I still love my ex-girlfriend

From My Heart is a platform created for you to share your issues and get practical assistance. Together we can create brighter lives and happier people, transforming mindsets one day at a time. Send your heart to heart message to Tete Barbara and read her responses. Dear Tete

I recently started seeing someone new after getting out of a lengthy relationship. This guy is perfect. He is everything I have been looking for in a relationship. A few nights ago, things started getting a little hot and heavy and we ended up in his bedroom. The tension between the two of us was huge. Things were moving pretty fast. I had been anticipating this moment for so long until I saw what I was working with: an extremely small “shoe”. I haven’t had many sexual partners, but I know when a shoe is small. This situation was totally new to me. I have never faked an orgasm like that in my life. Now, I am terrified and afraid to get married to him. How do I handle his small member without ruining our future together?

Tete Responds:

Size isn’t everything. For some people, it may be a non-issue. You need to communicate with your partner physically and verbally. Touch is an integral part of a union. It is important for you and your partner to seek professional counselling together. Do not lose hope. As long as you love him, there is no reason for you to break up. Perhaps your partner also needs separate counselling to help him understand how he can effectively participate in your union. There are certain positions that make things easier.

All the best Tete Responds:

I know a lot of plus size girls who are confident, beautiful and outgoing. Understand and embrace your body. Surround yourself with people who boost your moral and people who will tell you what looks good on you. If a man really loves you, he will not care about your size. Men can tell when you lack self confidence, so the next time you go out, make sure you are full of energy and out to play the game. You can also find a diet and exercise plan that works for you, just to make you feel extra good. All the same, enjoy yourself, enjoy life and be the happy person that you are.

Enjoy life. Dear Tete

I had been dating this girl for two years, but last year she relocated to South Africa where her parents are now based. We did the long distance thing for a few months, but broke up in December when I visited. It has been four months since the breakup, and I am still not over her.

We stayed in touch when I first returned to Zimbabwe, but she wanted some space and we haven’t spoken since. I want to visit her next month to try and reconnect, but I don’t know if she feels the same way. What should I do? Should I just move on? Do you think we can still work things out?

Tete Responds:

There is nothing like heartbreak. It can be overwhelming to imagine so much physical pain without a physiological reason why . . . It is agony. And I’m sorry you are in it.

In reality, the best thing to do would be to try to move on. But the fact is, sometimes we need a little more before we are ready to let something go.

There is a delicate balance to asking an ex for more—whether it is more information, more attention, more love . . . It is hard to do without coming off as pathetic or overwhelming to her. And yet if there is a suspicion that she may feel the same way, it is worth it.

Make a plan to call her when you are going. See a great movie with friends and then call her when you are happy. Visiting her may not be the best thing to do considering that she has been asking for space. However, if you feel it is worth it then go for it.

All the best