Find me a cheap luxury car for £1000.
MARK PEARSON There is no better all-round luxury car in the world than the Merc S-class, we all know that – the car that’s led the way in technology and innovation and ferried more rock stars and dignitaries to premieres than any other vehicle. Mine is a perfectly usable petrol-engined limo with a low mileage for a 2000 model and a cheeky turn of speed. Lovely. What have you got, Max? Is it an Audi 80?
MAX ADAMS Dictators have also been ferried around in S-classes, let’s not forget. And as for low mileage, neither of us can claim victory there – especially not yours, with 140k miles. My understated first-generation A8 was revolutionary since it was made of lightweight aluminium, which also has the benefit of not rotting. Unlike yours, which has frilly rear arches and a history of needing welding on past MOTS.
MP Details, details. My Merc cuts it at any function, whereas your five-years-older Audi 100 – sorry, A4 or whatever it is – is just an… Audi, isn’t it?
MA The A8 was the star of the best car chase movie, Ronin, I think you’ll find. In the same shade of green, too.
MP The only shade of green I can see here, Max, is the tinge of jealousy on your upturned apple cheeks. It’s a clear victory for the
three-pointed star. James?
VERDICT
I’ll take the plus-sized A4, please. JAMES RUPPERT