I’m being accused of theft
DEAR Amai, I am a 26-year-old fulltime housewife. My husband is the breadwinner. We do not have any children yet.
Last month, my husband’s paternal grandmother passed through our place while she was on her way to my brother-in-law’s house. It was supposed to be an afternoon layover, as she was supposed to be picked up by her hosts after work.
She had a modern phone that she underutilised.
Her daughter, who lives abroad, bought it for her. After two hours, gogo tried to call one of her daughters but she could not find the phone. I asked if she had not left it at her rural home or in the kombi she had used. She replied that she had the phone when she walked into my home. We turned the place upside down but could not find it. My husband and his family are now calling me names.
I do not know why everyone thinks I took the phone. Tete, who bought the phone, is threatening me. I remain a prime suspect because I always used to say the phone was too special for gogo. What should I do?
Response
Dear writer, thank you very much for reaching out to me. It is very unfortunate that even your husband has joined the bandwagon and yet there is no tangible proof that you stole the phone.
I am not fighting in your corner but I am astonished. People have to prove beyond reasonable doubt where exactly the phone got lost.
Her rural home should be searched and the kombi crew properly investigated. Her bags, as well as your home, should also be checked. There is no need for a whole family to abuse you — it is mean. Another piece of advice:
It is always best to keep some comments to yourself, especially those that come off as envious or distasteful. Constantly mentioning that gogo’s phone was too special for her really sent a wrong message. I would be happy to hear from you again.
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Auntie wants me gone
I am a married 19-year-old woman and my husband is of the same age. We are blessed with one kid. My husband is a gardener and when he is off-duty, he works as a vendor.
It is hard for us to make ends meet but we try.
At least we have free accommodation and we are given food rations at the beginning of each month. However, one of my husband’s sisters keeps telling me to go back to my parents’ home so that he (my husband) can save money to pay lobola for me, which will make our union official.
When I eloped to their home, she was totally against the idea. She even suggested we improve ourselves in terms of education since we are still both very young. I did not write my Grade Seven exams but my husband did.
I think tete does not like me because she never appreciates my efforts. When she gives us handouts, the items will be fit for the bin. I may be poor but I keep my pride. It is unfortunate that my husband now thinks auntie has a valid point. Must I go back to my parents’ home with the child?
Response
Your letter made my reading very sad. You and your spouse are both young and now have a child to cater for. If we are to set the record straight, you are not married to your husband; you are just cohabiting (kubika mapoto). In my view, tete has a valid point and she seems concerned about the type of life you are leading. It is a good idea for the father of your child to pay lobola for you, as our culture dictates. That way, you will become official and respected. Learning does not end; you can improve yourselves at whatever age so that better opportunities will be at your disposal. I think tete means well.
Talk about it as a couple and decide on the way forward. Nobody can impose anything on you because you are majors.
Last but not least, have a meeting with tete and tell her not to give you handouts that you cannot use. I wish you all the best.
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My wife is losing it
I am a boss at a certain company. The dress code is formal during weekdays and smart casual on Fridays. People respect and love this. My spouse and I are in our mid-forties. My wife runs a boutique in town and we have two teenage children — a daughter and a son.
Of late, my wife has found a new set of friends. I have not met them but I can see the damage they have done to my wife’s behaviour and outfit taste. My wife now dresses like some of the high school girls we see in town during weekends.
She now goes for very brightcoloured wigs, heavy makeup, nude colour pants and wears very long nails. I never fussed about her wardrobe but now she has become an embarrassment.
At times, she comes home smelling of booze. Last week, she passed through my office wearing a shiny green wig and I could see the way some of my staff members looked at her.
Others showed up out of nowhere, trying to get a glimpse of her. After her visit, my deputy told me that I had been secretly nicknamed “Mr Green”. I am very unhappy about this development and I am thinking of closing the boutique. Please Amai, help me. I love my wife but I cannot take this anymore.
Response
Thank you for reaching out to me. I can sense your anger and it is not wise to do anything in this state because you will end up with regrets. Your wife did join a new set of friends but you cannot solely put the blame on people you have never met.
I am not saying they are innocent, but your wife is capable of choosing what she knows is right and will please you. She could be battling with a midlife crisis.
Her sudden change in dressing and behaviour is alarming.
Do not rush to close the boutique. Instead, look for the root cause of the problem and how it can be solved. I know you want your wife to be a role model to your children and others.
I suggest you both go for professional counselling as soon as possible, then later for a grooming and etiquette class. I would be happy to hear from you again. ******************
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late because the damage would have already been done. A cow cannot be fattened on market day; mombe haikorere pamarket,” charged Mr Bruce Maunganidze of Domboshava.
The seasoned florist said most people find themselves regretting their choices during the year.
November can also be a bad month for learners who bunked lessons throughout the year and committed more time to drinking beer, taking drugs and other delinquent behaviour at the expense of schoolwork.
The month can also be very cruel to people who splurged their earnings on alcohol while their neighbours were busy constructing houses with the little they got.
Gentle reader, nothing beats doing the right things at the right time to avoid embarrassment.
Inotambika mughetto.