The “desperate” moment that changed my life

Sometimes it takes a wake-up call to remind us that we need to make and take time to nurture our health.

Three women share their fateful health turning points

If you flicked back through your diary over the past month, would your partner, kids and maybe your job be the top priorities? And where would time for yourself fit in? As busy women, we’re often so slammed just getting through each day that our own health gets sidelined. Then, before we know it, health niggles can snowball. That’s what happened to these women who, in a sudden and life-changing moment, have had to fast-track their health to the top of their priority list. It’s meant changing much about the way they live, which has required grit and determination. Their inspiring lifestyle upgrades have not only transformed their physical health, but completely rebooted their mood, relationships and happiness too.

Rose’s story SURVIVING A CRUSHING, HEART-FELT MESSAGE

It took a brush with death to get Rose Valentine Pamilar, 45, to rethink her health priorities.

“In August 2017, I was asleep when I woke up around 3.30am, sweating, shivering and with crushing chest pain. I just managed to get to the bathroom before I threw up repeatedly. I felt like I had a vice around my chest. It was excruciating to breathe. With horror, I thought that I must be having a heart attack. I remember thinking, ‘This is it – I’m going to die,’ and I started crying as I thought that I’d never see my beloved young nephews again. Then I fainted.

I’m not sure how long I was unconscious, but when I came to, I managed to half-crawl and half-walk to the other side of the house to wake up my brother, who called an ambulance. I was rushed to hospital, to intensive care, where I was given medication and had lots of tests. Within a few hours, they confirmed I’d had a mild heart attack. I could hardly believe it, because I felt too young and I’d had no warning signs apart from a mild headache that day.

I lay in my hospital bed for five days and was getting emails from my colleagues asking me about work issues – yet they knew I was unwell. My job as the national account manager for a media company was enormously stressful.

I’m passionate about my career, so I’d allowed my job to take over my entire life. I was often working 10-hour or even 12-hour days and always eating lunch at my desk. Every night and every weekend, I took work home. Work stress even stopped me falling asleep and woke me up at night. I was living like a mouse on a wheel. It took this very extreme event to make me realise

I had to make some drastic changes to my work/life balance.

First, I changed my diet, stopped eating takeaway every day and started eating more salads, vegetables and lean protein like fish. I started walking every single day for about

45 to 60 minutes.

When I went back to work, that familiar pressure came rushing back and I started getting panic attacks because I worried I might have another heart attack. It made me realise I needed to radically reduce my work stress, so I had to change my job.

I now work only four days a week, not five. In my past job, everyone depended on me for too much. Now I have the support of a great team and we share the workload and pressures. Making that change has been wonderful. I work fewer hours, have my weekends back and enjoy enough energy to catch up with friends, which I was often too tired to do before.

Before my heart attack, my hair used to fall out from stress, which had also caused several bald patches. Now my hair has grown back and I no longer have problems falling or staying asleep.

I’ve also set physical challenges and completed Sydney’s City2Surf and the Sydney Harbour Bridge Run – jogging some of the way and walking some of it. As I reached those goals, I lost 20kg and I felt fantastic. I was getting fitter and healthier and I felt like I had a new lease on life.

Every three months, I have an entire physical and my doctor checks my heart and blood pressure. My last check was perfect and, because of all my lifestyle changes, my risk of having another heart attack is no more than any other woman my age.

My heart attack was a huge wake-up call that made me realise what really matters.

I actually have a life now, rather than just living to work.”

“I’d allowed my job to take over my entire life. Every night and every weekend, I took work home. I was living like a mouse on a wheel.”

-

Rose Valentine Pamilar, 45

My heart attack was a huge wake-up call that made me realise what really matters. I actually have a life now, rather than just living to work.

I’ve dropped from a size 18 to a size 10-12. I’m happier and healthier than I’ve felt

in years.

Elizabeths’s story SHEDDING KILOS AND REGAINING CONFIDENCE

Elizabeth Low, 50, lost 30kg and gained a fresh, positive attitude to life.

“I put on weight after having three children, and it kept creeping up over the years. It hit an all-time high after the death of my mum, when I turned to food even more for comfort.

When I reached 105kg, I was so panicked by my weight that I couldn’t bear to get on the scales anymore. Physically, I felt awful. I was constantly tired and out of breath and felt afraid that my obesity was increasing my risk of heart disease and diabetes.

I was too self-conscious to wear a swimsuit, so I stopped activities like swimming in summer. I hated having photos taken. Seeing those shots triggered a rollercoaster, where I’d go on a starvation diet or totally binge out. My self-esteem was at an all-time low. I was always putting myself down and I felt so ashamed that I became depressed and anxious.

One night I saw a TV ad for the Michelle

Bridges 12-Week Body Transformation program. I was feeling desperate to do something about my weight, so I signed up, hoping it would give me the push I needed.

For the next 12 weeks, I made over my entire lifestyle. Six days a week I did one of the program’s 45- to 50-minute exercise routines. And on Saturdays, I pushed through their killer 90-minute workout. My muscles ached so much I joked about wishing that I had assistance rails in my bathroom!

Meanwhile, I completely changed my food habits. I stopped drinking five to seven cans of Diet Coke a day and started drinking water. I chose healthy recipes from the program and, instead of serving food on a big dinner platter and going back for seconds, I served set, smaller portions, eating more vegetables and less processed foods.

After four weeks, I had far more energy and

I’d lost 6kg and 28cm around my waist. That shift felt fantastic and that’s when I really started enjoying the journey of improving my health. By the end of my first 12 weeks, I’d lost a total of 16.3kg, which motivated me to keep going.

I now weigh 75kg and have dropped from a size 18 to a size 10-12.

I still exercise six days a week and now eating healthy food is a way of life. Sometimes I have a little chocolate, but I get the smallest bar and I enjoy it while I’m sitting down with a cup of tea, so that I can savour every mouthful. If I get the urge to ‘comfort eat’, I go for a walk or do a mini HIIT exercise session instead.

When I started this health journey, my focus was all about seeing my weight go down on the scales. But as the kilos came off and I became fitter and stronger, there were so many other benefits. My skin looked healthier and my sleep quality nd immunity improved.

My husband and I became much more connected, not just because of his lovely support, but because I stopped being so guarded as I no longer felt I should hide from the world.

My biggest ‘aha’ moment came when, doing the mindset part of the program, I realised I constantly made excuses that stopped me from sticking to healthy habits.

So I started challenging this with positive messages like, ‘You are strong and capable and you can do this.’ That was the key.

My health turning point has made me feel like a completely different woman. I have far more self-belief and confidence, feel more in control and I’m able to push out of my comfort zone and try new things. I’m happier and healthier than I’ve felt in years.”

“I was constantly tired and out of breath and felt afraid that my obesity was increasing

my risk of heart disease and diabetes.”

-

Elizabeth Low, 50

Rachel’s story CALLING TIME ON WINE O’CLOCK

Rachel Hind, 43, had to learn new ways to de-stress when her wind-down wines turned into a harmful drinking habit.

“As a lawyer and accountant working in banking and finance, my career involved long hours often followed by boozy corporate events. In my 20s and 30s, I loved that fun, social side of work.

But once I had two children, I started drinking at home as well, to cope with the stress of juggling a high-pressure career with caring for kids and running a household. Though I didn’t drink every day, I drank many days, usually binging on two bottles of wine, followed by spirits like vodka.

I was very good at hiding the problem. I was performing fine at work and at parenting, and even getting to the gym. But I was also suffering constant hangovers, blackouts, brain fog and memory loss, plus chronic exhaustion.

I was raised to keep my problems to myself, so I felt too ashamed to talk about my worsening drinking problem. As a working mother, I also felt pressured by that unrealistic expectation that you should be able to keep all the balls in the air, and juggle it all to perfection, without ever feeling overwhelmed. So I toughed it out alone, stuck in a cycle of alcohol, guilt, anxiety, self-loathing and self-sabotage.

Then some blood tests showed that I had elevated liver enzymes (putting me at high risk of fatty liver) and I developed severe psoriasis (skin inflammation caused by my stress). I realised my drinking was doing serious harm to my body and that I was putting my future health at risk. I tried Alcoholics Anonymous but the 12-step process didn’t work well for me, and I struggled with labelling myself an ‘alcoholic’. Reading self-help books and reaching out to online communities helped, but my turning point came when I read online about an approach called SMART Recovery. It’s based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and I did 16 sessions with a counsellor. It helped me work on my emotions, beliefs, fears and self-esteem issues that were behind my drinking.

I quickly realised that I had to give up my 20-year drinking habit. That detox took two weeks and was incredibly tough. I suffered insomnia, anxiety, night sweats, extreme tiredness, low mood and low confidence, but I was lucky to have my husband’s support. Within 30 days, my health radically improved. I looked less puffy, felt less exhausted, could think more clearly and slept more soundly.

To get some emotional support, I saw a life coach. I began writing a journal to express gratitude, work through feelings and set new goals. I also took up yoga, and visualisation and meditation, to learn to be more present, calm and focused and let go of negative emotions. I embraced my recovery with such passion that I was invited to become a SMART recovery facilitator and coach. I’ve now led over 100 free community group sessions! When I realised I wanted to help others, I trained as a sobriety coach and set up a business called Be Your Best Self, to help corporate workers and women like myself develop a healthier relationship with alcohol and drugs.

The health benefits of sobriety have been amazing. I look 10 years younger, I’m the lowest body weight I’ve been in years and have a much clearer mind. I’ve also become fitter and I ran my first marathon last year. Emotionally, I’m also far more stable and present with my kids and partner.

When I gave up alcohol, I set myself three goals that I still carry around on a piece of paper in my wallet. I wanted to take back control of my life, be a better role model for my kids, and feel proud and learn to love myself. I feel like I’ve finally reached that place. I’m not only healthier and happier

– I’m the best version of myself that I can be.”

“I toughed it out alone, stuck in a cycle of alcohol, guilt, anxiety and self-loathing.”

-

Rachel Hind, 43

The health benefits of sobriety have been amazing. I look 10 years younger and have a much clearer mind. I’ve also become fitter.