He cheats, but I love him!

Send your to 0773111328 or 0772115830 or write to Sis Noe, Sunday News, Box 585, Bulawayo. You can also follow Sis Noe on http://sisnoe. blogspot.com Please note that Sis Noe is not a medical doctor but an elderly woman who has almost seen it all. She is a mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and aunt to many people. Those that require medical attention please visit the nearest clinic or hospital. Sis Noe is flattered by your confidence in her. Bombard her with social issues/problems — she will be of much help to you. WHAT is the best cleaning method for a healthy, clean and fresh vagina? What can I use? — Worried. Reply

Contrary to what you have been told, the vagina does not need you to spend money on cleaning and douching products for it to be clean and fresh. And you certainly do not need scented panty liners and perfumes to keep it fresh.

Vaginas are largely self-cleansing and you interfering with that process can cause problems because you can irritate the vagina, leading to conditions like thrush. If you do have a problem (such as infection) then spraying or washing may mask these, worsen existing symptoms, or delay you seeking treatment. If you have heard someone or read an article telling you that you need to clean out your vagina, you have my permission to ignore them. However, if you have noticed any discharge that is unusual for you; have unexplained bleeding; genital, stomach or bowel pain; or sex is painful then you should seek medical attention to be sure there is no problem that needs treatment. The best way to care for your vagina is to avoid washing it internally, or using any heavily perfumed products inside you. Do not take herbal medicines or insert anything in the vagina, at best do nothing — but at worst could cause irritation or allergic reactions. So you don’t need them either.

Hi Sis Noe

I AM five months pregnant and still having sex with my husband. I want to know when I must stop. I don’t want to hurt my baby. — Curious.

Reply

Most women who are having a normal pregnancy can continue to have sex right up until their water breaks or they go into labour. You won’t hurt the baby by making love. The amniotic sac and the strong muscles of the uterus protect your baby, and the thick mucus plug that seals the cervix helps guard against infection. And while orgasm may cause mild uterine contractions (as can nipple stimulation and the prostaglandins in semen); they are generally temporary and harmless.

There are many reasons why sex during pregnancy can be more enjoyable, even if you are doing it less. There is an increase in vaginal lubrication, the engorgement of the genital area helps some people become orgasmic for the first time or multi-orgasmic, the lack of birth control, or if you have been trying for a while, a return to pleasurable sex as opposed to pro-creational.

There are some circumstances, though, in which you may need to modify your activity or abstain from sex altogether for part or all of your pregnancy. Your midwife or doctor should let you know whether you have any complications that make sex a no, no. If you’re uncertain, ask your practitioner.

Hi Sis Noe

I have been in love with a man who cheats on me a lot but I can’t break up with him. He treats me well, he showers me with gifts but he is a serial cheat. He tells me to be patient with him because he will eventually change.

Reply

I wonder what you want me to say — that, despite everything, this exciting feeling he gives you is worth it — you know it is not. The reason he still makes you feel like this, after all this time, is because you never know where you stand with him. It is a feeling of hope, not a sign of a soul mate. You seem terribly kind, you want to say the right thing, and you want to be fair: but I think you need to start getting angry. Is this man a bad person? Probably not wholly, which is what makes him so attractive: you keep trying to sieve out the good bits, the gold among the silt, but it is not enough, is it? What is clear is that he is not a good partner and he makes a mess wherever he goes. Don’t be the person to clean up after him. Run for the hills while you still can.

Hi Sis Noe

I have been friends with this girl for years and we have dated different people but now I think she wants to be in a relationship with me and her friend has confirmed this. But I am afraid that if we break up our friendship will be dead. — Help.

Reply

When you look back on life, the things you regret the most are the things you haven’t done, rather than the things that you have. If you are attracted to her and she feels the same way, do you want to miss out on the opportunity to have a lovely relationship? Some start with instant sexual attraction, but often the relationships that are more likely to endure begin when you are great friends — as well as being attracted to each other. The friendship helps you to survive the inevitable ups and downs of a relationship. Of course, there is always a risk. When you fall in love, you become vulnerable, but she might turn out to be the girl who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Imagine how you would feel if she started going out with someone else and you realised — too late — what you were missing.