What makes homesickness more severe for some than others?

It can be summed up as “feeling ill or depressed from a longing for home” but what makes homesickness more severe for some than others, and what can we do to soothe the ache?

Dorothy hit the nail on the head with her mantra from the Wizard of Oz, “There’s no place like home”. But for some it’s not as simple as clicking your ruby heels together. Setting down roots overseas can make this a more complex decision if the pull of home finally becomes too strong to bear. Throw in a pandemic and the possibility of returning home, even just for a much-longed-for visit, becomes even more problematic.

Everyone has experienced homesickness to a lesser or greater extent during their lifetime –from missing your own bed and your usual breakfast cereal during a week’s holiday abroad, to an innate yearning for your homeland so strong you struggle to function after a long-term move. “It’s that strong sense of being connected to home and not having that connection anymore because of a move,” explains registered clinical psychologist Dr Dougal Sutherland.

“It can be both a sort of loneliness and a sadness and a boredom of the new place you have gone to, and that grief or sense of sadness from being away from home – the pull of wanting to be home and the push of not being comfortable in the new environment.”

According to the World Migration Report 2020, there were 272 million international migrants in the world in 2019, which equates to 3.5 per cent of the global population. To put it into perspective, if all those migrants lived in the one country, it would be the fifth most populous country in the world.

GLOBAL MOVEMENT

However, the pandemic has disrupted the usual ebb and flow of those living and working overseas returning home. One-third of the estimated one million Australians living overseas have returned since March, the ABC reported in July. New Zealanders have returned and are staying put in record numbers, according to a recent Stats NZ report. As the pandemic sent waves of uncertainty and fear around the globe, many had to make quick decisions with limited information, with large numbers choosing to return home.

Homesickness is commonly experienced, across all genders and generations around the world. It’s referred to in songs and in literature, but what makes homesickness worse for some than others?

Personality types have been shown to influence the severity of homesickness. The five-factor model of personality types lists broad domains of personality: neuroticism, extraversion, openness to experience, agreeableness and conscientiousness.

Dr Louise Horstmanshof, of the School of Health & Human Sciences at Southern Cross University, has undertaken research on homesickness that highlights personality types as significant predictors of these variations. High conscientiousness and high extraversion were associated with low homesickness scores and a positive reaction to the perception of the change in environment.

Conversely, high neuroticism scores and low extraversion scores were associated with high homesickness scores. The results showed satisfaction with the current situation to be the most important factor influencing homesickness, with personality type and cultural background influencing means of coping with the situation.

Horstmanshof draws on her own experiences with homesickness, having emigrated from South Africa to Australia 34 years ago. “Of the five qualities, I think openness to experience is the most important. Moving to a new country is challenging but trying new things, being curious and open minded helped me adapt.’’

Research finds a group of dispositional factors have been shown to play an important role in the occurrence of homesickness. Qualities that are more susceptible include introversion, rigidity, low dominance levels, low self-esteem, anxiousness, high levels of harm avoidance and low levels of self-direction.

How an individual experiences homesickness is also influenced by whether the person had a choice in the move. In the case of children attending boarding school, refugees and older adults moving into residential care, it’s common for it to not be their decision.

A recent study by Horstmanshof looked into adults who move to independent living units, and showed that feelings of autonomy and control over the decision to move were important to all respondents. “People can be quite disorientated by it. It can make you ill as it’s a form of stress and disorientation, especially if they didn’t have a choice about it,” says Horstmanshof.

HEALTH IMPACTS

Preoccupation with thoughts of home is an overarching characteristic of homesickness. Mental-health symptoms can include loneliness, dysphoria, emotional distress and depression. Increased physical health problems as a result of excessive mental stress or poor diet can include headaches, stomach aches, nausea, fatigue and lethargy.

Chronic homesickness has been described as a grief reaction, similar to having lost a loved one, but grieving for the loss of a place with a yearning and longing for the familiar.

“For some people, they fall in love with where they are and get over it; for others, there might always be a longing,’’ says Horstmanshof.

The time taken and difficulty experienced in adapting to a new environment differs from person to person. It can be an emotional time as people struggle to adjust to and enjoy the new environment and loosen the attachment to home.

It’s not uncommon for those experiencing homesickness to idealise home. Trips back after a few years may even be a disappointment as home does not live up to their idealised memories. In a research paper, Psychological Aspects of Geographical Moves, professor of clinical psychology Ad Vingerhoets wrote about the problem of idealising where we are from when suffering from homesickness: “It may also seriously hinder reintegration when back in the homeland, because of over-idealisation, which makes the return often disappointing.”

EASING HOMESICKNESS

“Studies have shown that the more satisfied you are with your new life, the less you are likely to be homesick,” says Horstmanshof.

If there is an area in your life you feel is lacking, work towards finding happiness and fulfilment in that area. Perhaps your work and home life are good but you feel like you need to establish good friends in your new environment. Social media makes an easy starting point to connect with similar interest groups, so you can also indulge in your favourite pastimes to lift your mood at the same time as forging friendships.

For those having moved overseas for the long term, Horstmanshof suggests committing to the new place for a period of time and reviewing after that time: “Accept, commit to make the best of it and review at a time in the future.”

Sutherland suggests a distraction technique to help retrain your brain when you are feeling particularly homesick. “Call home when you’re feeling good. When you’re feeling down and really badly missing people, do something else to cope in those times,” he says. “Then, when you feel better, contact home. That helps associate home with that goodness and a nostalgic longing rather than with grief.” Establishing a routine could also help you connect to your new environment. “Anything you can do to establish a new routine, such as going to the same café every day, will make things more comfortable,” says Sutherland.

“Also, remind yourself why you came in the first place – was it because of a new opportunity, to study or work, or for a lifestyle change and an adventure?”

People comfortably living away from their homeland may have their homesickness triggered unexpectedly. “These triggers could be a significant birthday, or when you are looking for something you can find easily at home, but can’t find in your new location,” says Horstmanshof. “There are a whole lot of these funny little things that can trigger homesickness.”

During a two-year period when Horstmanshof lived in Hong Kong, she recalls her own homesickness being triggered: “One day, I went into a supermarket and was walking down the aisle and there was a packet of Tim Tams and I froze. That packet made me feel so homesick; I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it triggered so much that was connected to me.”

Christmas time is a common trigger for the homesick. It’s a time of year when most think of home, when families living apart regroup and celebrate. Childhood memories of family rituals fuel the nostalgia. Culturally, we’ve been conditioned to see a strong link between Christmas and family, and this conditioning intensifies homesickness for many.

Homesickness may be exacerbated this year for those who have already been separated from their loved ones for longer than expected. Christmas is usually the busiest time of year for travel all around the world. This year will be different with restrictions in place that even Dorothy and her ruby slippers would struggle with.

This Christmas, if you’re away from home, try incorporating some of your usual traditions into your festivities, wherever you are. This could help bring to life positive memories and associations. If you’re away from loved ones, utilise technology, maybe share a mince pie together and make plans for the future.

VISIT MiNDFOOD.COM

‘Kaukokaipuu’ is a Finnish word referring to a feeling of nostalgia or homesickness for a country where we have never been. How is this specific form of wanderlust possible?

mindfood.com/unusual-emotions

“CALL BACK HOM E WHEN YOU’RE FEELING GOOD.”

DR DOUGAL SUTHERLAND