Understanding shyness
SHYNESS is the awkwardness or apprehension people feel when approaching or being approached by other people. Unlike introverts, who feel energised by time alone, shy people often desperately want to connect with others, but don’t know how or can’t tolerate the anxiety that comes with human interaction.
The shy often experience low self-esteem, fear of rejection, or acute self-consciousness, which can prevent them from developing new relationships if they are perpetually turning inward to inspect their own behaviour and perceived shortcomings.
Self-reporting screening tests like the Cheek and Buss shyness scale shows between 40 and 50 percent adults are shy.
There are four main categories of shyness and these are discussed below:
1. Shy-secure people: They have some social anxiety but do not need a lot of interaction and don’t stress about it.
“When they were put in the psych lab and asked to converse with a new acquaintance, they were very low key. These will socialise eventually, but without energy.”
2. Shy-withdrawn people: This group of people is more anxious about affiliating with others.
They seem to have a lot of sensitivity to rejection, fear of negative evaluation, concern about becoming embarrassed. Shy-withdrawn people tend to struggle more than the shy-secure because in our society, they must frequently do that which makes them anxious. These shy types also might get lonely.
3. Shy-dependent people: This subtype wants so much to be around others and end up overly accommodating, compliant, and self-effacing.
They are affiliative; they go along to get along.
4. Shy-conflicted people: These people have a high need for affiliation, but are also anxious about it.
They have a conflict between withdrawing and seeking autonomy versus moving towards others.
They vacillate and tend to have anticipatory anxiety.
These type of persons’ tend to, among all shy people, have the most problems.
The hope of this is to help you the reader to understand your self and those around you.
This will help you not to judge people with out understanding their psychological make up.