In the public eye since her teens, she has had to overcome criticism and self-doubt during her rise to stardom.
Nicole Kidman has been in the public eye since her teen years, but the award-winning actor and producer has had to overcome self-doubt and unwarranted criticism during her rise to stardom. In an exclusive interview with MiNDFOOD, she explains why she’s finally comfortable in her own skin and why her main focuses are her family and pursuing stories that put women both in front of and behind the camera.
“I REMEMBER BEING AT SCHOOL AND NOBODY WANTING TO DANCE WITH ME BECAUSE I WAS A FOOT TALLER THAN ALL OF THEM.”
The aesthetic appeal of Nicole Kidman has been celebrated, debated and emulated going back as far as 1983, when an erstwhile freckle-faced teenager sporting an unruly mop of curly, flame-red hair charmed audiences in BMX Bandits. Four decades on, this 53-year-old Oscarwinning glamour icon, who has lived her life fearlessly – in front of and behind the camera, and in the public eye no less – has maintained her mantle as one of the world’s most beautiful women. And although gorgeous movie stars in Hollywood are as ubiquitous as the palm trees that line its boulevards, Kidman’s refusal to lead with her good looks only exacerbates her attractiveness. Indeed, as anyone who has spent any amount of time with her will attest, she really does exemplify the cliché that beauty comes from within.
As an actress, her physicality is, of course, an essential tool. As a woman, she’s no different from the rest of us, with an ongoing love-hate battle with the mirror, dictated by everything from age to morning mood. “Do I want to look good at times?” she muses. “Yeah. Is it an obsession? No. Do I have a man who loves me no matter how I look? Yes.” Kidman smiles broadly. “That really helps. But look, I like to feel healthy, bright eyed and bushy tailed, as my mum says, and that is my priority.”
There’s no question Kidman can afford the best aestheticians, facialists and dermatologists. She can purchase luxe skincare brands without a second’s thought (though she remains spokesperson for the moderately priced Neutrogena line) and even enjoy daily facials should she so desire. But the secret to her enduring beauty, beyond protecting her skin from the sun (we’ve all seen pictures of her at the beach, covered from neck to knee and under an umbrella), is her decision to be a happy and active participant in her own life.
While many touted beauties are decidedly dull in person, perhaps feeling their good looks preclude the need for a personality, Kidman doesn’t merely sit back waiting to be entertained. She mucks in and makes an effort. As her recent co-star, Hugh Grant, told me when he was promoting The Undoing late last year, “She’s a silly Aussie girl with a great sense of humour.” He meant no disrespect; his fondness for his friend was quite obvious. And Kidman is thrilled when I recount his comment.
“I think I’ve always been silly and funny, but that was always in the privacy of my home. Now that’s part of loosening up in terms of just ageing and going, ‘Okay, I can be more myself now.’ I think I was probably a lot shyer when I was younger.”
OWNING HER APPEARANCE
Another trademark feature, alongside those famed tresses and alabaster-hued skin, is her statuesque frame. Standing well above the rest of her class at school, at 180cm, would give any young girl with a shy disposition cause for anxiety.
“I’ve had a complicated relationship with being tall,” she nods. “When I was younger, I’d always fall in love with the boys who were much smaller than I, and I remember being at school and nobody wanting to dance with me because I was a foot taller than all of them,” she chuckles.
“Actually, one of my most jarring images is of a boy being dragged across the floor at camp, going, ‘No!’ It scarred me for life. And I’d get called ‘Storky’ at school,” she says. “But then, finally, I’ve gone, ‘Okay, own it. Enjoy it, wear your heels, wear your platform shoes, hold your shoulders and don’t stoop.”
Her much discussed visage, meanwhile, has attracted rampant speculation and endless fascination from the public concerning what she may or may not have done to it. Back in 2010, while promoting Rabbit Hole, she said of Botox, “I’m of the generation where you try things, and I suppose I’m the scapegoat for it.” More recently, she
“I DON’T THINK YOU GET TO BE IN YOUR FIFTIES AND NOT EXPERIENCE LOSS. IF YOU DO, MY GOSH, YOU ARE ON SOME MAGICAL JOURNEY.”
insisted, “The idea of women supporting each other needs to be part of our culture. Constructive criticism is good but when it’s based in no construction, it’s just cruel. I don’t get it.”
A champion of women’s rights, she doesn’t merely speak in platitudes. As a producer, she relishes the opportunity to discover and nurture female talent, both in front of and behind the camera. “I am in a position as a producer where I can say, ‘I want this film or TV show to be directed by a woman.’ And that’s what happened with The Undoing.”
The hit series was directed by Susanne Bier, who also helmed the award-winning TV series, The Night Manager. “It’s a really great way to instigate change,” she adds, a smidgen of pride in her words. She also helped to ensure the crew was 99 per cent female on Destroyer, a 2018 film directed by another woman, Karyn Kusama.
Kidman hails from a family of women, feels comfortable around women and often partners with women. Case in point: Reese Witherspoon and Aussie producer Bruna Papandrea collaborated with her on Big Little Lies, which was adapted from a book by Liane Moriarty. She worked again with Papandrea on The Undoing and more recently on Nine Perfect Strangers, a TV adaptation of another Moriarty book.
While the media has a tendency to pit actresses against each other, Kidman is all about raising up her fellow women, not competing with them. When Charlize Theron’s Bombshell hit a roadblock, for example, and the production was halted for various reasons, including a cashflow problem, Kidman remained loyal to the project, prompting other big names to follow suit. Theron, who produced the film, said at the time, “There are stories you don’t hear and that is about women wanting other women to succeed. When I think back to what Nicole said to me during that time – ‘I’m not going anywhere’ – when other actors would have run, I get emotional.”
QUIET CONFIDENCE
One might assume a woman of Kidman’s calibre, boasting a career awash with countless awards and accolades, would ooze confidence. And although she is most decidedly a self-assured woman, she remains appealingly selfdeprecating. Hers is a confidence that is manifested quietly. “I think I still have a lot of work to do on my confidence,” she agrees. “It’s something that I struggle with because so many times I’ll get a role and I’ll think, ‘I can’t do this,’ to the point at which I’m nauseous and terrified.”
I ask if a healthy career in the spotlight demands a comparably healthy ego. “I’m actually not a huge advocate for the ego. I think the ego can be very destructive. Of course self-esteem is important, but that’s a different thing.”
Certainly, she knows the importance of imbuing that in her daughters, Sunday, 12, and Faith, 10, who have no issues about self-esteem, confidence, or lack of it.
“My eldest [Sunday] wants to be a filmmaker and she makes films every weekend. The little one is battling to get in them, but she had a tantrum and wouldn’t say the lines. And actually, I got fired not long ago.” She laughs. “And I love that she will say ‘no’ to casting me sometimes because it means she’s confident. I love that both of them are passionate and supportive of what I do. I keep vouching for Faith, saying, ‘She’s a good actress. Put her in one of your films!’ So that’s what’s happening at my house.”
While maintaining her happiness as best she can is a priority, she is not, of course, impervious to pain and suffering. She famously suffered a very public divorce from Tom Cruise in 2001, after 10 years of marriage, and further heartbreak when her adored father, psychologist and academic Dr Antony Kidman, died suddenly in 2014.
“I don’t think you get to be in your fifties and not experience loss,” she sighs. “If you do, my gosh, you are on some magical journey. I’ve had enormous loss at different times. I have that terrible thing where I’m terrified of phone calls at 3am. I still have incredible fear because so many times that’s how I’ve been told of things that have happened in my life, so I have that terrible trigger response when that phone goes off at 1am or 2am in the morning. I’m like, ‘Argh!’ It almost puts me into a panic.”
Kidman is, of course, mum to four children in total, her eldest two – Isabella, 28, and Connor, 26 – adopted during her marriage to Cruise. Amid much debate about the nature of her relationship with them, she explains firmly but politely that she won’t be elaborating on the subject. “They’ve asked me not to discuss them, so I respect that. I think it’s the right of every human and you should honour what they want. And so, out of respect for them and also out of respect for Keith, I honour them by not discussing those things. And I mean, my marriage [to Cruise] was years ago.” She shrugs her shoulders. “My children are grown now, and that’s that.”
Clearly at peace now with her life’s apparent former dramas, Kidman’s happiness and contentment radiate from her in spades. “I always wake up in a good mood,” she smiles.
“I do. Keith said to me, ‘People should know that about you.’ I don’t know why, but he’s always saying, ‘You need to tell people you always wake up in a good mood, because it’s really unusual.’
“So, there we go. That’s a very, very deep, insightful thing that I just told you,” she quips. Of course, joking aside, those waking moments, steeped in happiness, tell us everything we need to know about Australia’s most famous, yet famously private person.