Can’t conceive, hubby wants divorce

I am a woman aged 30 with no children. My husband wants to divorce because I am failing to get pregnant. Please help me.

I understand that this is a difficult situation, and I am here to offer some guidance. First and foremost, I encourage you to seek professional advice and support. Here are some considerations:

As you enter your 30s, your chances of getting pregnant are still relatively high. About one in four women in their early 30s will conceive during one given cycle.

However, as you approach 40, it becomes biologically more challenging to get pregnant.

There is a higher risk of miscarriage, chromosomal issues and other complications.

Despite these factors, most women in their 30s can still conceive without significant difficulty. Consider lifestyle changes to enhance your fertility, maintain a healthy weight, eat a balanced diet rich in nutrients, exercise regularly, manage stress, avoid smoking and excessive alcohol consumption.

Regular check-ups with a healthcare provider are essential to address any underlying health conditions.

It is also crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your husband. Express your feelings and fears about not being able to conceive. Encourage him to share his perspective as well.

Seek couples counselling or therapy to navigate this challenging situation together. Consider seeking legal advice if divorce is imminent.

Understanding your rights and options is essential.

Reach out to friends, family, or a counsellor for emotional support.

Remember that your worth is not solely defined by motherhood. You are valuable and deserving of love and happiness, regardless of whether you have children or not.

Remember that you are not alone, and seeking professional guidance can help you navigate this challenging time. Take care of yourself, and prioritise your well-being.

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Impregnated and dumped

Dear Tete Joyie:

I am a lady aged 25 who got married at 23 and have one child. I first met my husband at work and he opened up to me that he is divorced with one child. He would come with his child at my place and I would play with him.

I fell pregnant and he rented a room for me to stay. After some months he came with a woman and introduced her to me as his wife.

He told me that we were now in a polygamous relationship. I was shocked and confused at the same time. I blamed myself for not doing a proper background check on him.

He would come to my place and sleep at my place after every two days. I got sacked at work while I was pregnant. Now he has moved to another city with the other woman and he is not providing for our daughter. Please advise me on the way forward.

Tete Joyie says:

I am truly sorry to hear about the difficult situation you are facing. It is essential to prioritise your well-being and find a path forward that supports you and your child. Here are some steps you might consider:

Consult a lawyer to understand your rights and options.

Legal advice can help you navigate issues related to child support, custody and financial responsibilities. Document any interactions, agreements, or conversations you have had with your husband. This information may be useful in legal proceedings. They are women lawyer organisations that can help you free of charge.

Reach out to friends, family, or a counsellor for emotional support. You don’t have to go through this alone. Consider joining support groups or seeking therapy to process your feelings and gain clarity.

Also, your child has a right to financial support from both parents. If your husband is not providing for your daughter, explore legal avenues to enforce child support.

Ensure your child’s best interests are at the forefront.

Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Stress and confusion can take a toll on your well-being. Prioritise self-care activities that help you cope, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones.

If possible, have an open conversation with your husband. Express your feelings and concerns calmly. Seek clarity on his intentions and expectations regarding your relationship and your child.

Explore opportunities for financial independence.

Consider your skills, education and career prospects. If you are not already working, look for employment or explore ways to enhance your earning potential.

Also reflect on what you want for yourself and your child.

What kind of life do you envision? Make decisions based on your long-term well-being, not just immediate circumstances. Remember that you deserve respect, care and stability.

Take steps towards building a better future for you and your daughter.