When female students choose to pursue marriage
WOULDN’T it be extremely difficult to be married while you are still at college? You all have the answers to this question, but a special set of problems and difficulties might arise if you become pregnant while in college.
Of course, students should do what’s right for them, but sadly most of them are breaking the cardinal rule for ambitions.
Lady Gaga said, “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you are wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”
The songstress who is loved by today’s generation made it clear that whatever you do is by choice.
Like always, I do not travel to space or Mars by night to get what I write here, but I write what I experience.
This week I bring you something that has sunk many female students and a few days ago, I had a long conversation with some of them.
They shared a lot about this week’s subject and I outlined it as it is. Our colleagues are becoming housewives at a time when they should be finishing their degrees.
It’s the same time that the parents will be expecting to get some proceeds once their children get some jobs but ironically, they are ending up looking after their grandchildren. Marriage is a significant life decision that should be made thoughtfully and with consideration of both partners’ readiness for commitment.
But most students are getting married before they even make some proper decisions.
Marriage is supposed to be a capstone to a successful life, signalling you have arrived professionally and personally as an individual, not a cornerstone designed to launch your common life together as a family. At times I get perplexed about what some students do but I end up telling myself, whose business is it anyway.
Fellow students, most ambitious students have lost it once they get pregnant and they certainly drop from their fight for academic emancipation.
As always, transitioning from high school to the university is a major life change and requires hard work and discipline, usually much more than most students are used to, at least if you want to graduate with a decent grade point average, as I am sure both of you do.
Marriage is an enormous life change, and the early years are especially challenging, often beyond anything we have experienced up to that point in our lives.
Jumping into marriage and college at the same time would require heroic levels of maturity and selflessness, not typically found among 18-year-olds, at least not any I knew when I was 18.
It can be difficult to balance the responsibilities of assignments with the physical changes and emotional strain of pregnancy and as a result, quitting becomes the only option.
Most female students who find themselves in such a situation have either dropped out of college or committed suicide as it will be difficult to explain the situation to their families. Several others have terminated their pregnancies in the process and it takes them backward.
Fellow students, if not ready, don’t get married before you finish college.
Once you get pregnant as a student, societal pressures and stigmatisation surrounding unplanned pregnancies, can contribute to the pain felt by individuals in such situations. Most marriages devalue female students’ ambitions when societal norms prioritise early marriage over education for girls.
In many cultures, early marriage, defined as marriage before the age of 18, is prevalent and often leads to the cessation of girls’ education.
This practice hinders girls from fully realising their academic potential and pursuing their ambitions. Despite recognising the benefits of education, including increased self-efficacy and life skills, girls face challenges in continuing their schooling due to pressures to marry early.
Getting pregnant is not a crime but it should be done at the appropriate time, in the right place with the right people. If you are still a student, stay away from such activities which make you regret.
Fellow students, earning a degree is essential to providing your children with the best future possible. Marriage can have a significant impact on female students, affecting various aspects of their lives including education, career prospects, and personal development.
The decision to get married while pursuing education can lead to challenges and obstacles that may hinder academic success and overall well-being.
Young individuals who marry before completing their education may have limited life experience and maturity compared to those who wait until later in life.
This lack of experience can make it harder to navigate the complexities of a marriage and handle the responsibilities that come with it.
However, some girls demonstrate resilience by valuing education and receiving support from parents to stay in school and delay marriage.
There may be societal expectations or judgments associated with getting married at a young age, especially before completing one’s education.
Individuals undergo significant personal growth and development during their college years and getting married before fully exploring one’s personal goals, interests, and values can potentially limit individual growth and self-discovery.
A disadvantage of marrying young is you may get into your twenties or thirties and begin thinking that maybe you missed out on some of what life offers because you were married.
You may get an urge to feel what it’s like to be single again.
All these beautiful people around you and you have limited yourself to one person.
Unless you can work through those feelings and thoughts your marriage may not survive.
There will be times when you may wonder what you have gotten yourself into.
The urge to run away can be strong. If you decide to go the marriage way, chances that you will come back stronger for another dance with college may be slim. Until we meet for a toast! ◆ Feedback: nyangu.latwell27@gmail.com