Be a healthy father: Maintain healthy psychological well-being

JUNE 18 was Father’s Day and I hope it went on well for many. In this article, I have thought of exploring issues of mental health that pertain to fathers.

Fathers, like any human being experience the effects of poor mental health that may come from being overwhelmed by life challenges. There are all sorts of reasons why men suffer mental health problems. The increased pressures of fatherhood, more financial responsibility, changes in relationships and lifestyle, combined with a lack of sleep and an increased workload at home and work, may all affect fathers’ mental wellbeing.

One father said: “At work, I have a new boss who is driving me totally crazy. He is micromanaging everything I do and making work hard for me.

The money I am getting is not enough, banks are giving us only $50 and this is too little to meet all the family needs. At home, where I need to rest and relax, I go there and it is all demands from children’s schools. I do not know what to do, I am really stressed out. This is the reason why I spend time at the bar, maybe I may forget these problems.” These and many others are some of the comments I have been hearing from fathers. Many fathers are going through hard times, juggling home and work. I am, however, grateful for those who have been brave enough to come and sit down with professional mental health professionals and share their experiences. That is what is encouraged.

It is, however, unfortunate that so many fathers find themselves in situations like this where the stress builds and builds until there is a breakdown. Stress meltdowns can take many forms - headaches, explosions of anger, depression, abusive behaviour and discouragement, sleeplessness, suicidal or just living with emotional pain. Unfortunately, eliminating stress in everyday life is not possible. But it is possible for fathers to manage the stresses that they experience and mitigate them so that the stressors’ impact on their lives is minimized.

The following are part of better ways of handling stress

1) Make time to talk. - Share your feelings with people you trust. This could be your family or friends, a health professional or a counsellor. Dads sometimes feel uncomfortable about opening up about their feelings, but you are encouraged to do so and seek the support you need.

2) Make family time - So often, stress at home is the result of failed communications. So make sure you talk with your spouse and your family regularly. Plan a weekly whole family time so you can share experiences and address problems. Research has shown that strong marriages set aside 30 minutes each night after children are in bed for mom and dad to talk together .

3) Participate in a favourite hobby that makes you a better man, husband, and father. Getting drunk and high or aimless woman relationships are not as good as working in your yard if you have one, spending time with your family and exercising.

Participate in spiritual activities at your church, join choir and other activities

4) Learn to say no - many of the stress factors in families come from over-programming our time and lives. A good way to moderate the stresses that come from too much to do is to say no to the unimportant. ◆ Dr Mazvita Machinga is a qualified psychotherapist based in Mutare. For more information ,help, counseling and psychological support call 0778 83 84 10 / 0117 754 519 email pccsmanicaland@gmail.com