Men must be central in GBV awareness, too
I can live alone, if self-respect and circumstances require me so to do. I need not sell my soul to buy bliss. I have an inward treasure born with me, which can keep me alive if all extraneous delights should be withheld, or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give.”
The above quote is from one of Charlotte Bronte’s revered classical books, Jane Eyre.
Written nearly 200 years ago, the main character in the book Jane Eyre was one of the first literary heroines to command recognition of feminine fortitude, desire and wit.
Eyre was a heroine ahead of her time. Her story is showered with nuggets of wisdom that are just as relevant today as they were moons ago when the book hit the market during the Victorian Age.
During the Victorian Age, repression of women was quite predominant, but Eyre refused to stick to the norm and could not even marry Mr Rochester a possible suitor — who could have offered her a home, the riches and the love she so yearned for
roughout the narrative, she was convinced that “she needed not sell her soul to buy bliss,” after it turned that Mr Rochester who intended to make her his “wife” was already married to a violently insane first wife, Bertha Mason.
The quote from Eyre must have been at the back of Olinda Chapel’s mind when she resolved to divorce erstwhile husband Tytan, whose real name is Njabulo Nkomo.
Despite the hullabaloo that characterised her marriage to the young crooner, subsequently followed by accusations of infidelity and gender-based violence, Olinda decided to call it quits.
She was probably inspired by Eyre’s poignant wish: “I can live alone, if self-respect, and circumstances require me so to do”.
Her relationship with Tytan was dramatic, characterised by counter-accusations, acts of violence and unending public outbursts.
Such a roller-coaster life was not sustainable.
The cyber bullying that Olinda endured from all corners of the world, could have also informed her decision to file for divorce.
When Olinda was penning off her marriage, elsewhere Mr Benson Nhekairo was battling for his life after his wife Mrs Angela Nhekairo allegedly scalded him with cooking oil
According to our sister paper, H-Metro, the two had marital problems, which could have led to the unfortunate incident.
Both Olinda and Mr Nhekairo present two scenarios that give an insight into gender-based violence, contrary to the previously held notion that only men were major perpetrators of all forms of abuse.
While it might prove difficult to ascertain who among them, could have been perpetuating gender-based violence, it is critical to look at the divergent decisions they took as solutions to the same problem.
Gender- based violence has become the bane of our society. At any given time, either of the sex is being brutalised by their intimate partners.
Statistics released by the Zimbabwe Republic Police ( ZRP), in conjunction with the Ministry of Women Affairs, Community, Small
. and Medium Enterprises Development on Monday this week, points to a surge in reported cases, where 4 118 women were victims of gender-based violence (GBV) perpetrated by men .in the last quarter of 2019.
According to the Secretary for Women’s Affairs, Mr Melusi Matshiya, a total of 1 105 women were also raped within the same period last year.
Indications show that a large number of people in intimate relationships are failing to resolve their differences amicably, resulting in use of violence, often leading to death.
Several other women and men in intimate relationships have over the years lost their lives in similar ways that could have been avoided had they sought help from family and friends or make bold decisions to end the unions.
While some of the people who were killed were as a result of onceoff scuffles that turned brutal and resulted in one or both parties reacting violently, most of the people who were killed had long-standing disputes.
They were in toxic relationships which had all the tell-tale signs of abuse.
Some of the victims knew that their violent relationships would one day turn tragic, but they kept hoping that things would change.
Many will remember how soon after the shooting of South African model Reeva Steenkamp by athlete Oscar Pistorious in 2013, her friends started coming out in the open, saying the two had an unusual relationship that was characterised by bouts of violence.
Reeva probably knew that the relationship would one day turn brutal, but she kept on hoping that her lover would change.
For Zimbabwe, it is sad that the existing glut of legislative pieces that have been crafted in the last five years have not resulted in a decline in gender-based violence.
In addition to the legislative pieces, several individuals continue to front the war against gender-based violence, endless lobbying actively participate in national and international events.
However, their efforts have not yielded much.
They probably feel deflated by the escalating figures of gender-based violence that cuts across sexes.
Without taking anything away from the existing legislative pieces, there is now need for a paradigm shift to include men when programming around gender-based violence.
It is probably because of the tendency to view gender as synonymous with femininity and the issue of gender-based violence as a women’s problem that men have been left off the hook when they should be active in the campaigns.
Messages on gender-based violence come up strongly supporting women and are usually aimed at helping women change their circumstances when men should also be active participants.
But reality on the ground show that a good number of men have disproportionately been affected by gender-based violence, and need to be protected from violent and abusive women.
The nation now calls on men to become the game changers by coming out strongly against gender-based violence to ensure a violent free society.
Being custodians of leadership — either by design of default — they are in positions of power and influence to put an end to gender-based violence.
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