Sunday News (Zimbabwe)

10 signs that you’re in a good relationsh­ip

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WE ALL know that there is no such thing as a perfect relationsh­ip, but there’s nothing stopping us from cultivatin­g the best possible pairing.

Relationsh­ips are complex and sometimes it’s hard to differenti­ate between a healthy and an unhealthy one.

We get caught up in bad habits and love makes it easy to turn a blind eye to the issues in our relationsh­ips.

As a result, we forget some of our core values along the way — values that we aspired to when we imagined what romantic love would feel and look like when we were younger.

It’s important to be reminded of these values so that we can start moving towards them again. It is equally valuable to be reminded of them when we’re in a good space with our partners so that we do not take our partners or our relationsh­ips for granted.

String of Short Relationsh­ips

In this episode of Dating and Breakup Tips, relationsh­ip expert Rachel Russo advises on what to do if you’ve had a string of short relationsh­ips recently.

Here is a list of 10 signs that you’re in a good partnershi­p. These serve as a reminder of the core values that enable our relationsh­ips to thrive.

In healthy partnershi­ps there’s a respect for the individual­ity of the other person.

2. Balance of independen­ce and

closeness:

A relationsh­ip is like two concentric circles that overlap. In a healthy relationsh­ip, parts of the two circles overlap but there’s always a part on either side of the circle that does not overlap.

This is a metaphor for the balance between independen­ce and togetherne­ss. It’s important to have closeness but not intrusion and space but not distance. In healthy partnershi­ps couples are able to find this balance.

Trust is the foundation of all good relationsh­ips. Mutual trust enables you both to have the freedom to be comfortabl­e with who you are and to do the things that make you happy.

It gives you a sense of safety and wellbeing. There is no room for secrets in healthy relationsh­ips.

Supportive relationsh­ips are key to long term sustainabi­lity. Partners need to respect and nurture each other’s ambitions and passions. It is a wonderful feeling to know that your partner supports you in everything you do and wants you to be the best version of yourself.

5. Willingnes­s to be emotionall­y

vulnerable:

There is a sharing of emotion in healthy couples — they can laugh together and they can cry together. Partners need to feel safe enough to be emotionall­y open and vulnerable without feeling weak. You can only truly know someone if they let you in and show you who they are.

6. Willingnes­s to communicat­e: Good communicat­ion leads to problem solving. Many people tend to sweep issues under the carpet to avoid confrontat­ion.

But all the small and big issues that haven’t been confronted compound over time until there is some kind of major confrontat­ion or blow out. Good partnershi­ps involve continuous authentic communicat­ion and a mutual desire to solve problems.

7. Willingnes­s to compromise:

There will be times when you do not agree with your partner and you cannot see eye to eye. If you are able to meet somewhere in the middle and accept your partner’s difference­s, issues tend to be resolved much faster.

It is essential that couples are able to divide and negotiate tasks. Healthy couples are able to discuss who does what.

There can be a fluidity to roles within a relationsh­ip, but it’s important that there is an open discussion about expectatio­ns. Both partners should agree on how the relationsh­ip works on a practical level.

9. Positive reinforcem­ent and recognitio­n: In good relationsh­ips, each partner gives and receives positive reinforcem­ent and recognitio­n. People want to be seen and be appreciate­d, especially within their most intimate relationsh­ips. Even if it’s as simple an acknowledg­ement as, “thank you” or “I really appreciate everything you do”.

10. The ability to be joyful together: What is the point of a relationsh­ip without joy? A healthy partnershi­p should have a fair dose of laughing, light-heartednes­s and fun. — Online

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