The importance of family support
In our last column, I mentioned the role family plays in the happiness of the new year.
The importance of true love and care at family level cannot be overemphasised.
Family takes the brunt of the worst season of our lives therefore true family values must be passed on from one generation to the other. At the same time, utmost attention must be paid in the preservation of family relationships based on several reasons. Below are three out of the eight important steps we must take to maintain a cordial family relationship this year. The other five steps will be explained in our next week’s column.
Learn to visit your family
Different circumstances like distance and hardship normally play an active role in stopping people from going back to visit family until sickness or death forces them to do so. Money spent on funerals are most of the time much more than what was required to maintain a comfortable life for a family member when they were still alive.
We should never forget where we come from, and the sacrifi ces made for us to attain certain levels of success. Going overseas or living in big cities should not interfere with the bond established in the foundation of most African families.
We should never allow pride and arrogance to hinder us from going back home without riches because family is the only place people will love you with no conditions attached.
Parents who exercise favouritism among their children based on levels of success missed the memo of what true parenting should be all about.
Do not forget that when you are successful, the whole world will celebrate with you.
But when you fail, it is only your family that will be there. When you have food in your hands, the whole world will come to eat. If it is an injury, it is mostly your family that will try to heal it.
Whether one lives local or in the diaspora, making a timetable for calls and family visits is essential in maintaining a cordial relationship with your family.
When one is in a high or public office, the whole world will seek to meet them. If it is the mortuary, mostly family will come around. There is a tendency to go to other people’s parties to enjoy and celebrate with them but when occasions like birthday or worthy achievements are due to family members, we tend to trivialise them.
There are wives who cannot remember the last time their husbands celebrated their birthday. And there are husbands who have given up on expecting any kind of celebration from their wives, yet these spouses attend other people’s celebrations without feeling any remorse.
Remember that nobody else will celebrate your spouse, children, parents and siblings but you. The fact that God made some people to share the same DNA makes it their responsibility to celebrate those who are closely related to them.
Celebration costs money, yes, but through planning and savings, an acceptable level of celebration will be affordable. You do not have to break the bank to hold a birthday party because celebrations should not be limited to parties.
Gifts, visits, words of affirmation, public commendations and a simple dinner of just a few people are possible ways of celebrating our loved ones.
Value your family
The value you place on your family will determine how and what you do in times of need. When one has spent one year at a specifi c job or offi ce, there are high chances of public commemoration. If it is one year in the cemetery, it is mostly family that will show up to cherish and memorialise. How easy it is for some people to go out of their way for friends and yet cannot replicate such efforts for families.
Our friendships are important but not more important than families. There are members of our families with questionable characters who make it diffi cult to relate with them.
Show them your love and care from a distance and continue to pray for them.
Parents sacrifice a lot for the betterment of the future of their children but some children grow up and forget. The value you place on your family is proved by the way you show your appreciation. Many are fi nancing opulence for lovers while their parents are suffering.
Like the bible says, “Honour your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honour your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth” [Ephesians 6:2-3, NLT]. Honouring our parents is one of the commandments with a promise of wellbeing, prosperity and longevity.
Obedience to this single commandment of kindness and appreciation will bring blessings upon your life that most people are spending time on mountains trying to achieve through prayers.
It is possible that what most people are blaming demons or witchcraft for are consequences of family neglect. No matter how poor, rich and successful we become, we should never forget our parents and siblings.
Dr Nick Ohizu is the senior pastor of the Empowerment Ministries and the President of the Empowerment School of Wealth both located in Graniteside Harare. He is a successful entrepreneur with vast experience in leadership, mentorship, business and marriage consultancy with a mandate from God to change lives and bless people. Feedback: call 0772304917.