LETTER OF THE MONTH

The article ‘Out of the Shadows’ [December 2018] was a very sad – but real – read tackling violence in the home. My ex-partner had a personality disorder, and he could be physically and verbally abusive at home, yet so charming out in the community. Fortunately my children left home before the marriage broke up, but it wasn’t easy going at all. Looking back now, I can see I was depressed – I couldn’t put a name to my low mood back then, but I had low self- esteem and believed it was all my fault. I lived in fear of how he was going to react to all situations. When I was in that environment, I was in survival mode and under his control – even to the point of him not wanting me to go on a school camp. I was a teacher so I had no choice. Threats were ongoing and his moods were frightening. It is hard for a woman to leave a marriage when there is a house and finances to consider. But I say to all people in a bullying situation, get out as soon as you can. It may be hard initially, but gradually you’ll recover and change for the better. This is your life we’re talking about. Your life and safety are paramount, and I am glad that domestic violence is now talked about more and is not accepted in the community. Citizens Advice was my first step, and from there I learned about what counselling was available in the area. Get out, heal the scars, and get on with life to find a new freedom. That is every person’s right. Marilyn

NEED HELP? Australia

Phone 1800 737 732 for confidential help with domestic abuse. You can also contact ReachOut online at reachout. com or White Ribbon Australia at whiteribbon. org. au