Madly in love with cheating wife *** Hie Dateline, I am an HIV positive woman with one child aged seven. I am only interested in someone who is very serious about settling down. Please contact me on — 0771178789. *** Hie Dateline, I am a guy aged 27, lo

DEAR DEIDRE: I STILL love my wife even though she cheats.

WE have been together for 20 years. She’s 40 and I’m 43. We have a lovely house and no money worries.

She had an affair three years ago. I confronted her when I saw a text from her lover and she admitted it. The bloke’s wife then contacted me, offering me sex in revenge for what they’d done to us but I turned her down. My daughter then caught my wife texting another guy. I blew up at her but then forgave her and we even renewed our wedding vows. My wife has now moved out and rents a cheap flat in town but she still wants sex with me. I’ve told her she needs counselling. Do I take her back?

DEIDRE SAYS: Having sex with you makes her feel desirable but she doesn’t sound any more committed to your marriage or to have resolved the issues that led her to cheat. Stop the sex and have couple counselling to decide whether you can save your marriage or should split for good.

DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend is forcing sex on me.

We get on well, mostly. We’ve been together for six years and he’s my rock — but there are times we don’t get along.

He’s 27 and I’m 21.

Even when we argue and he sulks,

he always wants sex. When I say no, he jumps on me and

claws at my clothes.

I tell him I don’t want to do it but sometimes I have to give in because he’s halfway through it anyway. He’s so strong. But I don’t want to lose him.

DEIDRE SAYS: This isn’t love. It’s abuse — rape if you say no and he continues. You believe you love him but love is about care and respect between two people who feel equal. You deserve better than this. If this was your friend or your sister, what would you be telling them? Just Jane: I found out about my husband’s mistress when she turned up at his funeral.

I HAD no idea my husband had been sleeping with another woman until she turned up at his funeral. She sobbed throughout the whole service and cremation with everyone muttering: “Who the heck is THAT?”

She came up to me at the wake and announced that my late husband had been a brilliant lover and that she’d been his paid-for mistress for six years. I was so shocked that I laughed out loud and told her I thought she’d got the wrong funeral. But then she whipped out a picture of my boring, unimaginative late husband.

Now I can’t get rid of the woman. She keeps turning up at my house wanting mementoes and money. She actually expects me to comfort and support her! How do I get her off my back?

JANE SAYS: You are vulnerable and exposed and need to be mindful of the fact that this woman could be a con artist. Just because she has a picture of your husband doesn’t prove anything.

There’s nothing to stop her from making up any number of stories. How can you possibly prove their sexual union one way or another? They could simply have crossed paths in a work or recreational environment. Get help and support from family members and friends. Do not give her any money or belongings and insist she now leaves you alone. Warn her that if she turns up again, then you’ll consider it harassment. Unfortunately, if she has the hide of a rhino and persists, then you’ll have to speak to a solicitor or even consider

calling the police.

I know that might sound extreme, but you cannot allow someone like this to overwhelm you and continue to chip away and take advantage. I suspect you’ve got more than enough other matters to deal with — including your own grief.

Just Jane: Arrogant girlfriend so full of herself I can’t ‘rise to the occasion in bed’

MY girlfriend is never wrong. She’s a world expert on every subject under the sun and cannot be corrected or criticised. Everytime we meet up she tells me how clever, wonderful and successful she is. She looks me in the eye and brags, without a hint of irony, about how much her boss rates her. Her ego is now completely off the scale and I find her arrogance deeply unattractive.

In the past two years she’s really turned her life around. She’s gained an extra qualification and landed a fantastic job. She’s joined a gym, bought new clothes and basically reinvented herself. In many ways I feel very proud of her, but this new image has definitely come at a price. Often I look at her and struggle to recognise her. She acts like a brat and the boasting that comes out of her mouth is jarring.

She never used to be like this and I often wish she’d go back to being the girl I first fell in love with back in 2012.

Mixing with our old friends is a nightmare, because she feels she is better than everyone else now. Recently, at an engagement party, she clashed with my mate’s wife who is the sweetest woman alive. My girl told her that she looked dowdy and mousey and needed to raise her game if she was to “make something of herself”. This to a lovely woman whose mother only recently died. I used to love having sex with her but now I struggle to rise to the occasion because she is now so unlovable. Often I spot her admiring her naked body in the full-length bedroom mirror and several times I’ve caught her taking pictures of herself on the job. Too often she’s disrespectful and hard-hearted, and I almost feel ashamed that I’m still with her because I know I’m not being true to myself.

Yet my family and everyone I work with say that I’d be mad to dump someone as fit and successful as she is.

JANE SAYS: Could it be that your girl is feeling a little smug at the moment but will calm down again in time? She’s obviously flying high and enjoying her new found success (good for her) but she’s by no means invincible.

Life has a funny habit of knocking the edges off us when we least expect it. Bosses come and go and situations change and we find ourselves having to reset and adapt to our surroundings.

Keep things real with her. Tell her that you often find her obnoxious and irritating.

It’s great that she’s looking and feeling good, but being totally self-obsessed and rude to others is never on, no matter how rich or clever you are.

Point out that she was unkind to your old friend at that engagement party. She acted like a brat and that was unworthy of her. Is she prepared to see where you’re coming from? As for her behaviour in the bedroom, explain that it is tiresome too. Is she interested in continuing this relationship with you?

Make it clear that you have your limits and your standards. Does she? Can’t she see how badly she often comes across? — Online.

HIE Dateline. Thank you, I have found love. You can now stop publishing my number — 0772654191.

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Hie Dateline, I am a single mother of two, looking for a man aged between 35 and 40 to date. I am HIV negative. 0774153202.

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Hello, I am man aged 49 and HIV negative, searching for a lady (39) to marry. She must be a Christian, employed and resident in Mutare or surrounding areas — WhatsApp 0775565052.

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Hie Dateline, I am a lady (26) with one child, looking for a man aged between 28 and 34, who is HIV negative with his own children. He should be a Christian; I am a member of the Christ Embassy Church and only interested in a serious man who is employed and resident in Mutare — WhatsApp, call or text 0774588403. No call backs please.

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I am a man (48) and HIV negative. I am looking for an honest woman who wants to settle down. I’m based in SA, but originally from Mutare — 0027657405153.

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I am a man (40) with three kids, looking for a financially stable woman, preferably a teacher, police officer or nurse, to date. I’m positive. I have no problem with the prospective candidate having one kid — 0713555234.

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Hello Dateline, I am looking for a lady aged between 18 and 20 to date. She should be serious about settling down and residing in any part of Manicaland

— 0773055958.

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Hie Dateline, I am a guy aged 41, looking for a serious lady ready to settle down. She should be between 25 and 37 years. Married women please do not contact me. Anyone who meets the bill and is interested, contact me on 0717 052 653. ***

Hie Dateline, I am looking for love — 0713 049 663.

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A 47-year-old man in Mutare is looking for a woman who is serious about getting married, contact 0785 615 854.

*** Hello Dateline, I am a single mother of five looking for a man ready to settle down. I am 38 years old — 0774 144 657.

*** Hie Dateline, I am a Zimbabwean man (30) looking for a lady between 24 and 28 years old. She should be Manicaland-based, thank you, +263714526457.

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Hie Dateline, a 40-year-old lady is looking for a male partner between 45 and 50. He should be financially stable, preferably own businesses. WhatsApp or text only — 0772306752.

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Hie Dateline, I am guy aged 26, looking for a young lady aged between 18 and 22 to date. She must be in Mutare, those who are serious contact me on 0775283357. ***

Hie Dateline, I am a guy 25, looking for soul mate who is very serious about settling down, contact me on 0778915860.

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Hie Dateline, I am a happily married man (36) with two kids and HIV negative. I am searching for a second wife aged between 18 and 24. I am not interested in divorcees, but only serious ladies ready to settle down. Those seriously eager must WhatsApp or text me on 0772641419.

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Thank you Dateline, I found the soul mate I was looking for, 0713987093. ***

Hie Dateline, I am a guy aged 25, looking for a lady to date. I work in Mutare, call or WhatsApp or text 0784932033.

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Hie Dateline, I am looking for a single heavily built lady who was never married before. She should be below 35, I am 40. Call 0772980049.

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Hie Dateline, I am a man looking for a serious lady, WhatsApp 0734510432.

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Hie Dateline, I am a guy aged 24,

looking for a girl in Mutare, WhatsApp 0027793981325.

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Hie Dateline, I am a single mother with one child, looking for a man who is ready to settle down — 0771 318 965.

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Hie Dateline, I am a single lady aged 48, looking for a man between 50 and 58 years, who is financially stable and HIV negative, to settle down with. No married men please — 0718 358 744. ◆ Those looking for soul mates, relationships and dates WhatsApp or text on 0716069196. You can also email on editorial@ manicapost.co.zw. No phone calls please!