How do you say: ‘Honey, you stink!’

Chronicle (Zimbabwe) - - Leisure -

I HAD a ren­dezvous for sun­down­ers with an old friend after work some time ago. On that par­tic­u­lar Thurs­day, I’d been busy all day and really hadn’t had the chance to sit down and catch my breath let alone freshen up.

I only wear make-up on spe­cial oc­ca­sions and the rest of the time just make sure my eye­brows are on fleek and my lips are well mois­turised so I didn’t need to pow­der my face.

It was my de­odor­ant I was hop­ing wouldn’t let me down. The clock hit 6PM so I left work and went straight to where we were meet­ing.

Of course I sniffed my armpits a cou­ple of times – for con­trol pur­poses.

But I hon­estly wasn’t sure they smelled fresh enough. Nat­u­rally, you start wor­ry­ing if the next per­son can smell what you smell.

I was a lit­tle late — time keep­ing is not one of my strengths — so I found my friend wait­ing for me.

As I was walk­ing to­wards the spot she was perched at, she stood up to greet me with a hug.

As she did, her first re­mark was, “What fra­grance are you wear­ing, you smell really good.” I was be­yond shocked.

I couldn’t be­lieve it — the plan go­ing to the ren­dezvous was to make sure I kept to my­self and en­sured my un­der­arm odour didn’t dif­fuse too much by keep­ing my arms at ease at all times.

At that mo­ment, I opened up and told her how I was ac­tu­ally wor­ried my armpits were los­ing it a lit­tle bit. She could re­late and said, “Re­lax girl, you’re preach­ing to the choir — you smell great!” I was re­lieved.

Noth­ing sucks like some­one re­al­is­ing you stink and they can’t even tell you. I mean, how do you look some­one in the face and say, “Honey, you stink!” It’s a dif­fi­cult thing to do but some­times use­ful, for them and for your­self.

Imag­ine you’ve got your week­end swag on and are headed to a hot date with your bet­ter half.

He comes to pick you up and leans over for a hug but when he does — all hell breaks loose!

That would be such an anti-cli­max for me — that Ralph Lau­ren shirt over resid­ual sweat.

How about some Hugo Boss or Givenchy? Too ex­pen­sive? Okay, how about Avon, Axe or just plain old Nivea roll-on.

Maybe the other per­son doesn’t even re­alise they don’t smell too good — what do you say to them?

Do you say, “Honey, your armpits don’t smell so nice” or do you buy them toi­letries as a gift?

Of course it’s so much eas­ier if it’s their mouth that smells, you sim­ply of­fer them pep­per­mint sweets or gum and hope they don’t de­cline. By the way, it’s a two way street. Maybe it’s your wo­man whose per­sonal hy­giene is ques­tion­able.

She slays but you feel un­com­fort­able go­ing any­way with her be­cause of her bad odour or smudged lip­stick and scruffily ap­plied foun­da­tion.

There’s no easy way of telling some­one to pull up their socks but I’d say fo­cus on the end game. Ap­pre­ci­ate con­struc­tive crit­i­cism, es­pe­cially when some­one is com­ing from a place of love.

If they buy you toi­letries as a gift, ac­cept them with no ques­tions asked and most im­por­tantly make good use of them.

It goes with­out say­ing — you can’t look fresh and not smell equally good.

Hav­ing your wardrobe game on fleek just isn’t enough; you’ve got to be clean, look clean and smell clean.

You prob­a­bly think I’m crazy but on a real, how many peo­ple have you come across who look good but their im­age is tainted as soon as you smell their breath or armpits?

I know we all think we’re clean and have our per­sonal hy­giene in check but you can never be too sure.

You need to check your­self and don’t leave the next per­son with the dilemma of how to tell you that you don’t smell too good.

Feed­back from “When you de­cide to join the #BeardFaceGang”

Ex­haus­tive piece on the beard but my other thought is a bald head and a beard can be mostly as­so­ci­ated with a busy man, a man on the go with lit­tle time to spare on his “im­age”.

I mean, I can af­ford to spare 30 min­utes a week to look like I do but if I had a Mo­hawk or an­other style; I’d spend hours try­ing to main­tain it.

So I’d say it means a guy who’s busy but still wants to look good, sim­ple to keep and main­tain. – @pablo_the_­god­fa­ther Hey Yolie, great piece on the beard. – Tafie Un­til next week, flaunt your pat­tern and style and don’t for­get to catch up with me on Twit­ter han­dle @Yolis­swa, visit my blog, www.stay­era247.blogspot.com or like my Face­book page Pat­tern & Style.

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