A panic-filled animal kingdom
FACTIONAL wars in the ruling ZANU-PF can continue unabated. No one is paying attention anymore. Nobody cares which faction will carry the day. It is now clear that regardless of which faction appears victorious or which Command Culture is leading public opinion in the media or on Twitter, the real tragedy is the panic unfolding in the opposition camp.
And that survey published last Friday showing Cde Mugabe as the most favoured Presidential candidate if voting were to happen today sends cold shivers down the flaccid spines of those that were delusional enough to think they had a shot at victory in next year’s elections.
There’s Joice Mujuru NPP not only taking a dig at Morgan Tsvangirai but also going a step further and snubbing a signing ceremony of a so-called Coalition of Democrats. Then you have a frail Tsvangirai signing hollow memoranda with clueless nonentities calling themselves political parties. Then you have the rantings of Nkosana Moyo. Oh boy! It reminds me of a story from Chad: “When the Hyena and the She-Goat Signed a Peace Treaty.”
After ceaseless quarrels, all the animals agreed to sign a peace treaty and cease killing one another.
It was agreed that time had come for all animals to live as brothers and be united against their common enemy, Man.
Messengers were sent to broadcast the good news everywhere to every animal. Yes, reconciliation and harmony would certainly be born, live and survive from that moment on.
A specific time was decided upon, an evening, to celebrate the peace treaty with a festival in a vast field in the heart of the bush.
All animals, large, small, those that lived in the village, in the bush, in trees, in holes and in the water, those that fly, run, go about on two or four legs, those that crawl, the crippled and the injured all gathered together to seal their pact.
An enormously dense animal crowd soon filled the vast field.
There were congratulations and brotherly shaking of paws. The lion, the elephant, the buffalo, the bull, and others spoke one after another in exciting terms about the object of the meeting, the peace treaty (or the grand coalition if you like).
When the peace treaty was signed, every animal was full of joy.
Then the dance started, led by very fascinating music. Soon, the fever of the moment grew and filled the crowd. After several other dancers had danced in the middle, the SheGoat dizzily jumped into the circle and, by her clumsiness, caused a certain amount of disorder.
(She-Goat, Queen Bee, the choice is yours dear reader.)
The hyena cozied up to She-Goat, tossing looks that made it seem he was truly enamoured of her clumsy dancing.
(Hyena, Morgan, whatever you prefer dear reader.)
But a hyena is a hyena, and before any animal could react, Hyena pounced and tried to drag She-Goat away from the circle to better kill and devour her away from the crowd.
She-Goat cried in desperation, and confusion and panic permeated the ranks. Jackal took the opportunity to attack the chickens and chaos reigned supreme. The members of the Animal Steering Committee (CODE/NERA) vainly tried to restore order.
The domestic animals, instinctively, headed to the village, pursued by the bloodthirsty beasts of the forest. And thus the peace treaty failed. Likewise, the so-called grand coalition has caused untold anxiety in its pre-establishment moments; it will result in uneasy jubilation at its signing; and during the election year, there will be much alarm, panic and fighting as animal instincts are unleashed within the opposition ranks.
When election results are announced, when ZANU-PF is confirmed as the crushing victor, the opposition will run in all directions, shrieking and gnashing teeth in anguish as they accuse each other and everyone else of being responsible for the emasculating defeat.
A rabbit will think that a ripe palm fruit, falling to the ground, will be an earthquake.
Dubulaizitha!