Stop worrying, size doesn’t matter

Send your sms to 0773111328 or 0772115830 or write to Sis Noe, Sunday News, Box 585, Bulawayo. You can also follow Sis Noe on http://sisnoe.blogspot.com

Dear readers Please note that Sis Noe is not a medical doctor but an elderly woman who has almost seen it all. She is a mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and aunt to many people. Those that require medical attention please visit the nearest clinic or hospital. Sis Noe is flattered by your confidence in her. Bombard her with social issues/problems — she will be of much help to you.

JUST about every man would like his penis to be that extra inch or so bigger, but life does not fulfil all our wishes, does it?

Men have always tended to eye each other up enviously when they get the opportunity, but the anxieties have probably got worse now that internet pornography and sex videos are so much more widely available.

The men in those are specially selected just because they are exceptionally large, and so many men get the feeling that is the norm when actually it is abnormal.

That said, though, very few men do have cause for concern because they never developed properly. Statistics for penis size vary, but the latest reliable research is that the greater proportion of penises are usually around 5cm or 2 inches long when soft and range from 11,5cm or 4,6 inches to 15cm — nearly 6 inches when erect, with the average being 13cm or 5,2 inches — about the size of a large tube of toothpaste.

You should not feel too bad if you notice that other men seem much larger than you when you see them in the showers or changing rooms.

For one thing, penises do tend to average out in size when it matters — that is when erect — and you should bear in mind that, when you see other men’s organs, you are seeing them from a different angle — you are looking across at theirs and down at your own, which has a shortening effect.

And don’t forget that your penis is very clever, and shrinks upwards and presses itself close up against the body for warmth and safety when you are anxious or cold — as in that changing room.

You will probably get a more cheering view of your equipment if you try looking at yourself, when you are warm and relaxed at home, in a fulllength mirror, which is how others see you.

Even if you do still worry you are on the small side, it really won’t spoil your love life — or your partner’s satisfaction.

Women in a loving relationship are not as conscious of penis size as men. In fact, too large a penis causes women far more serious concerns than a small one.

When I do hear from men who say women have laughed at the size of their penis, in almost every case it is because they were having casual sex with women who barely knew them, and certainly were not in love with them.

Casual sex is all about judging each other by physique and performance, not intensity of feelings, or even quality of sex. What really makes a good lover is not size below the belt, but how sensitive and sensuous, informed and imaginative you are.

Your hands, mouth and whole body matter as much if not more than your penis, and women get the most exciting sensations, not through the vagina itself, but through the clitoris, which you stimulate with your hands, mouth or groin, not your penis.

If your partner complains of lack of sensation, it may well be that she has a problem, nothing to do with your anatomy.

In which case, I suggest she writes to me and I will help her sort it out.

If it is your loving that is at fault, then it is not that you need to grow an extra inch but that you need to develop more skills and sensitivity as a lover.

The following simple tips can make a big difference in turning you into a good if not great lover:

Choose deep-penetration positions or those where the vagina is “closed off ” a bit. Go for entering from behind, or her on top but leaning backwards — anything which alters the slant of the vagina will make you feel larger to her and increase sensation. In the missionary position, put a pillow under her bottom and suggest she keep her thighs pressed close together with your legs outside hers.

Thrust hard and deep — though check with her before and after to make sure she’s enjoying the sensation.

If you tend to climax quickly, masturbate often. All penises have roughly the same number of nerve endings in the head. If yours is small, this means it’s going to be more sensitive. The more you masturbate the less sensitive you’ll become, and so less liable to suffer from premature ejaculation, especially if you practice controlling your climax while you’re doing it

Go for variety. If you’ve made her orgasm through oral sex, masturbation and given her a wonderful sensual massage, you take the main focus off intercourse, which eases the pressure for both of you. Most women find it difficult to reach orgasm through intercourse alone, so she’ll be happy with the change in emphasis.

If you are still worried, you may wonder about pills, creams and gadgets which are advertised to boost penis size.

Basically, none of them work in any significant and permanent way.

At best you can waste a lot of time and money. At worst, you could even damage yourself.

The vast majority of men are best advised to accept themselves as they are.

Your penis is just one, very human, part of you. Learn to love it.

If you can not accept that, your problems are far more likely to be down to lack of confidence and self-esteem in general than that your penis is too small.

But if you are still anxious, don’t suffer in silence. See your doctor for a check-up.

If you are in your teens it could be you still have some developing to do. If you are not confident the doctor is taking your worries seriously, ask for a referral or go along to your nearest genito-urinary clinic where you can see a specialist.

They can advise you if you are one of the tiny minority who really are extra-small (micro-penis) and for whom treatment might be advisable. This type of surgery is not available in Zimbabwe and it is very expensive. You need to be moneyed to afford it. Let me explain how it is done. There are two main techniques. One involves taking surplus fat from the body and inserting it under the skin of the penis. This has an initial effect but the fat can be reabsorbed, leaving little lasting improvement, or it can harden leaving a lumpy effect.

The other method is cutting the ligament from which the penis is suspended. This can leave hair growing on the first inch or so of the penis, and also make the angle of erection flatter.

I am afraid that, like all surgery, it carries very real risks of complications. Some men who have had surgery to enlarge their penis complain that it did not achieve the desired effect.

If, when you see your doctor, you are reassured that there is nothing wrong physically, then it may be you are focusing all sorts of other worries on to this very symbolic part of your body.

Stop worrying. There is nothing wrong with you.