Controlling temper, anger as a Christian
WHEN you are angry, do you blow up, clam up?
What guidance do the scriptures give to control wrath?
“Be Angry and Sin Not.”
Anger and loss of temper are problems that all people face at times. With some, the problems are habitual. Is it always sinful to be angry?
What does the Bible say about anger, wrath, blowing up, and clamming up? Should we vent our feelings to “get it out of our system”? Can we control our tempers? What guidance does God’s word give in overcoming the temptations of anger?
All of us have problems controlling our temper at times. Let us consider what the Bible says.
Bible examples of acceptable anger
Some people assume that Christians should never show signs of a temper. If a Christian raises his voice or becomes visibly upset, some people think or act as though he violated his duty as a Christian.
God is angry with sin
Psalm 7:11 – Because he is a just God, God is angry with sinners every day. Surely God’s anger is not wrong. It is proper, for it is even based on his justice.
God is angry when people commit sin. He will punish sinners in wrath. If God is infinitely righteous yet is often angry, why should we conclude that people are always wrong when they are angry?
Moses was angry with sin
The Bible says Moses was meeker than anyone else on earth (Num. 12:3), yet several times he acted and spoke in great anger.
Exodus 32:19-24 – While Moses was on Mt Sinai receiving the law, Israel worshipped a golden calf. When he saw this, “Moses’ anger became hot”, so much so that other people could see that he was angry. He spoke and he punished the people in anger.
Jesus was angry with sin.
Mark 3:5 – When Jews condemned Jesus for healing on the Sabbath, he looked on them in anger, being grieved at their hardness of heart. Jesus became angry and spoke in anger, even when teaching. Did he sin (Hebrews 4:15)?
Not everyone who is angry has automatically done wrong. Some anger is justified. But note that every case listed above involves being angry at sin. Sin ought to anger Christians, but we must control our response.
The danger of anger
James 1:19,20 - Be slow to wrath, because the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Again, not all anger is forbidden. It does not say to never be angry but to be slow to anger. The problem with anger is what it “produces” or leads to.
Proverbs 14:17 - A quick-tempered man acts foolishly. Not all anger is sinful, but we must take care lest we “fly off the handle,” lose control, and act wrongly. [Prov. 29:22]
Anger can cause us to sin in two different ways:
Anger can cause us to “blow up.” Some psychologists encourage people to “vent” their anger. If husbands or wives become angry, they are supposed to say whatever they think, because it “gets it out of the system” or “releases tension.” They tell us to allow even little children to throw tantrums, scream, and call parents nasty names.
Proverbs 29:11,20
A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back. Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
The problem with anger is that it may lead us to lose control of our conduct and lash out at others with foolish words or deeds that are intended to hurt others and may be regretted later. By contrast, a wise man will control himself, even when he is angry.
The Bible teaches that our words and deeds are controlled by our thoughts. We must learn to control our thoughts and emotions, because harbouring sinful thoughts will lead to sinful conduct.
Anger is sinful when it leads us to lose control so that, instead of being helpful to others, we become abusive, saying evil or hateful things intended to hurt them. Or we may simply not care about how we affect them. [Col. 3:8; 2 Cor. 12:20]
Genesis 4:4-8
Cain is an example. When God rejected Cain’s offering but accepted Abel’s, Cain became angry and killed Abel.
Cain’s anger was wrong, first because Abel had done nothing wrong. Anger at sin may be justified, but Cain was angry at someone who was righteous. Cain was the one who did wrong and was upset because God did not accept his conduct. Second, his anger was wrong because it led him to harm his brother.
Anger can cause us to “clam up.”
Ephesians 4:31,32 - Anger and wrath should be “put away” from us, along with bitterness and malice. But instead of putting away their anger, some people just put it inside: they let it build up bitterness and grudges. They may not say anything, but their hearts are full of malice and a desire to hurt others.
Clamming up often leads to blowing up!
The pressure builds till finally we lash out with cruelty and malice. When we learn to deal with anger properly, we can avoid both clamming up and blowing up.
Note that both kinds of anger tend to become habit. We practice them so often that they become ingrained in our character and very difficult to overcome.
Ability to control anger
Anger can be controlled. Jesus was angry at times and was tempted in all points like we are, but he did not sin (Heb. 4:15). He controlled his anger, and we can control ours. The examples of Moses and others who were angry without sinning show that anger can be controlled. God commands us to control our anger. Proverbs 16:32; 25:28 - He who is slow to anger and rules his spirit is better than one who captures a city. You can restrain your spirit, and God commands you to do so.
1 Corinthians 10:13 – We do not face any temptation that is beyond our ability to handle, including the temptation to lose our temper. God will make a way of escape.
There is never an excuse for disobeying God. To say we cannot control our temper is to say God is not faithful. What we need to do is to look for the way of escape.
We can control our temper
All of us do control our tempers, when it is important enough to do so.
Consider a mother who has a terrible day. The kids fight, supper burns, she breaks her favourite bowl, kids track mud on her clean floor. So she explodes, screams at the kids and threatens them. Then the phone rings and it is her husband’s boss. Suddenly she is quite capable of carrying on a polite conversation.
We can control our anger, when we really want to. If we can control our temper for the sake of other people, why not do it for God? God sees everything we do. Is God important enough to control our anger for? – Gospelway.com