Understanding conflict
AS much as we may wish it away, conflict is an inevitable part of life. Almost every relationship is prone to conflict.
Work, friendship, marriage, family, church or community relationships can be affected by conflict if not properly managed.
Once upon a time, I found myself dealing with a lot of conflict around me to the extent of seeking help.
I had a management meeting one of the days and it took very long to finish due to the number of conflicting issues we had to deal with.
Inasmuch as the meeting was a success, it emotionally drained almost everyone.
After the management meeting, I came across a traffic light that was not working as I was driving home.
What happened at the traffic light was very annoying as other drivers failed to yield the right of way.
We ended up wasting a lot of time stuck at the traffic light.
An altercation by some of the impatient drivers even degenerated into a fist fight until the police came to manage the traffic. It was chaotic.
As if that was not enough, I got home on the same day and found my gardener in conflict with his counterpart from the neighbour’s house over a lawnmower.
Almost the whole week went by with conflicts being the order of the day.
Organisational status
Most organisations are characterised by conflict.
Certain teams do quarrel daily and it affects productivity.
Others are no longer able to work amicably anymore; if they do not quarrel, they will probably feel work did not go well.
The organisational environment has become tense for a considerable number of teams.
Some of them go to work only because they have to survive.
However, they always wish to stay away from the workplace to escape squabbles.
Some of the fights that take place in homes emanate from work conflicts.
Instead of putting energy in innovation and creativity, other team members put significant time and effort in fighting.
For some, it looks like their mandate is to cause havoc, because they love conflict so much that they will go the extra mile just to argue with others.
The quality of our lives depends on how we relate with colleagues.
Conflict is not good and it has to be quickly dealt with once it arises.
One author once said: “Do not think of knocking out another person’s brains because he differs in opinion with you.”
Some people will continue to argue until the next person agrees with them, even if they are not correct.
There are many ways of managing conflict, which include avoidance, compromise, collaboration, effective communication and active listening.
The better approach to managing conflict is not causing the conflict in the first place.
Many of us have so much conflict within ourselves that we pass it on to others without realising it.
We are all hard-pressed on every side by different pressures and because of that, we carry many battles and conflicts within ourselves.
The more we try to deal with personal challenges, the more we cause issues for others.
Conflict is not always bad. It all depends on how far the conflict reaches and the impact it makes.
There are times when conflict yields good results.
There is probably nothing wrong with having conflicts so long as we realise that there is always a way to resolve differences.
I would like to share a few quotes that we can draw some nuggets of wisdom from.
“Whenever you are in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” — William James.
“Conflict is good in a negotiation process . . . it’s the clash of two ideas, which then, all being well, produces a third idea.” — Luke Roberts.
“The greatest conflicts are not between two people but between one person and himself.” — Garth Brooks. Conflict is and will always be part of life. How you view conflict depends on how successful you are in dealing with it.
If we embrace conflict as something that sharpens us to become better people, we will probably put positive energy towards dealing with it.
Be challenged to deal with your own conflict before dealing with other people’s conflicts.
“Whenever you are in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” — William James.
◆ Rutendo Gwatidzo is managing consultant at The Consultancy. She is a HUB HR multi-award-winning leader, consultant, speaker and coach. She is also the author of the books “Born to Fight” and “Breaking the Silence”. Contact details: 0714575805/ winningstrategy.2020@gmail.com/ Rutendo Gwatidzo_Official fb public page