TRUTH BE TOLD

Communication specialist Elly Johnson says thinking through “truth circles” on four levels puts you in the right mindset for decision- making. SELF-TRUTH: What lies are you telling yourself? This could be “the lies we tell ourselves when we don’t get up to go to the gym in the morning” through to things we believe about ourselves.

“It’s all about selfreflection – what’s coming out of your mouth and also what are the stories that you tell yourself in your head that are not actually true.”

SPEAK THE TRUTH:

Ask yourself, “What am I not saying that I should say? What am I holding back? It’s time to speak up about that.” Before going there, Johnson recommends “enhancing your communication skills, understanding the language and thinking through whether you can cope with the worstcase scenario if it all turns to mud”.

SEEKING TRUTH:

This is about setting the right environment for honesty by establishing truth telling, preferably from the start of any relationship.

SPOTTING HIDDEN TRUTHS:

People love to think they can become human lie detectors, but research shows we only get it right about 52 per cent of the time, Johnson says. Training can increase the success rate, but establishing relationships with honesty is far better. For example, on the dating scene “people twist and hide the truth and want to make themselves look good” – but that only leads to tears when the truth comes out. Instead, make an agreement to “start from a base of truthfulness and see where that goes”.