Waiting for and dealing with exam results

THE past weeks have been emotional for many people. Examination results were released.

Some were just content to receive the results. Others were surprised by the results; they had not expected the outcome they got.

The surprise could be that the results showed an improvement from what they had anticipated. Or it could be the opposite that the results were worse than they had prepared themselves for. Difficult time for candidates and their families.

Whatever the results, there is need to plan for the next step.

Emotional as it can be, it is a process that has to be done nevertheless.

In some cases, a child has passed, but refuses to go back to the school he/she did their Ordinary Level.

For Advanced Level they may want to go to a totally new school.

One child told their parents that they were interested in new beginnings!

Some children will have bid farewell not only to the level that they were doing but the school as well, vowing that they would not return to learn there.

They can later return to visit those who will have returned. Or a child has passed, but refuses to proceed with their education for now, they want to take a gap year.

Now if the parent is from my generation, he or she maybe clueless in terms of what a gap year is and what the child just wants to achieve.

Thankful there is Google these days, the parents and guardians can seek more information on the internet.

Our adolescent children have turned us into unpaid researchers!

If parents were paid for each time they went on Google to ask adolescent issues, they would have lots of money.

Understanding that these young children were literally born into the internet age can help us the BBTs (born before technology) when children revert to technology for everything.

These are children who know that results are accessed online. While some of us had to embark on `long walks to freedom` to get our examination results, these children only need to download from a portal and share a screen shot.

So much has changed. The same children will only share the results when they are ready by which time the anxious parent or guardian is eager to know how the child fared for planning purposes.

Pastor and motivational speaker Saustin Mfune was right when he said “parenting is not for the faint hearted”.

Those of you who are parents or guardians responsible for one or more children will be able to relate the number of times it felt like the heart was not there just because of being shocked by what the child had done or not done.

Hugs to such parents and guardians, the fact that you are reading this means that your heart is still functional.

Hugs too to the parents and children who do not have `good` results.

Shake of the dust when you are ready and slowly get up so that you may go forward.

Draw lessons from the past. Focus on the future. Take a lesson from how cars are designed.

The windscreen which focuses on the front is the biggest transparent glass on any car.

The lesson is that though there are mirrors that provide information regarding what is happening at the back and on the sides, these are smaller but the windscreen is the biggest, focus on the future that you still have power to change.

I was discussing with my colleagues our experiences when we collected our Ordinary Level results.

Initially one colleague had argued that life was now easy for children as they can access their results online as compared to some of us who had to go to the schools not even aware of the results.

Then she thought of internet challenges that can be experienced when one attempts to download the results.

Now, with social media, while a young person is struggling with downloading their results, already the social media can be awash with congratulatory messages only adding to the anxiety and the pressure.

What if on the day results are announced and one does not have data to access them?

We just reached the conclusion that results of any kind make most people anxious.

I remember a long time ago, it used to take up to three days for one to get their HIV test results.

Now results are ready and available in minutes. So you can imagine taking three days for one to know his or her status. Not easy I tell you.

When waiting the time is so long. It is like waiting for a whole month when one has just waited for days.

One confessed that she had gone for an HIV test at the instigation of a friend.

I confess that too. I was not really ready the first time, but I did not want my friend to think that I just did not have the guts.

I was to learn many years later that any test requires preparing psychologically.

I experienced headaches and nightmares as I waited for my results.

I had gone for the test on a Friday and had been told that I could collect my results on a Tuesday. I even had nightmares in which people I did not know ran off with my results or I would faint as I was handed my results.

I vividly remember a nightmare in which my HIV results were made public but in all instances I did not get to hear the results as I would have passed out.

Another confessed that she had sores develop around her mouth and the menstrual cycle gave in and she went on her menstrual period as she waited for the HIV results.

As you deal with whatever results you have received. Go easy on yourself.