AGED ALIENS LONG FOR LOST LOVE
CHRISTMAS is often that time of the year when many people get a reality check on how solid their immediate and extended family relationships are.
Most people spend a greater part of the year without visiting or talking to each other due to pressing work commitments.
However, efforts are made by families to unite for festive celebrations.
Those who live outside the country often travel back home or at least send money and/ or groceries to their beloved relatives. Others, who are unable to travel or send anything for one reason or the other, make an effort to call or text to convey their festive wishes. Well, this is what many expect because Christmas is generally considered a time for families to unite, share all the laughter and cheers.
While the festive season is often associated with good things, for some, the merrymaking period exacerbates their worries. This is particularly so for people who find themselves with no single person to call a relative.
Some have been robbed of their loved ones by death, others have simply been abandoned by “heartless” kinsfolk or do not have a clue about their ancestries.
Unfortunate
It is a blistering summer morning. A group of senior citizens at Lasting Peace Old People’s Home in Norton sit lazily in their common room.
Some are watching television, while others are chit-chatting in a corner.
Upon engaging them, it quickly becomes apparent that they are all not ecstatic about the festive season.
Cosmas Banda (88), who is smartly dressed in blue jeans and a white T-shirt, appears to be the one in a better position among them.
However, a brief chat with the octogenarian immediately betrays his agony.
Banda, a former gardener in Shawasha Hills, Harare, checked into the home in 2016 following the death of his wife (Esnath).
“We had one child. She and the mother died on the same day in a road traffic accident while they were travelling from Bulawayo in January 2015.
“Originally, I am from Malawi, but I lost contact with my people more than three decades ago. When my wife died, my in-laws cut ties with me, citing various cultural issues.
“Since then, I have never known how it feels to be loved by a family. The situation gets worse around this time of the year,” narrated Banda.
Abandoned
His colleague, 78-year-old Stancilous Santos — who traces his origins to Mozambique — finds himself in a similar predicament.
Santos was born in Zimbabwe, but to Mozambican parents. His mother died when he was 14 and his father succumbed to cancer the following year.
Born the only child, Santos, at some point, lived on the streets before securing a job as a gardener in Mt Pleasant, Harare, at the age of 17. A year or so later, he customarily got married to Sarudzai, with whom he went on to have two children.
“I never had connections with my relatives from Mozambique; my wife’s family took me as their own son,” he said while gazing into space.
The couple acquired a piece of land in Murehwa during their heyday and went on to build a “family” home.
As years progressed, Santos retired from work and went to settle at the rural home. But the move marked the beginning of his misery.
“My wife is from Murehwa, thus we got land in her home area. For years, everyone seemed to be okay with it.
“However, after I retired, the family told me that I could no longer stay in their village for fear that if anything bad befell me, they had no relative of mine to reach out to.
“A lot happened at the time. We ended up divorcing and a friend had to bring me to this place,” explained Santos.
Crybert Mairos, who is one of the 46 elderly people who live at Marondera’s Runyararo Old People’s Home, was betrayed in the same manner. Major holidays like Christmas, he said, always make the betrayal wound fresh.
For 26 years, he worked as a gardener in different low-density suburbs but eventually fell ill in 2018. Resultantly, he was bedridden for seven months, leading to him losing his job.
His wife and two children, for reasons best known to themselves, immediately checked him into the Marondera home a couple of months later.
Since then, they have never visited him. “No one visits me here. I am bitter and lonely. I have lost touch with my wife and children, who are the only family I ever knew.
“They abandoned me because of my poor health. There is nothing I can do; I cannot force them to take me home but I miss them.
“It would have been good to celebrate special occasions with them,” he said.
Witchcraft
Housed at Ikhaya Labadala in Bulawayo is 80-year-old Marizani Kashawu, who was abandoned by his family on witchcraft claims.
Originally from Malawi, he moved to Zimbabwe in 1993. He was employed as a househelp for years, before his employer moved to the United Kingdom. He was left behind as the property caretaker.
However, fate took a nasty turn when his wife Martha died in 2007. Kashawu was accused of “slaughtering” his better half for ritual purposes.
Consequently, the couple’s two children left without a trace. With old age catching up with him, he could no longer be employed even for the easiest duties, which eventually resulted in him ending up in a home.
“I do not know where they disappeared to but I am grateful that at least I have a roof over my head,” he said.
Trend
Felistus Ncube, a nurse at Ikhaya Labadala, said some of the elderly people are checked into the homes by their relatives while others are dumped at the premises without official communication.
“The bigger percentage of those who are dumped are immigrants. They do not get any visitors, so we are forced to provide for them with everything,” Ncube said.
According to HelpAge Zimbabwe (HAZ), there are more than 170 registered old people’s homes around the country, with most of them filled to capacity. HAZ notes that at least 60 percent of those admitted are foreigners — mainly from Malawi and Mozambique.
The majority are former domestic, farm and mine workers.
HelpAge Zimbabwe executive director Ms Priscilla Gavi said there are more men than women in homes across the country.
“Some of these men were married to Zimbabwean women. When the wife dies or when they age, most families no longer want to associate with them for fear of future curses like avenging spirits (ngozi) in case of deaths.
“In some situations, it can be the case of a man who was allegedly abusive in the marriage or relationship, so, with age, the kids tend to side with their mothers, deserting the patriarch,” notes Ms Gavi.
Some of the inmates, she added, are widows and widowers who voluntarily check into these facilities for fear of living a lonely life.
Check-in process
Zimbabwe is said to have two admittance systems for old people’s homes.
There is one that allows people to check in and pay some fees for their stay.
The other system takes in the elderly through the Department of Social Welfare — mostly the destitute. The Government and well-wishers foot their bills. In case of death, the home takes care of the funerals and burials.
Most of the facilities are run by non-governmental organisations, churches and schools, among others institutions.
Minister of Home Affairs and Cultural Heritage Kazembe Kazembe notes that most of the affected elderly people do not have the required documents for them to travel back to their countries of origin and have lost ties with their lineages.
He, however, said Government is ready to assist in all ways possible.
“If one has the required document, then efforts can be made for them to safely travel back to their places of origin. But it is not our position or mandate to forcefully remove them from these homes or from Zimbabwe,” explained Minister Kazembe.
Ministry of Public Service, Labour and Social Welfare Harare provincial social welfare officer Mrs Susan Ngani reckons most old people’s homes are in dire need of assistance.
“We understand the situation and assist every now and then because it is one of our key pillars as a department.
“We provide financial and material assistance, and sometimes our officers offer them psychological support because some are living a lonely life there,” said Mrs Ngani.
Psychological and cultural implications
Psychologist Dr Nisbert Mangoro, who works with various old people’s homes countrywide, said most of the inmates are now mentally unstable. This, he notes, makes it almost impossible for them to travel to their countries of origin or even trace their family lineage.
“Others were married to locals, but have since been abandoned for various reasons, chiefly poverty,” he said.
Psychologist Blessed Chinyangare said economic challenges have largely affected most families. Most people now abdicate the responsibility of taking care of their elderly relatives.
“Homes used to offer sanctuary for the old. They were provided with clothing and food but this is no longer the case.
“The social fabric has been depleted and relationships strained due to economic and social issues. This has left the elderly in seclusion,” said Chinyangare.
Sociologist and budding author Courage Msimanga argued placing an elderly relative at a care facility was once considered taboo.
“Societies have been renegotiated, with some of the societal expectations altered along the way. It no longer feels odd for most people to check in their relatives or parents into these homes,” he said.
Traditionalists opine that if a foreigner dies, there is need to repatriate their remains.
However, that is not often done mostly due to the financial costs involved.
“Traditionally, if one dies, they should be buried at their places of origin. But most people no longer uphold such practices. However, this yields curses. It is culturally unheard of to bury someone you are not paternally related to,” argues Mbuya Calista Magorimbo.
But Christians dismiss any complications associated with burying the dead, either locals or foreigners.