Dealing with the stress of exam results
AS discussed in previous articles, mental health is defined as a state of well-being in which an individual realises his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a meaningful contribution to their community.
As exam results have started coming through, many young people and their families may be experiencing some stress, particularly if exam results were not as good as expected.
Why are exam results so stressful?
Internal pressure in a young person to perform well
High achievers and highly driven young people may put immense pressure on themselves to be the best and achieve extremely high grades. This can result in excessive stress which can affect their mental well-being, particularly if they get results lower than they aimed for.
External pressure Expectations from parents, caregivers and teachers who would have invested in a young person can be overwhelming. Sometimes as parents and caregivers we may even project our own hopes and dreams not fulfilled in our lives on our children and pushing them to achieve what we failed to.
Financial stress
For many families, critical exams may be costly and there may be limited funds for repeat exams, this can stress both young people and their families. Competition and comparison
If we are highly competitive and constantly compare ourselves and our achievements to others, we may become stressed if we feel we are failing to keep up with others or outperform others. Sometimes we have performed very well but the joy of that victory is diminished because we compare ourselves and feel others did better than us.
Previous failure trauma
Previous failure can affect our self-esteem and put us under greater pressure to pass.
How does stress from exam results affect our mental health?
When we receive our exam results we may experience:
◆ Restlessness, anxiety and worry about
the future even if one has passed
◆ Poor sleep
◆ Irritability and anger
◆ ◆
Difficulty concentrating and focusing Feeling helpless and hopeless particularly if one feels they underperformed
◆ Low self-esteem and feeling worthless
I failed my exams, how do I cope?
◆ Acknowledge your feelings of disappointment and discouragement, find someone you trust to talk to, do not bottle up your feelings, be honest, open and authentic. Do not pretend that the result has not affected you.
Be kind to yourself, watch your self-talk. Denigrating yourself will not change the situation and may further damage your self-esteem and sense of self-worth. You are not defined by your exam result; you remain a valuable human being even if you failed your exams. Maintain a positive perspective, remember you still have your whole life ahead of you and one failure does not need to define the outcome of your life. Avoid comparing yourself with others. We are all running our own race in life.
Focus on how you can work to recover from this set back. Rather compare yourself to yourself; work on being in a better place by this time next year.
◆ Take responsibility on your part on the failure, reflect on what could have gone wrong, seek advice and help on planning practical next steps.
How can parents and caregivers better support young people after an exam failure?
◆ Be supportive and encouraging, avoid saying I told you so. Once the failure has occurred, yelling, shouting and saying I told you so will not change the situation. Find someone to talk to if you feel frustrated, disappointed or angry and avoid taking it out on the young person who is probably emotionally vulnerable in the aftermath of a bad exam result.
◆ Remember your child’s value is in who they are not in what they achieve, do not define the value of your child based on an exam result. While we all want the best for our children, attaching your approval and sense of value for them only to their successes can be detrimental to their mental wellbeing.
Be calm, remain hopeful and help guide the young person on a positive way forward.
Hope is mentally protective and helping a young person reassess and re-plan a way forward can help them in their recovery from a failed exam.
If you think that you or a young person that you know may be experiencing a mental health problem linked to a failed exam, please contact your nearest health care provider and get help.
Association of Health Care Funders of Zimbabwe (AHFoZ) article written by Dr Chido Rwafa Madzvamutse. Feedback: Dr Chido Rwafa Madzvamutse +263777727332) (www.ahfoz.org ; ahfoz@ahfoz.co.zw)