Divorce: A veritable psychological landmine

THE topic of divorce would seem to require no introduction. Divorce refers to the often messy and painful end of a marriage. Despite the “for better or for worse’’, divorce is a very common event these days. Almost everyone has been touched by it, either by going through it themselves as a spouse or a child, or knowing someone who has gone through it as a spouse or as a child.

Despite widespread familiarity with the effects of divorce, the details of the divorce process are less well known. In this week’s instalment, we discuss the important concepts and procedures involved in the divorce process with the sincere hope that educating people regarding this information will help minimise pain.

Approximately 50 percent of all marriages - an enormous number! - are ending in divorce. Divorce is frequently born out of marital conflict and proceeds as a knockdown, drag-out fight for possessions, child custody and pride. But modern divorce can also take place amicably, consciously and without a court battle.

Marriage therapy can help conflicted partners to repair their marriage, or, if that is not possible, to separate on as positive terms as is possible. Arbitration is available to help partners successfully divide their possessions without recourse to the courts. The quality of the divorce any given couple will end up experiencing will be deeply influenced by the quality of relationships the partners can maintain with each other, and with professional helpers they work with during the separation process.

Legal process of divorce can be chaotic and emotional as individuals involved come to grips with rather massive life changes as significant and shattering as any family death and which may involve significant grief, anger, sadness and pain.

Divorce is the end of a chapter of life, but not the end of life itself even though it may feel that way. The aim of this discourse is to make it clear that divorce is psychologically draining and in most cases the individual will need psychological support irrespective of gender and leading circumstances. Men try to put a bold face yet there is massive turmoil inside. This in itself is dangerous as individuals are left to themselves and plummet to all kinds psychological and psychiatric problems. These problems range from:

Depression

Insomnia

Alcohol and drug abuse

Prescription drug abuse

Anxiety

Suicide

Homicide The take home message is divorce always comes with psychological pain and scars. It if beneficial to anyone going through it to have professional help because mismanagement of the aspect of self will have a detrimental effect in the future not forgetting the children especially if they are still under the age of 18 years.

Dr Sacrifice Chirisa is a passionate mental health specialist at the Parirenyatwa Group of Hospitals, one of the major referral hospitals in the country.