I’m pregnant, now what?

IF you are pregnant, you have three options: abortion, adoption and parenting. Only you can decide what to do, but it can be helpful to talk about it with someone you trust. Take time to think through your options, but the sooner you decide the more options you will have.

What are my options?

If you are pregnant, you have three options — abortion, adoption and parenting.

Abortion

Abortion is illegal and not advisaAdoption ble, unless in cases of rape. People have many different feelings after an abortion: relief, grief, sadness, happiness or all of these at once. And also, it could lead to health complications and sometimes even death.

Adoption

Some women choose to let another family raise their baby. Many women who choose this option feel happy knowing that their child will live in a good, loving home. But others find that the loss and sadness is deeper and lasts longer than they expected.

laws are different in countries, so if you choose this option it is a good idea to do some research and talk with someone at an adoption agency. And find out what rights a birth father has in your country — the law may say that he needs to agree to the adoption, too.

Parenting

Being a parent can be a wonderful experience. A child can bring joy into people’s lives. But, being a teen parent is often very difficult.

Some teens have to drop out of school and change their career plans in order to raise a child. Spending time with a child becomes more important than going out with friends and having fun. Some teens get help from parents and family and some do not. Raising a child without a partner can be even more of a challenge — many teen couples who have a baby do not end up staying together.

When do I need to decide?

It can be tough, but if you are pregnant, you need to decide about continuing with the pregnancy as soon as possible. While you are deciding what to do, take good care of yourself and get prenatal care from a doctor or nurse.

If you think you might have the baby, talk with a doctor about pre-natal care so they can make sure that you are healthy and the pregnancy is normal.

Contact your local planned parenthood health centre for pregnancy testing and to discuss your options.

How do I decide?

It can be tough deciding what to do — and it is a decision only you can make for yourself. You may find it helpful to list the advantages and disadvantages of continuing or ending a pregnancy. Think about what advantages or disadvantages are most important to you.

Talking with someone about your feelings can be helpful too. If you can, it is a really good idea to talk with your parents about it — chances are they care about you and want to help you. You could also talk with another family member, boyfriend, friend, school counsellor, religious advisor or other trusted adults. Choose someone who will listen to you, be supportive, respect your privacy and not try to pressure you into anything. Some things to consider include:

● Which option(s) could I live with and which would be impossible for me?

● Am I ready to become a parent?

● What can I afford financially?

● What are my plans for the future?

● What do I believe is best for me, my family or my future family in the long run?

● How would each option affect my everyday life?

● What would each option mean to the people closest to me?

● What are my spiritual and moral beliefs?

● Am I being pressured to choose one option over another?

How do I tell my parents I am pregnant?

Sometimes parents are shocked or angry and sometimes they are understanding. There is really no way to know how your parents will feel unless you talk with them about it. It might help to find a time when no one is distracted — ask them when a good time to talk is.

Most people worry their parents will freak out, but that is not always what happens. If you can, try to be open, honest, and remind your parents that you trust them and need their help. Your parents might also respond openly and honestly, without getting mad. If your parents do get upset, they may just need some time to calm down.

Even though it probably feels scary, talking with your parents can really help. They can go over your options with you, and make sure you get proper medical care. —