Lockdown provided the perfect opportunity for our Beauty Editor to ponder her personal beauty philosophy.
For whom do we strive to look our best? Is it for ourselves, or are we conforming to standards set by others? Weeks of lockdown have provided the perfect opportunity for us to analyse our personal beauty philosophies.
Aweek or so into lockdown, my partner suggested that I write a feature examining the point of beauty rituals. Surely, he mused, there will be no need for women to continue with such elaborate beauty routines when there’s no one around to see them. My hackles went up. “Women don’t wear make-up for men!” I shot back through pursed, gloss-coated lips.
Days later, when I went to leave the house in trackpants for the first time, I recoiled in shame and quickly changed into more public-appropriate activewear. Despite my early protests, my devolution – from designer dresses and Tom Ford lipstick to dog-furcovered track pants and knotty hair that would make my hairdresser keel over in shock – progressed irresistibly. While I haven’t mourned the loss of my ‘getting-ready’ rituals, the high heels and vividly coloured lipsticks, there have been moments when I’ve wondered if I’m doing lockdown right.
Comparing yourself to others is always a recipe for disaster, but thanks to Instagram and those glossy, well-curated highlight reels, it’s never been easier to do. While I’ve barely managed a skerrick of tinted moisturiser, one particular beauty writer I follow had spent each day in lockdown experimenting with glitters, glosses and make-up looks off the runway.
Was I a lousy beauty editor? Perhaps I should wear a different fragrance each day and write about it. I pondered – 30 perfumes in 30 days! But without anyone else to enjoy them with me, what was the point?
A FOCUS ON ACHIEVING
As I scrolled through Instagram, tiny square tiles with gleaming white smiles, bouncy blow waves, tanned-inthe-middle-of-autumn abs and perfected yoga clogged up my feed and my thoughts. Not only had I let myself go, I certainly hadn’t used this time effectively. There was no first novel in the works; I wasn’t going to be leaving lockdown fluent in Italian and no surprises here: doing yoga just once hadn’t turned me into a yogi. After fretting about such trivial things, another pang of guilt struck – people are losing their lives, their jobs, their livelihoods and I’m concerned about pimples and the fact I haven’t baked banana bread.
But I wasn’t the only one – friends and colleagues cried, “I’ll be the size of a house the next time you see me!” and “I can’t Zoom right now! No one can see my hair!”. Why are so many of us preoccupied with productivity and appearance right now, I wondered? “Any other time in history and for many other less privileged countries, the emphasis for a pandemic would be survival,” explains psychologist Sarah McMahon, director of BodyMatters Australasia. “However, for many of us, we expect ourselves to thrive.”
Make-up and nail artist, Tanya Barlow, who’s known for her witty and awe-inspiring miniature works of art, says she felt pressure to continue to be productive during the lockdown. “It has been hard challenging those thoughts of feeling like I’ve ‘failed’ lockdown by not making the most of this time,” she admits. “Especially when we’re looking at social media accounts that are actively posting at-home workouts, bread making and fervent displays of learning new skills.” The truth is, the COVID-19 crisis is stress-inducing, McMahon explains. “For many, it has meant juggling childcare and work single-handedly. For many, there is stress around work loss, financial trouble, living in close proximity with others, food and stock shortages, being unable to see loved family and friends and a huge sense of uncertainty about the future.” Strangely, in a brief moment of madness, I considered ending my
“COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS IS ALWAYS A RECIPE FOR DISASTER BUT IT’S NEVER BEEN EASIER TO DO.”
Instagram hiatus – maybe I could fill it with home-cooked meals, and it would prove I was productive? Perhaps it was the motivation I needed to put on lipstick? Maybe taking selfies would mean investing more time in my appearance which would make me feel better about things? I’d read a handful of stories about women swearing by their usual make-up routines because it made them feel healthy. Forgoing their usual beauty habits, on the other hand, made them feel like they were already sick.
According to McMahon, trying to retain control of our appearance in times of stress is common. “Focusing on our appearance is an easy distraction from reality, in some ways it is easy to believe if we look okay, things are okay,” says McMahon. It’s easy to question and judge ourselves for these thoughts, but rather than chastise ourselves for having these feelings, McMahon says it’s best to recognise just how complicated beauty standards and our relationships with them are. “We live in a culture where the focus on our appearance is complex and it is better to acknowledge and accept that as the case than judge ourselves for having these feelings,” she explains.
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
McMahon, who primarily works with clients with body image disorders, believes lockdown has highlighted the impossible standards we place on ourselves more generally. Shifting our attention away from bleak news headlines and onto our appearance could make us feel like we are in control of our situation, she explains. “However, the problem with this is that it’s not our appearance that is problematic,” she says. “Focusing on our appearance will not change the crisis we are currently experiencing. Ironically, it makes our ability to cope with this once-in-a-lifetime event more difficult.”
“There is so much expectation we place on ourselves and others to look thin, young and sexy,” says McMahon. “Lockdown is somewhat illuminating in that the ‘real us’ could be exposed.” Many of us have spent time fretting over missed manicures, unkempt hairstyles and grey hairs. “[Beauty standards are] tough to maintain with restrictions imposed on beauty therapists, hairdressers, nail artists and so forth.”
McMahon believes that one of the reasons we go to such lengths to maintain these high-maintenance routines is that we think there will be costs to us for not looking beautiful. ‘We will have fewer friends, fewer opportunities for success, be less desirable,’ are the kind of thoughts some of us may have, according to McMahon.
Barlow admits feeling confronted with how she looked when her lash extensions finally grew out over lockdown. “As someone who has been getting them regularly for the last three years, I barely recognised myself without them.” Negative thinking ensued, she says. “It took a few days to finally start being kind to myself again, and accept how I look without them.”
She’s sympathetic to others who have been battling the same thoughts.
“I can imagine how things like this have been challenging lots of people during this time – regrowth galore, eyebrows gone wild, nails either as unwieldy talons or bitten nubs,” she says. “The key is always compassion, kindness and acceptance of ourselves – however we may look.”
While I might have eventually felt okay with my newfound comfort in my track pants and my sansfoundation complexion, my focus switched to my body.
According to Instagram influencers disguised as fitness experts, I could have used these four weeks to chisel washboard abs. Thanks to social media, our diet and our exercise routines have, quite literally, never been under the lens
“EVEN THE PASSIONATE BEAUTY BUFFS HAVE GONE SANS MAKE-UP FOR MUCH OF THE TIME IN LOCKDOWN.”
quite like this. With many of us with more time on our hands, it was inevitable we put that time to good use in the kitchen. Instagram feeds quickly evolved into a confusing sea of sourdough loaves, vigorous at-home workouts and chocolate-chip cookies.
FOOD FOCUS
I don’t think I’m alone in feeling like there is something cathartic about cooking and the joy that can be found in sharing a home-cooked meal. But we were barely allowed a moment to discover these feelings. Not only did baking and cooking become another productivity competition on social media, but the deluge of diet-shaming headlines came quickly too: ‘The COVID-19 Diet: How To Avoid Eating Your Feelings During Lockdown’ and ‘Emotional Eating during COVID-19 Pandemic’. It turns out if you want to conform to beauty standards, you can’t bake your banana bread and eat it too.
The pressure on so many women to watch what they eat and lose weight during a time of high stress, when many are struggling to feed their families, is deeply concerning. Personally, I was simply grateful to have a job and be able to put food on the table.
I was thankful for the extra time I could spend in the kitchen – but now we need to feel guilty about this island of normalcy in an upturned world? Not according to McMahon.
“Isolation has given us a chance to consider what is “essential in our life and this has enabled us to slow down and focus on simple things,” says McMahon.
And while we may have indulged in some home baking and comfort food, McMahon explains that we’ve had an opportunity to cook from scratch rather than relying on takeaways or highly processed alternatives. “It also creates some space for us to learn to listen to our body and eat intuitively in a way that is difficult to do with the crazy pace of life we are used to leading – not to mention the highly processed food that a fast-paced life is too often fuelled by.”
As lockdown rules eased up and I slunk into a beauty launch held via Zoom wearing trackpants, I found myself again pondering whether femininity is just a performance.
It’s a thought I’ve conveniently brushed off until now. But at the same time, I felt irked when I heard a journalist on the radio instructing women to give up make-up and skincare for good because it’s what “feminism used to be about”.
I felt irritated because the truth is our relationship with beauty is complicated – anyone who’s battled with body image demons will know you can’t just practise body positivity or reject beauty standards with a snap of your fingers. And for many, beauty rituals can give us a sense of fun or joy, even escapism. “It is reasonable to engage in any activity that makes us feel good,” says McMahon. “There is no value in judging others as being ‘less’ feminist for merely wearing make-up,” she adds. McMahon says it’s not the ‘if’ but the ‘why’ of certain beauty rituals we should explore.
“Is it because of an aesthetic ideal? Is it about pleasing others? Is it about self-expression or simply liking colour? Is it because we have been told that applying face cream is a method of self-care?” She says for some of us there is something grounding about using this opportunity to simplify life. “Including rejecting beauty standards and focusing on what’s essential.” History, she says, is being written in front of our eyes and we all cope in different ways. “It is natural that we would reconsider our priorities and be changed significantly by what is happening around us.”
Social media might be awash with glossy hair and red lipstick, but don’t let that fool you. Even the passionate beauty buffs have gone sans make-up for much of the time in lockdown. Barlow admits she only wore make-up three times in a five-week period – twice to go to the supermarket, which she says was a fun excuse to dress up and leave the house – and once for a formal-themed quiz via Zoom.
“For the first time in weeks and weeks, I took advantage of being a make-up artist and went full glam. It was awesome.” Barlow says that make-up and beauty rituals are an excellent form of self-care and self-expression. “You can, of course, wear make-up and be a feminist, I believe that the two are not mutually exclusive.” It’s especially so for transgender, non-binary and genderfluid people she adds. “Make-up is an integral part of exploring, expressing and messing with gender identity.”
So will I be swearing off certain products for good? Will I be wearing trackpants when we return to the office? Don’t get me wrong – I’ve spent some serious time planning out the perfect at-home skin treatment; I’m desperate to get into the salon and get my hair done, and I can’t wait to have an excuse to wear a bold-colour lipstick. But I’m slowly and surely reassessing why I indulge in certain rituals, and I’ve spent time thinking about the impact that keeping up appearances has had on my mental wellbeing. Do I present myself in a certain way because it makes me happy, or do I do it because everyone else is and I don’t want to be judged for failing to conform?
If I’ve learnt one beauty lesson through this, it’s got nothing to do with discovering the perfect products for fighting wrinkles or the right number of times to wash your hair each week; it’s that we need to be kind to ourselves and each other. Our talent, passions and self-worth can’t be measured by a number on the scales, by the wrinkles on our forehead or the clothes in our wardrobe. Don’t judge that woman who decides to wear a face full of make-up to the gym, just because it’s not something you would do. It might be giving her the confidence she needs to get through the morning. Likewise, you shouldn’t feel guilty if it’s midday right now and you’re still sitting in your pyjama bottoms reading this.
At the end of the day, beauty is not in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is for you. And now is the perfect time to rewrite the rules.
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