Married but available: Wrong turn!

MARRIED but available! When you hear someone utter these words you definitely know he or she is up to no good. How can you be available when you vowed and tied the knot before a number of people pretending that you had made your final choice?

No matter the problems you are having in a relationship, choosing Married but available (MBA) as a status is a wrong turn. With such a choice, you are likely to find yourself heartbroken or if fortunate, you will survive but disappoint your partner if ever he or she discovers about the illicit affair. Sadly for some, these issues of having extra marital affairs end in a nasty way.

To begin with, the minute you start saying that you are an MBA, know you are sacrificing your happiness and freedom. You are bound to believe that because there are some things amiss in your relationship, maybe when you get a boyfriend or girlfriend (painkiller) all will become complete in your relationship. Do not fool yourself, in fact it will be more strenuous than you have ever imagined.

On a serious note, when you are married how can you be available?

The statement says it all that you are already committed to someone and whoever agrees to such a setup has got problems. In order to fulfil intimacy of marital act; purity, decency and most of all fidelity is highly needed.

If you get emotionally attached to an MBA, chances are that the cheating partner you are dating never intends on divorcing his or her spouse, but is just looking for a good time. She or he will waste your time as in most cases we have seen people who at the end of it all feel as if they were taken advantage of and used as the other party would have been so jealous and banned them from having partners. The day you want to part ways, you then come to terms with reality, but it will be too late.

If you are interested in dating someone who is married then know you are inviting trouble for yourself. In most cases, he or she will never trust you as well because you capable of anything. If you are cheating on your spouse, what will stop you from cheating on him or her as well. You find that there are lot of insecurity issues and every time you have to put extra effort to convince that person your loyalty and love.

These kinds of relationships have to be kept a secret so that you never get caught and therefore all the time you have to meet far from home. Generally it is very disturbing to be always alert when with someone you ‘‘love’’. You can try and hide it for a short time, but as you get madly in love, one way or the other it becomes difficult to hide it and that is when the secret comes out resulting in fights.

Affairs with married people may as well end up being dangerous. If the spouse discovers, they may stalk you and threaten you. Sometimes they can even be dangerous in what are called “murders of passion”.

You will have to deal with the thought of sharing him with someone else. These thoughts can be nerve wrecking. Just imagining him leaving you for the night and having dinner and sleeping with his wife or husband can cause unimaginable heartaches. As humans in our culture, we can share food, clothes but we cannot share a man/woman without feeling terrible about it.

People always come with different excuses on why they cheat and say that they are married but available. Sometimes it may be due to an abusive relationship or one that started when they were too young. Other times maybe the spouse has been ill for a long time with no chance of recovery. Sometimes there will be no real reason why the person has decided to step out on their partner. It is better to part ways with that person at once than cheating on them.

The day your partner will discover your escapades, he or she will be heartbroken and remember pain changes people. You may be forgiven, but it will have some consequences in the relationship. It really hurts to know that you have been replaced and it takes time to trust such a person, that’s if it ever happens. It’s better to fix your marital issues than to make yourself available while still married.

Remember that nothing hurts more than being ignored in a relationship. The day you discover that your partner has someone else in his/her life, it just complicates everything. Just the thought of sharing your better half “kills” the marriage.

You are bound to be ignored at home and that will haunt you and you begin to live in fear as you will be wondering what he or she is planning.

Remember that no relationship is perfect, but love for each other is all that matters. Even when you are tired of all the drama in your relationship, getting hurt and being lied to, having an extra marital relationship is not acceptable. Get real, never say you feel good when in pain because you will always want to cover up. Solve your own issues and never think having someone else will solve your problems, After all the fun with your girlfriend or boyfriend you will always come back home and things will get even worse as you will be concentrating on the other relationship.

Sisters, the minute a man states to you that he is an MBA, just tell him off and make it clear you are not his SEX TOY.

Love does not hurt, anything that hurts you is not love, no matter how perfect it may seem, there is no such thing as a flower that blooms beautifully consistently, without loyalty, without attention, without water, without real love.