YOU’VE GOT QUESTIONS? SHE’S GOT ANSWERS (BUT YOU PROBABLY WON’T LIKE THEM)

Dear Ayi, I’m thinking about getting a pet. I’m considering a purebred dog, but exotic animals are also very popular nowadays. What would you recommend?

Loving Larry

Another one of you (tǎorénxián, obnoxious people) who think pets are toys! Give me a break! Poodles should not wear shoes, nor have their hair dyed pink, nor go out in a (yīng’érchē, baby stroller)! And those

(yángtu5, alpacas), which are basically long-necked sheep, need to be working the fields, not stuck in a coffee shop. Don’t even get me started with (huànxi5ng, racoons). They’ll bite your face off! But if you are in desperate need of an animal companion, may I suggest a (Zhōnghuá tiányuánquǎn, Chinese field dog)? They are a very healthy and smart breed native to China—a patriotic choice. One of the (tǔgǒu, mutt) from the group of

(liúlànggǒu, stray dogs) I feed in my neighborhood would be perfect for you. They are certainly more noble than some of the (bēibǐ de, despicable) humans I’ve met! I’m sure you don’t want to be one of them.

Everyone is talking about the “元宇宙 (yuán yǔzhòu, metaverse).” What’s your opinion on it?

Gil the Geek

Why the heck do we need another (yǔzhòu, universe) than the one we are already living in? I’m already having a hard time grasping the fact that the Earth is not flat, and you want to tell me about (x$nǐ xiànshí, virtual reality)? My 13-year-old grandson is obsessed with it.

All he does is stare at his computer screen, playing (wǎngy5u, online games), or chatting with

(bùsān búsì, shady) strangers under (x$nǐ huàshēn, avatars). He barely talks to family, let alone goes out. You think that’s the (guāngmíng wèilái, bright future) for (rénlèi, humanity)? Then be my guest, and live your (kōngx$, empty) life online. But we are absolutely sending that kid to a camp to treat his

(wǎngyǐn, internet addiction).

Got questions for our Agony Ayi? Send them to agonyayi@theworldofchinese.com