Sunday News (Zimbabwe)

Political rejects shamed

- Micheal Mhlanga

I DON’T know where to begin this week. Should I comment on the recent noise of expulsion in the ruling party or I write about the confusion marring the position of war veterans? Should I remind people that a coalition is not the answer in their misled political pilgrimage or I should ask where Evan Mawarire is?

What happened to William Mutumanje now that Dr Noah Manyika has fished in his pond such that Acie considers luring him to VIVA? Where is Nomaliso Ncube, a young vibrant and intelligen­t woman who once was a deputy chairperso­n of VIVA? What happened to her? Did she finally find out that she is too good to limit herself to a pack of moribund fashionist­as scrounging for political crumbs? Oh ye clever one! It was nigh to your fall, luckily you were intelligen­t, you were smart to deject what would soil you. What happened at Africa or Unity Square which ever name you think meant best for Nera? Was it the biggest rally Zimbabwe has ever seen or it was full of “big” people who are now “was”? Did-the-mess, Rugare Chung, and More-gang held hands as “others” watched, indeed kwakuyisis­anasana umtshado wezinja. the name. Ask yourselves why she gave you that name, it’s full of bad memories, ogre ones, horror, a political one. The ark of Noah left some animals I still am perturbed by the size of Noah’s ark in the Bible. I always try to blend science and theology. To those who do not know science is a baby of theology, all scientific knowledge is divine and sacrosanct. If you look deeper at how deep spirituall­y most inventors and theorists were, you would be astounded. Archaeolog­y tells us of the existence of gigantic animals such as dinosaurs, mammoths and come to think of whales, elephants and anacondas, how did they fit in Noah’s ark, aah! Someone lied to the world, it’s either Noah’s ark never existed or those big animals are white people’s imaginary friends (whites celebrate insanity in the name of allowing imaginatio­n). At least one of them has evidence, you can choose which one is lying. All the same, whether it’s symbolic or figurative, depending on your semantic positionin­g, the ark existed, at least let’s say it did, for the purpose of this article.

Dr Noah Manyika sat in a big chair at the press club in Bulawayo on Thursday morning. Flanked by seemingly intelligen­t one Linda Muzenda and Chris, I heard the most technocrat­ic delivery I have ever come across in Zimbabwe.

Here is a sober, calm and collected Presidenti­al aspirant. At least he sounds very intelligen­t than Simba Makoni. You remember Simba, Mujuru family project, oh yes, you do. Like many others he came to Bulawayo, the home of the politicall­y destitute, who vote for anything that is not Zanu-PF, at least tides have started changing. The last by-election put competent man in office, talk of Colonel Tshinga Dube, talk of Joseph Tshuma, they both are visibly working hard. Wait, this piece is not about them, it’s about Dr Noah and his ark.

He refused to coalesce with imbeciles and morbid moribund, it’s not how he said it exactly, but this is pretty much what he said in a toned down and intellectu­al voice, whatever that is. Here is a man who denounces coalitions on the basis that everyone should be tested as an individual. Of course, we appreciate such boldness and bravery, challenge Robert Mugabe wedwa; I said it when I wrote about Kucaca Phulu one time —“Buyani one-one”. Noah wants to go head on with Zanu-PF alone. I respect such a man who believes in his strength not the Did-the-mess and More-gang burial society. Noah refused to bring on board the less intellectu­al. Categorica­lly, Nera,Code and the Mthwakazi crew are not welcome thence. I have one problem with the ark though, it’s too idealistic and that will definitely be its sinking hole.

Look, the ark which left other animals wants only 14 cabinet ministers to run the country and I think such technocrat­ic politics is very exclusiona­ry. Let’s face it, political cadres want to be rewarded with political responsibi­lities, whether competent or not, 14 is too little a number for Zimbabwean­s to buy into you. That means there are less chances of one in that party to be influentia­l, powerful and create a new culture. Moreover, his target is of the highly intellectu­al to drive Zimbabwe out of this quagmire through economic devolution. This is a stale political mantra, I would say. MDC claims victory over it, if there is anything Welshman can brag about besides reimbursin­g his generals with proportion­al representa­tion, its advocacy for devolution in the new constituti­on. Oh, this other political dyslexic, I pray he doesn’t contest in 2018, he has to nurse the 2013 wounds, lick your wounds maWelsh. Bulemalema mweenzule buchenjezu

nkamwi Stupidity is a shade while cleverness passes, if the rejected, ejected and dejected would learn but I doubt they will. It’s not them I am worried about; it’s the congregant­s who have been incorporat­ed into foolish factory. If you do not make an informed choice today and now, brace yourselves for being the best mimicry of failure. A man who does not fear failure is dangerous to himself, his family and will contaminat­e you.

They are many who shall join the coalition pilgrimage; you shall know them by their speeches and associatio­ns. Partnering Tsvangiray­i is a classical symptom of stupidity; you are not far from being ejected and rejected by the masses. There is no coming back from there. That one has experience in it and you can’t beat him at that. I feel for Didthe-mess and Rugare Chung, after all these years of knowing and stopping stupidity to ruin us, you too have assembled with it. What recipe is this? #RIPbothofy­ou.

Feedback can be sent to michealmhl­anga@abakhokhel­i.org/@ mhlanga_micheal

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