Teach children self-control not birth control
Need a contraceptive and that contraceptive is called abstinence!
THE word contraceptive has become synonymous with terms such as birth pill or condoms, but our contemporary society is now ignorant of the term abstinence that has always been a hallmark known to us, practiced by us and embedded in our custom since time immemorial.
With the debate greatly divided, some say contraceptives are the greatest life-saving, poverty-ending and women-empowering innovation ever created. It appears that the contraceptive debate is more about gender politics engineered by feminists than it is about purifying our teenagers. My take is that it is now prudent to fall back on wisdom from tradition, culturally and religiously.
Let us reform the family structure and morale fibre of our beloved nation, Zimbabwe. We need to tell our children that if you can control yourself sexually, you can control your entire life. In as much as research has confirmed that the sexual debutant has reduced to a young age, it should be a wake-up call that our morality is decreasing.
The reality of social ills such as child abuse and child prostitution plus child-headed households come to mind. Not forgetting drug and substance abuse that is a driving factor for sexual encounters. Poverty and envy are also driving factors for under-age children to engage in sexual activities with older men or the so-called “blessers” cum “sugar-daddies”. We need to acknowledge that incessant exposure to pornography and adult content is a driver for early sexual initiation.
Abstinence, like honesty, is a civic as well as a personal virtue. When a society loses its sense of abstinence, it begins to destroy itself through immorality.
Children should behave like children and should have no business in adult issues. They are the future of our society, they are custodians of our customs and institutions.
The best behavioural change for children is chastity, hence the best contraceptive for children is abstinence. Sex education should be on abstinence. It should include other life skills such as communication and learning how to say “no”. Sex education should build self-esteem and confidence. In the yesteryear, it was the responsibility of aunts and uncles to educate their nieces and nephews on sex. Girls would value their virginity. They were taught how to reserve their virginity for marriage.
One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be. We should thus reflect and ask ourselves: ‘Who are we to alter our culture and family structure?’ The society has transformed to an individualistic society as compared to a collectivistic culture.
In our culture, a child was raised by the whole community and not two parents from a nuclear family. The collectivistic society ensured child protection.
Abstinence is sanctioned by God. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 states that God wants us to be holy, so children should flee from fornication. From a religious perspective, it is unethical and immoral to have sex before marriage. In the Christian religion, God designed sex for the marriage institution. Sex is God’s gift in marriage. It is for the enjoyment of the married couple and for reproduction, thus sex has both a unitive significance and procreative significance. Sex involves the mind, spirit and body, thus the Bible says in Genesis “and the two shall become one flesh”.
When the unmarried couple abandon each other, some form of divorce takes place and it affects the psycho-social well-being of the unmarried couple. That can affect even the development of the children as they nurse heartbreaks.
Sex before marriage has resulted in single motherhood and the burden attached to single parenting, whose wounds are deeper than what contraceptives can patch up.
It is time to tell our teenagers that our main reproductive organ is our brain. We need to educate them that “abstinence is the great strengthener and clearer of reason” as it builds on self-control, among other values. We now need to teach our children that sexual intercourse is a gift that says: “do not open until marriage”. If you unwrap it, you cannot wrap it up again.
When sex is done outside the commitment to marriage, it leads to promiscuity and risk of multiple partners. There is reduced respect and value of the human body. The Bible says human beings are the image of God. Human beings are fearfully and wonderfully made.
The Psalmist asks a rhetorical question “who is man that you are mindful of him?” For God has given honour and glory to mankind. The Bible also says that our bodies are the temple of God so they are sacred and ought to be treated with respect and reverence for the Lord. The kind of glory that is preserved at abstinence.
Abstinence will ensure that there are no unwanted pregnancies, promiscuity and female headed households. To reiterate on what the Vice President; Dr Constantino Chiwenga said in the National Assembly recently, the anatomy of teenagers is not fully developed to be able to carry the pregnancy. Complications include obstructed labour, obstetric fistulas, symphysis pubis diastasis and ultimately maternal and child mortality. Early sexual debut increases risk of these adolescents to cervical cancer and sexually transmitted infections, which have adverse effects on future fertility. To add onto that, methods of contraception are not 100 percent effective, therefore, adolescents remain at a risk of falling pregnant.
The way to go will be to teach children how to practice self-control. Let us teach them that abstinence, though not a fashionable term than contraceptives, helps to prevent pregnancy and STIs. Children should learn to wait and wait until they’re ready for a sexual relationship. They should wait to find the right partner, who is a partner for marriage. Children can still enjoy their youth with friends without sexual involvement, and focus on school and extracurricular activities.
Lastly it should be understood that surrendering to sensuality paralyses the powers of the moral person.