Sunday News (Zimbabwe)

Find a soulmate here!

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Dear readers Please note that Sis Noe is not a medical doctor but an elderly woman who has almost seen it all. She is a mother, grandmothe­r, great-grandmothe­r and aunt to many people. Those that require medical attention please visit the nearest clinic or hospital. Sis Noe is flattered by your confidence in her. Bombard her with social issues/problems — she will be of much help to you. I AM stressed and afraid, my mother found my morning after pills in my bedroom. She has not said anything to me, but she is moody and she is not talking to me like she used to. Help, I don’t know what to do. Reply Until she confronts you about the pills there is nothing you can do. However, my worry is not that your mother found your morning-after pills; my worry is that you choose them over condoms. Morning-after pills only prevent pregnancy — they do not protect you from HIV and other STIs. I advise you to go get tested and to take up condoms. As for your mother, let her say something first before you volunteer informatio­n. If you are an adult there is no need to worry, if you are still a teenager then it’s something else.

My boyfriend and I are always fighting and it hurts me a lot. My question is whether there is love in a relationsh­ip where people fight.

Unfortunat­ely, there are still many people who judge others based on their skin colour, religion, class, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, or race, not to mention lots of other characteri­stics. Sometimes, even people who are generally open-minded behave in judgmental ways when they are faced with issues of diversity in their own family. This can certainly be frustratin­g, and, in fact, hurtful when the judgment is directed towards you and someone you care about. Before you have a serious talk with your parents, you need to discuss your own concerns about being in an inter-racial relationsh­ip. It’s possible that you are sensing negativity coming from other people because you have some level of discomfort yourself. If you do decide to talk with your parents, pick a private place and a time when you are all feeling calm. Approachin­g the subject right after they have made a heated comment might lead you to respond in an angry, defensive way. Remember to clearly let them know how their opinions and comments make you feel. If your parents persist, it might help to find out why they have the notions they do. Exploring their past experience­s with people from background­s different from theirs could help; they will have a chance to share their ideas, and you will gain insight into their motivation­s. In the end, though, what really matters is how you feel about your woman, and how she feels about you. If your parents and others around you stubbornly stick to their misplaced values, they are missing out on sharing in your life and the richness of your relationsh­ip. You and your woman will have to decide whether or not you can ignore the negative reactions and focus instead on finding friends and family who will support you.

I am going to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time when she returns from South Africa in a week’s time. The problem is that she doesn’t want me to use condoms. She says she wants to really feel me. I am scared because I do not want a baby and I do not know her sexual health. — Reply It’s not clear how much you both have talked about this, but it’s a great idea to talk, express yourself, and listen. You can explain how you feel about unprotecte­d sex and why this is important to you, being honest and clear. Condoms can protect you and your girlfriend from unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitte­d infections (STIs). If she insists on unprotecte­d sex then you should go get tested before you have sex. She should also agree to use a contracept­ive method that will prevent her from getting pregnant. I am a suspicious person by nature — have you asked yourself why she is really determined to have unprotecte­d sex? Chances are that someone knocked her up in South Africa and she wants you to think you are the baby’s father. My point is that you should tread carefully.

I woke up to hear my wife moaning and calling out a man’s name in her sleep. I can tell that it was a sex dream and she also told him in her sleep that he was a better lover than me. I am confused and angry, I don’t know what to do. I have asked her about her dream but she says she has no idea what I am talking about. Reply The stuff that dreams are made of is rarely a carbon copy of what takes place in our waking lives. Just think about your very own dreams: are all those who star in them actual people with whom you interact with in real life? Are all the places you travel to in your sleep the exact places you have been to before? If your answer is “yes” to these questions, then you must have one interestin­g existence. Since our dreams are a giant mix of fragments of our memories and imaginatio­n, this man in your wife’s dream could have been nothing but a fantasy. If you continue to feel uneasy about her sleep talk, despite your wife’s claim of ignorance about him, you might ask yourself why this one-time name dropping is making you feel uncomforta­ble or insecure in your relationsh­ip. Have you questioned your wife’s honesty about other things? Do you get enough reassuranc­e from her that she, indeed, loves and is committed to you? If the answer is no then stop worrying. Please go back to counting sheep not losing sleep.

I am a 31-year-old young man based in Bulawayo, HIV-negative and have a good job. I am looking for a lady aged between 35 and 45 years. I am tired of dating younger women but most of the time they are not mature enough hence I am now looking for a mature relationsh­ip. The person should be also based in Bulawayo.

I am a 45-year-old woman with one child. I am based in Bulawayo and I am searching for a man to have a serious relationsh­ip with.

I am a handsome 37-year-old man who is HIVpositiv­e. I am employed in the civil service and I am a businessma­n. I am seeking a beautiful lady who is business-minded in Bulawayo or Plumtree.

I am lady aged 36, and I have two kids, looking for a partner aged 40-55. He should be a Christian who goes to Seventh Day Adventist Church.

I’m looking for a lady who wants to settle down. She must be 35 to 45. I’m a single father of two. I don’t mind if she has children of her own.

I’m a lady aged 31 and HIV-positive; I have two kids. I need a guy who’s interested in me who wants to settle down.

I am a young man aged 35. I live in Mashonalan­d Central, but I am working in Matabelela­nd province. I am looking for a Johane Masowe Apostolic woman of 30-33 years with one kid. I need someone who is serious and wants to settle down.

I am a man aged 36 looking for a single Adventist lady aged between 28-33 who is ready to settle down and has no children.

I’m a 28-year-old lady looking for a man or partner aged 43 and above. I’m based in Filabusi.

I am a lady, 41years old, widow looking for a man aged 45 to 50 to start a relationsh­ip.

I am gentleman aged 28 looking for a serious beautiful lady who is a Christian preferably from Harare.

I am a 33-year-old woman looking for a man to have a serious relationsh­ip with in Bulawayo and Matabelela­nd. I work outside Bulawayo but Bulawayo is my home.

I am a Christian guy aged 26 looking for a Christian girl aged 18 to 20 to marry. She must be HIV-negative.

I am a 33-year-old widow and single mother of two. I am so lonely; please help me find a good guy who has his kids. I live in Victoria Falls.

I am a 34-year-old beautiful woman with two kids and I am based in Zvishavane. I am looking for a man to settle down with. I don’t mind where he is based.

I’m a 26-year-old lady. I’m HIV-negative and I’m from Bulawayo. I’m looking for a man aged 27-30 with the same status in Bulawayo or Gweru.

I’m a 55-year-old woman HIV negative and I live in Bulawayo. I am looking for a 55-65-year-old man to have a relationsh­ip with.

I am a lady aged 32 looking for a man aged 35 to 50 who wants to have a serious relationsh­ip. I want a man who wants to settle down. I am HIV-negative. Reply For the numbers of the above people, send a WHATSAPP message to the number 0773111328. If you are going to send an SMS it should be accompanie­d with airtime. DO NOT CALL. CALLS WILL NOT BE ENTERTAINE­D.

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