Me and my fitness buddy The benefits of exercising with a friend
If you want to push harder, be more committed and add some fun to your workouts, find a fitness buddy. It can have all kinds of surprising benefits.
Do you ever get the willpower wobbles trying to stick to your workout routine? On a cold or rainy morning, perhaps you snuggle back under your doona. Or if you’ve had a busy day, you arrive home and kick off your shoes instead of slipping on your runners for a power walk. When you’re a team of one, no-one notices if you skip your workout.
“A fitness buddy helps you lose your excuses for not exercising today and provides a psychological pick-me-up so you push yourself harder, even on days when you’re tired or less motivated,” says
sports and exercise scientist Martha Lourey-Bird. “If you’re not at the same fitness level, it can be good to pick two different activities – such as tennis and yoga – where you each have a chance to shine and help the other.” Team sports are also a great option, as they provide numerous exercise buddies to keep you accountable. “This encourages you to show up and do your best every time,” she says.
Combining exercise with fun and friendship is a winning workout combination. To find out more about the perks, we talked to six women who work out with a steadfast fitness buddy.
Julia and Annabelle
An age gap of more than 20 years has spurred these sparring partners to greater personal bests. Julia Lyashenko, 40, who works in project management, and Annabelle Ballard, 63, a part-time property analyst, met seven years ago at a fencing club. They now train together several times a week and sometimes compete against each other too.
Julia says
“I hadn’t fenced since I was eight, back in the Ukraine, but I always missed it, so seven years ago, I took it up again. When I arrived at the club, Anna was so welcoming and introduced me to everyone. Within months, we became sparring partners. It took time to regain confidence, but she mentored me, urging me to get back into competitions. Anna has a nice long ‘attack’ and I have to be very careful with her every time we spar. She really helped improve my distance and speed. Fencing is a little like playing a super-fast physical game of chess, and Anna is a world-class competitive fencer. With Anna’s encouragement, the following year, I won a bronze medal in a competition in Adelaide.
Since I’ve been fencing with Anna, I exercise more frequently and harder. I don’t miss training sessions, as I would never let her down. She’s calm, determined and always keen to improve and try different fencing techniques. She inspires me and motivates me to push beyond my usual limits. Though we take our training seriously and give each other helpful feedback, our sessions are also social and fun, and we laugh a lot, so each workout goes really fast. Sometimes, when we’re close in score, we might be a bit angry with ourselves, not the other person.
During the recent Commonwealth Veteran Fencing Championships, we competed against each other twice. The hardest bout was when we met in the semi-finals. Though I won, I felt really mixed emotions – happy for myself, but also teary about beating my partner! Then the next day, we fenced together on the same team and took a gold medal against the British team, so it was mutual joy!”
Annabelle says
“When Julia and I became sparring partners, I was mostly training with men at Swords fencing club in Sydney’s Crows Nest. Men are taller and faster, which means you have to adjust your timing and the length of your hit (or strike). As I compete against women, who can be more evasive and tricky in their approach, I was really pleased to start training with Julia.
Every week, we do two very intensive training sessions that last two to three hours. Before we start, we often talk about what we would like to work on in our training. If we’ve seen each other competing, we might also debrief and give feedback about the pros and cons we’ve observed in relation to each other’s attack and defence.
Fencing is a great way to stay fit and it never gets boring. It works out your whole body, especially your back, arms and legs. You also exercise your brain, as you need to figure out what your opponent’s strengths and weaknesses are, and play your game accordingly. At first, Julia was a bit rusty and, at that stage, I could hold my own with her. But as time has progressed, she has dug deep to recover her old skills, and worked hard with lessons and bouting to develop new skills. She’s now a very strong and formidable fencer, which is great, because she constantly pushes me to do better. I love the challenge of attempting to hold my own with a fencer who’s 20 years younger than me. It literally keeps me on my toes!
As training buddies, Julia and I are mutually supportive and have great camaraderie. She’s very focused and, when she’s bouting, she’s a hard task master and very much in her own head. But then, when there’s a halt (a short break) between strikes with the sword, we often have a good laugh, at ourselves and something funny or challenging that just happened in the bout.
If we get frustrated or annoyed, it’s always with ourselves, but never with each other. Julia is very focused and strong physically and mentally, which constantly inspires me to aim higher and keep trying new approaches to improve my game.”
“As training buddies, Julia and I are mutually supportive. If we get frustrated or annoyed, it’s always with ourselves, but never with each other.” - Annabelle Ballard, 63
“That boot-camp approach just makes exercise a chore, but working out with Rosemary is a pleasure that has changed my life.” - Eugenie Pepper, 50
Eugenie and Rosemary
During scenic coastal walks, Eugenie Pepper, 50, and Rosemary Sherro, 46, developed a deep and lasting connection. In the 12 years since, the two counsellors have become great friends, business partners and constant exercise buddies.
Eugenie says
“In 2005, after losing a twin pregnancy, a girlfriend recommended I see her friend, Rosemary, for counselling. Rosemary was incredibly empathetic and helped me work through my deep sadness and feel more positive about the future. We strongly connected, so once I finished the counselling, we started occasionally doing a coastal walk together. It was so enjoyable, we made it a regular thing – and our friendship really grew.
Now we exercise together every week and sometimes every day. We mostly walk, but also swim and do yoga. I can sometimes feel unmotivated to work out, but because Rosemary is waiting, I get out of bed and get moving. She spurs me on to swim laps in the freezing cold ladies’ pool at Coogee, or try a more challenging yoga pose that I would never attempt on my own.
Before exercising with a buddy, I had tried group classes in the park and gym, which made me feel uncoordinated and like I didn’t fit in.
I don’t like someone yelling at me to push harder like I’m back in school. For me, that boot-camp approach just makes exercise a chore. But working out with Rosemary is a pleasure, and it has boosted my fitness and changed my life.
During one of our early walks, Rosemary got me interested in mindfulness. I loved it so much, I ended up studying hypnotherapy and counselling. Two-and-a-half years ago we set up a business together called Key Mindfulness, which offers wellbeing coaching, as well as counselling. We’re also developing a meditation app. Sometimes we go for walking business meetings to brainstorm ideas. Otherwise, we laugh, chat or talk about psychology, books we’re reading, a Netflix series we’re watching, or our kids, family and lives. Socialising while working out is the nicest way to stay in shape.”
Rosemary says
“Having Genie as a fitness buddy makes me look forward to exercise. Otherwise, I would make excuses and opt out more often. She’s such great company that keeping fit feels more like a fun social catch-up than a workout. The amazing scenery of our coastal walks and swims also makes our exercise time together extra-special. Our walks take an hour to an hour-and-a-half and allow us the time to bond and become real soul sisters. We talk about everything from health and our dreams and fears, to the state of the world.
Before we became fitness buddies, I’d slacked off quite a bit with my home workout routine of yoga and Pilates. Now, because of Eugenie, I exercise daily or every few days. When she’s a bit low on energy, she might be a little slower. But on high-energy days, she pushes us both to swim or walk a little further and sets a fast pace, so if I don’t speed up, I’ll be left behind! Her approach has taught me that some days with exercise you should listen to your body and adjust what you’re doing, and that’s been a great health lesson.
We’re both busy juggling work and family, and one time while out at dinner, we decided we needed to escape to recharge our batteries. We booked tickets that same night and, two weeks later, we were at a Bali resort drinking cocktails and saying, “I can’t believe I’m here.” We did daily yoga classes and the teacher decided we were far more advanced than we are. As she guided us into poses way beyond our ability, the look on Genie’s face was priceless. It made us laugh so much that our bellies got a great workout too. If I’d been there on my own, I wouldn’t have kept going. But with Genie by my side, I’m braver and push myself harder.
Having got swallowed up in the routine of life and taking care of everyone else, we’d neglected ourselves. At the end of our health-boosting trip, we came back feeling refreshed and determined to do more yoga together, which we now do.
While we’re exercising, the time really does fly. Genie is one of the most determined and positive people I know. So at the end of our workouts,
I feel ‘up’ because, as well as getting fitter, I also feel more supported and cared for.”
Alexa and Marea
Though they met 11 years ago, when their daughters both started primary school, these good friends only became ballet buddies recently. Now every week, Alexa Wyatt, a 53-year-old screenwriter, and Marea Orne, 51, a graphic designer, head to Dance Central studios in Sydney’s Surry Hills, where they plié, pirouette and promenade.
Alexa says
“I used to do ballet for years as I was growing up, and 18 months ago, I decided to take it up again. It’s been a really enjoyable nostalgia trip. The teachers and other dancers are lovely, but they’re all younger than me. So I decided to rope in my close friend, Marea. When you work out together, you get hot and sweaty and you prop each other up when energy is flagging, so you relate in a different way and see your friend in a new light, which enriches your relationship. I really admire the way Marea has thrown herself into ballet wholeheartedly. We both sit for hours for our jobs, so ballet is great for ironing out the kinks in your body. As I work to hold my arms in the correct position, keep my bum in and back straight, lift my head high and ensure my feet and legs are turned out, I use muscles I forgot that I had.
The jumps and leaps are great for cardio fitness and the stretches have been really good for boosting my flexibility and suppleness.
Having a fitness buddy makes exercise so much more enjoyable, because each dance class is a social occasion I look forward to. Knowing your buddy will be waiting ‘guilts’ you into turning up and pushing on, even when you’re not in the mood. I’ve tried doing weights and cycling at the gym, but it felt so impersonal and uninspiring. Ballet has the beautiful music and artistic expression. Catching up with Marea as well means I enjoy a laugh and connection too, which lifts my mood. When we’re dancing, it doesn’t feel like exercise. In fact, we’re enjoying working out together so much that I’ve agreed to start going with Marea to her yoga classes every week, which will also be great fun and good for my body and my ballet too.”
Marea says
“I’m a complete newbie to the world of ballet, but I decided to give it a try because of how much Alexa enjoys it. Even though I don’t know all the ballet terms or moves, and I’m certainly not as coordinated as Alexa or many of the other dancers, it has been great for my fitness and flexibility. Alexa and I have lots of fun every class. We do a warm-up at the barre, which involves plenty of different stretches, then the teacher talks us through sequences with steps. That’s when I really rely on Alexa the most. She’s really flexible and experienced and skilled, so I watch her closely to try to emulate what she does. When we get out of step, we look at each other and laugh... a lot. We have a recurring joke, where we visualise our partners watching us.
Though I’ve only been doing ballet with Alexa for a few months, every week I can feel it making me a little more supple and less stiff in my joints. This benefits my yoga, which I do at home and in twice-weekly classes that Alexa is now going to join too, so we’ll be having more fun while getting even more fit together.
The leg stretches in ballet are really challenging and I can’t do them all fully yet. They’re different to the stretches I do during yoga, so it’s great that they are training my body in a different way.
One of my ultimate goals is to eventually be able to do the splits. So in class each week, I try to get a little deeper and lower in that stretch.
Ballet is such a beautiful dance form, and I’m working on becoming more graceful with my execution of the dance steps, especially the arm movements. Alexa really encourages and inspires me to keep improving.
Ballet is something I wanted to try as a child, but we couldn’t afford the lessons. As an adult, I would never have attended these classes on my own, but having Alexa there has given me the courage to give ballet a try – and I’ve really enjoyed the experience. Though Alexa and I live only streets away, we were often so busy we sometimes were not seeing each other for weeks. Now every Saturday morning, we walk together to ballet class and sometimes catch up for a coffee afterwards, so it’s become a real highlight of my week.”
“Ballet is something I wanted to try as a child, but we couldn’t afford the lessons. As an adult, having Alexa there has given me the courage to give it a try.” - Marea Orne, 51