(New) love really is blind

IGNITING INTIMACY

Engaging in affectionate touch raises levels of oxytocin. So do hugging, kissing and acts of generosity and reciprocity. You can also try sitting across from your partner and holding eye contact without talking for

several minutes. Research confirms that when you’re in the early stages of a new relationship, your brain fires off dopamine, creating excitement and allowing you to focus your attention on the object of your desire.

The dopamine helps deactivate frontal areas of the brain responsible for forming judgements. That’s why, when we’re infatuated with someone, our minds become muddled — making it possible to overlook or minimise flaws (noisy chewing or an obnoxious laugh) and to project onto the other person features we wish we had ourselves.

These hormones ebb after about six months, and some of our beloved’s more unpleasant qualities may become more apparent. Some people in relationships say they suddenly don’t recognise their lovers anymore, when in fact they may see them clearly for the first time.

For a study published in Biological Psychiatry, researchers arranged for 47 long-time couples to delve into thorny issues such as family finances to observe both verbal and non-verbal behaviour. Before the participants started, the scientists gave half of the group a dose of oxytocin, a neuropeptide also known as the love hormone.

The couples who received the oxytocin exhibited less negative behaviours such as showing defensiveness or contempt and more positive behaviours, such as validating one another.