose foresight may be narrow because the development of their brain is not as advanced as that of adults.
Their lack of life experience and pressure to find their own identity or to fit in a peer group may result in irrational actions with severe consequences.
These can include early sexual debut, drug and alcohol abuse, physical and sexual violence as well as other antisocial behaviours.
In the recent past, I had an opportunity to interact with male and female parents in Lusaka and Kabwe respectively in different places such as the malls, restaurants and lodges to solicit information about measures they could take or pieces of advice they had for other parents to improve their child raising role.
Most parents in Zambia appreciate their role in shaping the environment young people live in, not only to promote good health but also to build good social skills.
However, some parents are concerned about the laxity of their peers in taking their role as guardians seriously. The following were a few recommendations from the interviews to help parents improve their role as their children’s first teacher and life coaches: “No matter how much educated or wealthy you are, impart morals and values in your children such as respect, obedience, responsibility etc.”
“Pick positive elements of foreign cultures and maintain progressive and protective cultural practices.” “Parents and guardians should lead by example in the manner they dress, use alcohol, speech, how they interact with other people etc.”
“It is the parents’ responsibility to set limits on their children’s use of phones; time to be at home; get permission to use other people’s things etc.”
“Create time to interact or to do common activities with children and do not spoil them with expensive gifts (cars, phones and clothes etc.) and money to make up for your absence. Most children are not able to handle these ‘gifts of love’ responsibly.”
“Reprimand or discipline children when they are in the wrong. Do not treat them like your in-laws.” “Monitor how children behave when they return from visiting relatives to identify and correct any unbecoming behaviours”
“Cultivate interactions with extended families so that you can have an opportunity to appreciate your children’s social skills and correct behaviours such as rudeness, hostility, bullying, selfishness etc. Teach children to behave responsibly outside and at home.” “Scrutinise and coach people (maids, relatives etc.) who look after your children when you are away so that they do not have a negative influence on your children’s behaviour.”
“Make an effort to know your children’s friends and their parents.”
“Parents who have the best interest of their children at heart will safeguard them from accessing alcohol and tobacco”
“It is the parents’ responsibility to monitor or counsel their children on what to watch on TV and post and view on social media.” “Parents should train their children in the fear of the Lord so that they depart from evil.”
These sentiments from concerned parents can not only help others improve their parenting styles to shape their children’s day to day behaviour, but also establish a positive trajectory that makes families, communities and the country proud.
When parents invest in nurturing their children, their efforts influence the behaviour and health of their children now, the choices they will make and lifestyle they will lead as adults and how they will nurture their own children in the future.
Parents are indeed a key partner in promoting their children’s health and acceptable social behaviour.
Stay safe and look out for next week’s article. ___________________________
The author is a Senior Health Promotion Officer
Ministry of Health- Headquarters Dept: Health Promotion, Environment and Social Determinants
Health Promotion
+260 953 268090