Mudzimba with Mai Chisamba

— almost identical problem some time ago. I hear you. Indeed, life is tough and very few people can afford feeding people willy-nilly. Budgets are tight but you do not need to lose your head over this.

Some people are in the habit of just eating even if they are not hungry; kukwata chaiko. It is part of our culture to always offer drink and food but please only do this when you have.

Times are changing. Munhu abva mumba make nzara inezenge yanyanyo mubata sei? When you are not genuinely hungry please say “no thanks” when you are offered food.

Some will say tambodya itipei hedu munozoti taramba. What nonsense!

Please do not put your wife in the spotlight. She cannot say anything to her mum about this because she could be misunderstood.

I would not advise you to ask your mother-in-law either. I will give you the same advice I gave to someone who had a similar problem and it worked.

I know you are fed up and your letter says it all but the important thing to remember is you are family.

Your wife has done nothing wrong but you contemplate sending her away because of her mother. How dare you say that? People are individuals and it may not be her fault that amai comes so often.

We are a people with a wonderful culture of respecting one another so please do not stray from that. Let us look for a way that keeps us together asi tataura zviri pamoyo. RESPONSE Welcome back home and well done for pursuing your education. Some people think that if one is married ndipo pazvaperera.

You sound like the bigger person in this whole drama and I think you are very level-headed. Seeking advice before going legal is quite noble. Family relationships are the backbones of our tribes and clans and they should be guarded jealously. I salute your in-laws for taking care of your son especially from such a tender age. Your parents also

Amai’s visits show that she lacks other ways to occupy her time. Why not help her do projects that will pin her down? For instance, gardening, chicken farming and so many other things. Baba must feel lonely when amai goes gallivanting; involve him too in these projects.

You can talk about things like sharing the TV so that you give each other turns.

In the long run they should be persuaded not to let out the cottage so that each time they come they are not inconveniencing anyone.

Visiting each other once in a while keeps the family together. You need each other and always remember to pray for your families. I wish you all the best.

*** PISCES (Feb 19-March 20): As the Sun continues to power through your sign, you may be ready to get moving on a plan that has deep personal meaning for you. And while money could be a factor, it might be more important to you to bring this dream to life rather than worry about your financial status. You might need to strike a balance, however, so you do not jeopardise your security.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Changes could happen quickly. You might feel a strong urge to act independently. While this can be exhilarating, it could also cause trouble further down the line. You may be tempted to forget about your responsibilities, but others will be sure to remind you. It might be better to stay on their good side and toe the line. A spiritual realisation could prove empowering.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): While you may seem calm on the surface, this might not be the reality if emotions are boiling over. If you have had enough of someone’s behaviour, the coming days could see you venting your anger. But is this wise? It might not be, if you want to keep this person as lover or friend. Opting for a heart-to-heart talk first might be the better way to go. The weekend could ring in the changes regarding your social scene.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You could find conventional ways and means rather stuffy and too boring to conform to

Fiancé wants a break

I WAS going out with the love of my life for the past two years. We promised to have our traditional marriage in June this year.

He had said we would start with the normal procedure of having official introductions on both sides, then map the way forward. We are both gainfully employed, he is 27 and I am 26.

Whenever we had time we would make it a point that we have lunch together. The past two years were full of love and fun.

My problem now is my boyfriend has changed. He no longer phones me; I do so always. He does not text or even send WhatsApp messages as he used to.

Since the beginning of this year so much has changed but I just this week. But if you decide to renege on any commitments or promises, especially concerning finances, it might not help you. Though duties can be tiresome, doing what is expected of you can help you maintain your reputation and security. If you crave adventure, plan to do something that gives you a real adrenaline rush. An exciting opportunity could open up for you this weekend.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): cannot put a finger on it. We are now towards end of February and we have not gone out on a date or just to watch a movie.

Is he seeing someone else and why?

In most cases when I see him online I try to chat with him but his answers are just one-word answers. At times he does not respond. I have also discovered that he now has a new line but he did not tell me. I got this number from his friend when I could not locate him.

I do not know what I would do without this guy.

I asked him if I had done anything wrong he said no, so I am just puzzled. The worst part came last week when he sent a message which implies that he wants to be left alone for now.

He states that if — and only if — he decides for us to continue you feel confused when it comes to a budding relationship. On the one hand, a powerful physical attraction could be encouraging you to get up close and personal right away. On the other, a desire to get to know this person better over time as the romance builds also seems desirable. Only you can decide what is best for you. If you do not, your conscience will certainly let you know.

LIBRA (Sept 23-Oct 23): Is someone trying to drag you out of your cosy rut? It could certainly seem like it in the days ahead. With a powerful influence showing up, you could resent the presence of someone who seems to stir up feelings in you that you would rather avoid. But the more you resist their efforts, the harder they may try to capture your attention. If you do go for the ride, you could find that new doors open and you feel new emotions.

SCORPIO (Oct 24-Nov 21): What you want to do and what you should do may be two different things this week. In fact, you might be willing to do anything to break out of a schedule that has become boring and staid. The thing is that you cannot completely get away from your responsibilities, which you may discover in the coming days. No matter how frustrated you feel, it is better to get them out of the way so you can focus dating after this break then maybe we might go back to the way things were.

Now he does not communicate with me at all. I just do not get the meaning of this. I finally sent him an email to ask why things were the way they were, he replied and said he needed his space and I should respect that.

Do you think we will have the introductions we talked about and have our traditional marriage in time?

Ndaimbodanana nefriend yake akandida ndikaramba shamwari yake. Could this be related to why he wants us to go on a break now? This guy is now my friend on Facebook. I am just confused please help. Response As I was reading your letter I wondered what could have taken place because you seemed like the perfect couple.

This guy has asked for a break until further notice. Ko love ine recess here? Why does he want this break when you are supposed to get married soon? I smell a rat.

You were in love with his friend first then akakutora and you agreed. It is not wise to do so. You got this guy easily because he was someone you used to see and talk to. Easy come, easy go.

You did not tell me whether they remained friends or not but how can he ever trust you?

I think he has weighed the options and he may have decided to get rid of you. All these are just assumptions. I might be wrong.

The guy who was your boyfriend is now just your friend on Facebook? It does not make sense to me, maybe I am old school. Why are you recycling the same people?

He wants to be given his space, did you ask him for how long? What happens if he does not come back to you?

I urge you to respect his decision that he needs his space. Dating is about communicating, if that is no longer in existence then it means there is no love.

When someone is online it does not mean that they want to chat with everyone. It is not a must to respond; ko kana ari busy?

I may sound harsh but in my view, I do not think he is still interested in you. The choice is yours if you want to wait and hear from him after this break.

How would you feel if you see him together with his friend? Even if you were to get married, I do not think you would last long judging from the way you met.

What is to stop you from getting swept away by another friend of his in the future? I would be happy to hear from you again. Write to maichisamba@ fbnet.co.zw or WhatsApp +263771415747 on the things you really enjoy.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21): Try to go easy with your finances over the days ahead, as there could be a tendency to splurge on the spur of the moment, which could undo all the hard work you have put in recently to get your finances back into shape. If you need to let off steam, plan for something enjoyable that will not cost a fortune. Or opt for a break that is filled with adventure but that leaves you with cash to spare.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan 19): A desire for change at home could encourage some radical decisions. With Mars powering through your domestic sector, it might be a good chance to clear away clutter or make more extensive changes to your place. In the coming days, an even bigger opportunity could arise that involves a move or perhaps extending or remodelling your property in some way, all good. Also, there is interesting news coming your way.

AQUARIUS (Janu 20-Feb 18): You are likely to say exactly what you think this week, which could be liberating, especially if you have held your tongue for some time. And with Mars making some key aspects, it might be impossible to keep quiet. Be careful how you express yourself, though, especially of you want to stay on good terms with certain people. You could go too far without meaning to, and this could be upsetting. — Horoscope.com